Bros Before… Ah, Nevermind: Batman And Red Hood #20 Review

batman_and_red_hood_20_cover_2013Batman And Red Hood (previously named Batman & Robin but recently renamed due to Robin being occupied by a previous engagement with a dirtnap) #20 is finally proof – to me, at least – that when Grant Morrison killed Robin in Batman Incorporated, he really didn’t tell anyone what he was planning to do ahead of time. Because the only possible explanation I can think of for a comic like Batman And Red Hood #20 to exist is that the creative team had to come up something – any damn thing – to fill the pages that was at least somewhat on point with this dead kid they suddenly found themselves saddled with.

Seriously: sudden, blinding panic is the only explanation for some of the things we’re seeing in this issue. Trying to introduce some version of Carrie Kelley that we’ve never seen before is a bad enough flailing grasp from a creative team realizing that they’re buying groceries with the money made from a book with the name “Robin” in the title. But it also is the only explanation for, hell, almost the remainder of the book. There are so many problems with this issue, from off character moments to weird methods of attack that make no sense to a couple of legitimate “what the fuck?” panels that I have to believe the issue was whipped together at the last minute in a pants-shitting panic.

Because otherwise, I need to believe that a writer of a Batman comic book would think that Batman would engage in a drive-by shooting in the interest of resurrecting the dead.

Yeah, you heard me.

So Batman is down in the Batcave looking up on some Ethiopian gunmen via the Bat-Satellite (I guess) when Carrie Kelley, who we met last issue as being Damian’s former acting teacher, wanders in, demanding to see Bruce and Damian. Alfred, proving that as a butler, he not even one hell of a doorstop, not only brings the young lady in to give Bruce shit, but offers her a job around the mansion to help feed the dog, and hopefully to screen callers at the door, because clearly Alfred sucks at it. Meanwhile, Bruce calls Red Hood to join him on a trip to take out those Ethiopian gunmen in the manner the Batman Family is best known for: guns blazing, while toting high-tech gloves that do nervous system damage to people’s hands, because… I don’t know, maybe crowbars are expensive in Gotham. Anyway, after the fight, Batman takes Red Hood on a scenic drive to the Magdala Valley, where Red Hood was killed by Joker back in Death In The Family. Batman’s hoping that Hood will suddenly remember what brought him back to life so Batman can use it on Damian, so Damian can have a chance to grow up into a fine, upstanding young man like, well, Red Hood. Hood is miffed by this betrayal, and then there is, as there often is in the comics, violence.

There as so many fucked-up things in this issue it almost boggles the mind. First of all, this assault on bounty hunters in Ethiopia, where Batman not only takes a known shooter like Red Hood, but issues commands to Red Hood as to where to shoot as they drive around the camp. Now granted, Batman orders Hood to use non-lethal shots, but we are talking about Batman. And his condoning of the use of a handgun. That just ain’t right, man; Batman does not condone the use of guns. So Batman wheeling around in his car with Red Hood popping caps out the window like they just saw someone wearing a blue hood on their corner is so tone deaf it almost can’t be believed. What’s next, guys? Batman gonna tell Red Hood to whack out their families to teach them as lesson?

And there’s Carrie Kelley. What the hell is she doing here? First of all, it’s not even the Carrie Kelley from The Dark Knight Returns, who was a neglected kid who decided to become Robin on her own. This is just some girl from out of the air who shows up with a knowledge of Titus Andronicus, how to play the piano, and a knowledge of large breed dogs that would seem unrivaled if I hadn’t heard everything she says about them from Dogs 101 on Animal Planet. Look: this girl calling herself Carrie Kelley is here for exactly two reasons: we need to believe that Batman is on the prowl for a new Robin – even though he’s frantically trying to bring Damian back to life at the same time – and because someone in DC Editorial has a serious rage-on against Stephanie Brown. Seriously: if you’re gonna tease a short term Robin while Batman is grieving, Stephanie should be your huckleberry. I’m just not buying this character just showing up. It feels forced and gimmicky, particularly since, in the years since Dick Grayson became Nightwing, it seems like there’s always another potential Robin who just pops up from out of nowhere. At this point, if I’m Robin and I see anyone under the age of 20 hanging around, I’m rifling Bruce’s desk to see if there’s a life insurance policy on me.

Frankly, this issue is gonna live or die based on the interplay between Jason and Bruce… and it really kinda died there. We’ve got Batman and Red Hood beating the shit out of these gunmen and each waxing rhetorically about the power of family and how much love there is between them… and it doesn’t work. Besides the incongruity and florid nature of the exchanges happening in the middle of a fucking gun battle, think about the characters we’re talking about here: a guy who believes his adoptive father let him die and who then came back to wear the original mask of his greatest fucking enemy to antagonize that father figure with guns… and that father figure, who has devoted his entire life to stopping people who use guns, because a gun robbed him of his family. There people would not love each other. They wouldn’t trust each other as far as they could throw each other… and therefore that sequence just doesn’t work for me. And when that falls flat, the “doublecross” of bringing Jason to the scene of his crime doesn’t have the punch it needs to. If you don’t believe that there really is any love between these two guys, then the betrayal is just a plot point. The only betrayal I felt here was against me, who called the 900 number to kill Jason Todd back in the 80s. I want my two dollars back, DC! But I digress.

The pencils by Patrick Gleason and Cliff Richards (it’s not clear how the work was split) are simple, yet solid, comic art. The lines are simple, and there isn’t a lot fo extraneous detail to many of the panels – many panels have either no background beyond a solid color, or very minimalistic backgrounds. That can sometimes be a detriment – bad art with no background just feels like the artist doesn’t give enough of a shit to do a complete panel – but here it puts the focus on the characters, who in general have realistic figures and simply-lined faces… although the simplicity of the faces does, in a few panels, lead to them looking kinda wooden. But the story tracks well visually, and the pacing works for the high level of action in the middle of the book.

Batman And Red Hood #20 is really a mess. I don’t think Batman would let someone smoke in his car, let alone pop off a pistol at people, nor do I believe that Red Hood would have that much sublimated love for a man who let him die at the hands of a madman, celebrated his return by trying to hunt him down, and who has replaced him three times since. And unless it turns out that “Carrie Kelley” is Stephanie Brown trying to infiltrate Stately Wayne Manor in some kind of disguise, it’s gonna take a lot more than the name of a Robin from an Elseworlds book to make me buy into her sudden appearance. And last but not least, no one is gonna make me believe that, if Batman wants to relieve someone of the use of their fingers? He won’t invent a special nerve-destroying glove… he will break their fucking fingers.

This one’s a mess, kids. Do yourself a favor and start your New Comics Day with a different book.