Because Stiffman’s Power Is COMPLETELY Different: DC Universe Presents: Deadman #1 Review

Deadman is one of those characters created in the 60’s that, if he hadn’t been drawn extensively by Neal Adams, probably wouldn’t exist today except maybe in a background shot of a Grant Morrison story written on a day when Grant was feeling a nostalgia for Silver Age DC ephemera almost as powerful as the peyote that’s probably fueling that nostalgia.

The concept behind Deadman is pretty ridiculous at its core for a superhero comic: a famous circus trapeze artist not named Wallenda (which was apparently something you could earn a living at in the days before cable TV and home video pornography) is shot to death by a sniper with one hand. He is then sent back to Earth as an invisible, undetectable ghost with the power to possess people. And he uses that power in the pursuit of justice, rather than the pursuit of possessing whoever happens to be banging Lindsey Lohan at this particular moment, or making Linda Blair gack up pea soup. Possibly while banging Lindsey Lohan. But I digress.

Seriously: Deadman’s power is to possess people, giving those people the ability to… do whatever those people could already do, only with a carny sense of humor. Which is a great character to have in your deck if you happen to need a deus ex machina (“Being invisible, I saw that The Joker fled to the playing card factory!”), or for a familiar character to suddenly start spitting out douchey jokes, (“I saw that The Joker fled to the playing card factory! Now pull Superman’s finger, Batman!”). It has it’s uses, but it’s not like Deadman’s ever been the kind of character that could ever anchor his own title.

Which is why, when I found DC Comic Presents: Deadman #1 in this week’s books, I dealt it to the bottom of the read pile. And why I was surprised that, when I did read it, I found it to be the sleeper hit in this Week’s New 52.

What’s That Giant Sucking Sound? – Review Of Red Hood And The Outlaws #1

18 days ago, when this very Website opened for business, I pointed out that Rob still believes that DC owes him $1.99 because he voted in a phone poll to have Jason Todd killed and they wouldn’t let the fucker stay dead.

I now believe we can tack at least another dollar on to that. That would bring us up to the current cover cost of Red Hood And The Outlaws #1, written by Scott Lobdell with art by Kenneth Rocafort.

This book started with potential. Roy Harper supposedly went to Qurac to help the local populace overthrow their dictator and got thrown in prison for his troubles. Jason Todd travels to Qurac to break Roy Harper out of prison.

Hilarity and a body count ensue. Ok, not really. Just the body count.

Batman Year One: So Good Your Bladder Will Spasm

With all the controversy about the greater Batman reboot storyline going on after this week’s release of Catwoman, and all the cries of “sexist!” and “misogynist!” and “Draw more panels of Bat Doinking or I can’t come!”, you might be longing for a simpler time when a Batman reboot included about 90 percent fewer twitching boners.

Not to worry: Warner Home Video has you covered with a clip from the upcoming Batman: Year One DVD that you can check out after the jump:

All About The Pussy: Catwoman #1 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review contains spoilers… although it would be hard to ruin it any worse than it already is.

When I was in high school, in those dark days before even the first Tim Burton Batman movie was released, it was hard to be a Batman fan. Based upon the fact that Batman lived with a prepubescent boy, I found myself spending an inordinate amount of time, time that I could have spent attempting to convince girls that reading Batman didn’t make me unfuckable,  instead defending the character as a heterosexual gynephile, based purely on implied attraction between Batman and Catwoman, including sidelong glances, near kisses, and vague double entendre.

You damn spoiled rotten kids today, what with your Anne Hathaway, and your slashfic, and your Catwoman #1.

Seriously: check this shit out:

Blind Ambition: Daredevil #4 Review

I like to make the occasional joke about Frank Miller, as I am known to do about anyone who seems to be taking seriously their own bullshit, but the fact of the matter is that the man is one the most lauded comic creators of the 1980s for a reason. Just look at the resume: The Dark Knight Returns. Batman: Year One. Ronin. the Wolverine miniseries with Chris Claremont.

And then there’s Daredevil. Say what you want about Miller’s 21st century penchant for drawing two detailed red dirigibles crashing into each other and then sketching a woman’s nose and eyes above them, but Frank Miller changed the face of Daredevil from a second-tier Spider-Man knockoff into a classic of noir storytelling, which cast a long shadow over the way the character was written and drawn for 25 years.

So when I heard that Mark Waid was going to take over the character with a renumbered #1 issue (But Marvel doesn’t do reboots! Also, their poop smells like ROSES!) and make the character lighter and less tortured, I considered dropping my subscription… but considering I was already considering dropping the book thanks to the disappointing Shadowland event (Daredevil’s a ninja! A possessed ninja! Who raises the dead! Hey, where you going?), I decided to give it a day in court (Lawyer pun not intended).

