Short, But Sweet…

Unless you’ve been off planet, you’ve probably noticed that news of the shake-up in the Marvel Universe, due to the events in Dan Slott’s Amazing Spider-Man, has even made it into the mainstream news. So, it’s probably just as well that it was a light week for most of the other books, what with the holidays and all interrupting normal publishing schedules. Between ASM stealing most of the comic news thunder and the after effects of holiday hangovers, it’s just a little hard to concentrate right now here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives home office.

Which means that this…

…is the end of our broadcast day.

Not a bad little take: Amazing Spider-Man #700 (a double sized monstrosity or extravaganza, depending on where you fall with that series final resolution), Avenging Spider-Man #15.1 (which has a first glimpse of “The Superior Spider-Man”), Justice League #15, and, because there are still books in the world not published by Marvel or DC, Mara, by Brian Wood, Ming Doyle and Jordie Bellaire.

And, as ever, before we can review them, we need to read ’em. Which means we need to stop our hands from shaking long enough to turn some pages. Which means we need to get to the liquor store before it closes. So, until then…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!

End of The (Web) Line: Amazing Spider-Man #700 Review

Editor’s Note: Better Yet, with my unparalleled genius — and my boundless ambitions — I’ll be a better Spoiler-Man than you ever were.

I hated Star Trek: Generations. Yes, I know this is a review of The Amazing Spider-Man #700, but just bear with me for a second.

The climax of Generations featured the death of Captain Kirk. If I’m remembering correctly (and if I’m not, screw it; I’m not watching that pile of shit again), a bunch of scaffolding collapsed on Kirk, killing him slowly due to internal injuries. “It was… fun,” Kirk said. “Fuck this bullshit,” I said.

The problem wasn’t that Kirk died. The problem was the way that Kirk died. Sure, he went down fighting evil, and he did it even knowing that no one would ever know that he did what he did, and that’s fine… but there is no way on God’s Green Earth that James Tiberius Kirk dies due to shitty construction and a bad step. It is wrong, and it is anti-climactic.

You want to kill Jim Kirk? There is only one way he dies: he goes down with the ship.

With that let’s turn an eye to The Amazing Spider-Man #700.

There is a lot in this comic book that writer Dan Slott does reasonably well. He shows two mortal enemies locked in battle, and demonstrates that at least in terms of intelligence, they are pretty evenly matched. He clearly spent some time thinking about Internet gutter wits (Hey Mom! I’m on the Internet!) looking for plot holes and preemptively plugging them, and gives a reasonable explanation for how and why the combatant who survives will act in the way he must for the ongoing conceit to even remotely have legs. And he gave himself an out for the new status quo… which I think we all know isn’t really the new normal. After all, let’s remember that , in the past five or six years, Marvel has killed and resurrected Captain America and Thor twice each. Big name characters in the Marvel Universe get killed and rise from the grave so often they make Jesus look like D-Man.

And yes, someone does die here, however temporarily. And Slott does his best to make that death emotional and moving, and succeeds up to a point. Problem is, that death doesn’t feel earned… and it is the equivalent of dying in a Goddamned scaffolding collapse.

So who dies, and is it all worth it? Well, let’s talk about that after the jump, with one warning: after that jump, there will be spoilers.

Happy Boxing Day – Review Of Joe Palooka #1

Editor’s Note: And one last review of the comics of 12/19/2012 before the comic store open…

From the 1920s and well into the middle of the 20th century, American comics press had a tradition of popularizing idealized characters as heroes – hard bitten detectives like Dick Tracy, plucky orphans who make good like Little Orphan Annie, and tenacious fighters with tender hearts like Joe Palooka.

Created by cartoonist Ham Fisher, Joe Palooka had a very successful run as a syndicated comic strip from 1930 until 1984. At its peak, it ran in 900 newspapers and spawned radio spots, a television show and a movie. The American public continues to demonstrate a soft spot for its fighters, to which the popularity and critical acclaim of such movies as Million Dollar Baby and The Fighter can attest. Even as straight up boxing has moved from weekend afternoon sports coverage on networks to cable and pay-per-view programming, viewers still can get their pugilism fix through any of a number of mixed martial arts programs, like Ultimate Fighting Championship or StrikeForce. So, it’s no surprise that characters inspired by MMA fighters are finding their way back into the comics medium, as with Blair Butler’s 2011 series Heart.

Joe Antonacci, a veteran ringside announcer of boxing and MMA matches, now owns the trademark to Joe Palooka and has rebooted the character as an ongoing comic book series. Joe Palooka, also known in this new book as Nick Davis, is an up and coming MMA fighter with a background in bare knuckle boxing from his time growing up as a child of migrant farm workers. The story has been mapped out by the creative team of Antonacci, with creative partners Matt Triano and Mike Bullock. Bullock also scripted the issue. Art is handled by Fernando Peniche with Bob Pedroza on colors.

So, how does Joe Palooka hold up to his modernization?

Our hero’s spoiler filled origins, after the jump!