And I’m glad I did, because it turns out that Waid’s Daredevil is one hell of a book. And issue #4 is the best one yet.

Steve Niles Wants To Show You His Thing. For Free!

You might have heard that there’s a prequel to John Carpenter’s The Thing, coming out in theaters next month, that takes place in Norway about three days before the events of the classic original flick. But you might not know that Steve Niles has written a comic book that’s a prequel to the prequel that takes place about 1,000 years before the events of the prequel.

Sound interesting to you? Well, you can check out the first issue here with pencils by Patric Reynolds (Who did the art on the Serenity one-shot by Patton Oswalt), for free, in its entirety, courtesy of Dark Horse Comics.

We’ve given it a quick skim (And might review it later this week), and it looks like it’s basically The Thing Vs. Vikings. And if the comic and the movie are hits, I’m guessing we can look forward to all kinds of battles, like The Thing Vs. Pirates! Or The Thing Vs. Ninjas! Or if they can get Greg Horn on art, they can do the groundbreaking The Thing Vs. Porn Stars!

Actually, The Thing Vs. Porn Stars isn’t all that groundbreaking… it’s basically the plot to every porn movie ever made.

The Thing movie comes out October 14th.

No “Holy Sh*t” Jokes Until The Book Drops, Please

Newsarama has an exclusive, three-page preview of Frank Miller’s upcoming Legendary Comics graphic novel Holy Terror, where an “original” superhero named The Fixer hunts and kills Al Qaeda terrorists. Check it out here and come on back.

I put the word “original” in quotes because the book was originally announced as Holy Terror, Batman! at WonderCon more than five years ago. Apparently somewhere between then and now either Miller or DC Comics decided that they didn’t like the idea of a story where Batman might stomp the testicles off of gentlemen of Middle Eastern descent before showing them to him. Or maybe people just started questioning where the phrase “Don’t forget to dip the batarangs in pig’s blood, Robin,” might fit into continuity even after the New 52 reboot.

Either way, somewhere along the line Miller took the white-out to Batman’s ears and finally put the finishing touches on the book. And checking out the preview, all I can say is, MAN… I am REALLY looking forward to Sin City 2.

Holy Terror comes out next Wednesday, September 28th.

Fairness Doctrine

And as always, it is Wednesday, and this…

…signals the conclusion of our broadcast day. For the past couple weeks we’ve featured the week’s New 52 releases – and yes, all 13 of this week’s are in that pile – but it seemed like a good time to take a step back and prove that those aren’t all that we read (I also read hardcore pornography! For the articles! Like when she screams “Aa!”).

Tune in throughout the week as we review the best and worst of this week’s new comics… And yes – at the top left you’re seeing the new Marv Wolfman and George Perez retro Teen Titans graphic novel Games. Is the hardcover-only release worth the 25 clams? Shit, we don’t know! Let us sober up, read it and get back to you!

See you tomorrow, suckers!

Four Inches of Plot: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Century: 1969 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: Crisis On Infinite Midlives is proud to introduce our newest contributor, Lance Manion! Lance was trained as a writer, by… ninjas or something… and will be contributing comic and movie reviews, comments on geek culture, and possibly herpes! You can learn more about Lance when we get around to publishing an About Us page! Welcome, Lance!

Alan Moore has lost it.  Yeah, I’m going there.  With publication of LXG 1969, I’ve accepted that the mind that created Watchmen, re-envisioned Swamp Thing, and invented The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, has finally jumped the shark.  Actually, that’s not entirely true.  More accurately, he roofied the shark, transported it to some sort of realm of the imagination, had sex with it in every possible configuration, some requiring non-Euclidian geometry, dropped it back off in the ocean, and then slapped it in the face.

Just Punching The Clock: Green Lantern #1 Review

And now for one last pre-comic store opening review of last Wednesday’s books…

For most of Green Lantern’s history, the character had a weakness against the color yellow. That, however, was before the DC New 52 reboot. Now it is a whole new world, and Green Lantern apparently has only one weakness: the fucking inker.

Doug Mahnke has been drawing Green Lantern in the main book since 2009; his art is proven on Green Lantern, and was a welcome point of continuity between the pre and post New 52 universes. But then they hired inker Christian Alamy, who is a perfectly competent inker provided you want each panel of the book to look like Steve Dillon was given a case of Jameson to draw green rings on the hands of every character in an old issue of Preacher.

I’m serious – just take a look at this: