Episode 95: Kylo Ren is a Piece of…

We all know that, if you are of the comic book and genre entertainment persuasion, the only Goddamned thing you and we are talking about is the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. It has been three years and two months since The Mouse bought a galaxy far, far away, and with that kind of time to anticipate a movie, what did you think we were going to talk about?

We are joined this week with guests:

• Boston comedian Ross Garmil,
• New York comedian and Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore staffer Benari Poulten, and:
• longtime friends of the show Trebuchet and Pixiestyx!

And we spend a couple of hours talking about The Force Awakens. Specifically, who we think Rey is the daughter of, who we think is behind The First Order, how the non-speaking players are better than they’ve ever been, how Kylo Ren is a real jerk (a kneebiter, if you will), and a bunch of other Star Wars stuff!

Be warned: This show is full of spoilers. If you haven’t seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens, give this show a pass. Seriously. Assume the first two words we utter are the names of who gets killed.

And, for even more disclaimers:

• We recorded this show live to tape, with minimal editing (although there’s a little extra post-processing in effect this week, thanks to our furnace unexpectedly turning on). While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like the speculation about where a tube sock might figure into the Rey’s origin.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. You want your boss to hear speculation about Rey’s origin that not only would ruin the new movie, but his or her ability to enjoy an adult relationship for quite some time? Get some headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:50:26 — 105.3MB)

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Enjoy the show, suckers!

Episode 94: Through A Haggis Darkly

After weeks of renovations here at the All-New, All-Different Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, we had a relatively quiet few days for a change. So we took the opportunity to catch up on Doctor Who season 9, the second with Peter Capaldi as The Doctor and the last with Jenna Coleman as Clara, although unlike when other Companions have made their curtain calls, I suspect we’ll be seeing Clara again. Soon.

So we spend a good chunk of the episode talking about the season, including its two-episode story structure, the circumstances of Clara leaving The Doctor, why putting a gun in The Doctor’s hand is lazy writing, why Maisie Williams would make an excellent Doctor, and how showrunner Steven Moffat apparently thinks there’s a Jackrabbit Slims on every street corner in America. Most importantly, we lay out why penultimate episode Heaven Sent is a an unholy plot-holed mess in The Girl Who Waited clothing.

We also discuss:

• Scarlet Witch #1, written by James Robinson with art by Vanesa Del Ray, and:
• Constantine The Hellblazer #7, written by James Tynion IV and Ming Doyle, with art by Brian Level and Riley Rossmo!

And now, the usual disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like discussing whether Maisie Williams’s character had an unfortunate encounter with stripper glitter, a Bedazzler or a nose piercing.
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, be aware that there are reasons we discuss who would be the best actress to portray a female Doctor.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. You want your employer to hear what is aggressively pouring out of John Constantine’s drain? You do not. Get some headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:30:51 — 83.2MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 93: Cinematic Elephantiasis

Yes, we are late this week, and for that we apologize. Here at the All-New, All-Different Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, renovations continue… and continue… and continue, meaning that our recording studio was covered in painters’ tarp and plastic up until this morning.

But we are back in business, and wanted to make sure that we talked about the new trailer and teaser for Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice that dropped last week. After all, we are among the few defenders of director Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel, so we wanted to talk about how the new footage affected our enthusiasm for the movie, which drops in March.

As it turns out, the answer to that is: “badly.”

We also discuss:

• Daredevil #1, written by Charles Soule with art by Ron Garney,
• The Totally Awesome Hulk #1, written by Grek Pak with art by Frank Cho, and,
• Robin War #1, written by Tom King with various artists!

And, as always, the disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like the domestication of the wily Pseudo-Winklevoss.
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, just assume we will ruin everything you love and care about.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. While I think we present a compelling case as to why Armie Hammer would be an ideal choice to front a Frank Miller-ish reboot of Home Alone, do you think your employer cares? Of course not. Get some ear buds.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:26:57 — 78.5MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 92: …And Then There Were Skrulls

While we are still in the throes of The Neverending Move, and therefore somewhat distractible (Hi, Fallout 4! Let me spend hours up in you, trying to find our new Home Office!), it would take more than a month living out of boxes to keep us from noticing the first trailer for Captain America: Civil War, or as we like to call it, Avengers 2.5.

We spent a good chunk of time watching, and rewatching, and rewatching the trailer, and spend some time discussing how it not only already looks better than the comic from which it came, by dint of the fact that Tony Stark isn’t suddenly acting like an amoral fascist just to advance a plot (Hi, Mark  Millar!), but how it seems like a weird time to mess up the MCU superhero status quo given that their next Earth-level superhero flick is more than a year after Civil War. We also speculate which side everyone will land on, and discuss why, if the Russo Brothers don’t use Mike Colter’s Luke Cage the way Brian Michael Bendis used Cage in Civil War, they are Goddamned fools.

We also discuss:

• DK III #1, written by Frank Miller and Brian Azzarello, with pencils by Andy Kubert and inks by Klaus Janson,
• Jacked #1, written by Eric Kripke with art by John Higgins, and:
• Who would win in a drinking contest: Demon In A Bottle Tony Stark, or Alias‘s Jessica Jones (Yes, this was a weird show)!

And now, the disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like learning why Starfox could outdrink Rocket Raccoon (It’s not why you think! It’s filthy!)
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, just be aware you will learn the secret origin of Phil Coulson’s Vanity Vehicle.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. Seriously: the whole Starfox / Rocket Raccoon thing is just awful. Get some headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:34:12 — 83.1MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 91: At The End Of The Day, I’m Just Not A Ninja

Yes, we are back. And yes, it has been a long time. Thanks to the horrors of moving, which include misplaced boxes, emergency repairs, rescheduled workmen, and the Fickle Fingering of XFinity, we are only just now able to return to the Internet Airwaves. Thankfully, it was just in time to binge-watch Netflix’s and Marvel Studios’ Jessica Jones, which dropped its entire first season this past Friday.

So we discuss the series, including how, like with Daredevil, it seems about three episodes too long. We talk about how the series compares to Alias, the Brian Michael Bendis-written comic book the series was based on. And we go over how the story works not only as a classic film noir where the femme fatale is actually the hero, and how it can be seen as a tacit examination and deconstruction of Doctor Who.

We also discuss:

• Secret Six #8, written by Gail SImone with art by Dale Eaglesham and Tom Derenick, and:
• Star Wars: Vader Down #1, written by Jason Aaron with art by Mike Deodato, Jr.!

And now, the disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like discovering why “Comcast” is an unholy word.
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, just go into this assuming that we will ruin not only Jessica Jones for you, but also 666 Park Avenue and diaper fetishism.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. You want your boss to hear a sentence that contains the phrases, “railed,” “in the,” and “heat pump?” Get yourself some headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:18:20 — 70.3MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 90: Laverne And Zombie

As we have been for the past several weeks, we remain immersed in the process of moving to a new Home Office. This means that we have spent our week collating documents mundane and obscure, and hunting for documents demanded by Unseen Powers that are so obscure that they apparently Cannot Be Named.

So we welcomed the distraction provided by a universe where, if a man wants a new house, he need but clear it of shambling ghouls and defend it from traitors and raiders. That universe being that of The Walking Dead, which debuted its sixth season last Sunday. So we discuss this magic world that is so blessedly empty of lawyers, mortgage underwriters and real estate brokers. A world that provides not only some of the most stunning visuals this series has ever presented, but which also raises questions about the very nature of morality and the rule of law, in a world where a society’s members, circumstances and requirements can change by the second.

We also discuss:

• Chewbacca #1, written by Gerry Duggan with art by Phil Noto, and:
• Uncanny Avengers #1, also written by Gerry Duggan with art by Ryan Stegman!

And, the inevitable disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like the avocation of financial, and perhaps physical, sanctions for late comics.
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout warnings ahead of time, be aware that we may ruin the surprise as to who this season of The Walking Dead’s Carl is (fun fact: it might not be Carl!).
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. We talk a lot about “horrible biological sounds” this week. Think your boss would use that in a positive way in your annual review? Yeah, get some headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:44:23 — 96.4MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 89: Do You Want G’nort? Because That’s How You Get G’nort

Well, New York Comic Con was this week… and we were not at it. And what with the impending Home Office move, we were too busy to follow nearly as much of it as we would have liked. But still, we open the episode gamely trying like hell to round up some of the news and announcements from the convention… before realizing that there is one activity that no amount of bad scheduling or work commitments or lack of funds can keep us from experiencing: television.

This week gave us the debuts of the new seasons of The Flash and Arrow on The CW (or, as Rob continues to insist upon calling it, The DCW). And these debuts brought some interesting new angles to old familiar characters, like Arrow trying to find love, and The Flash trying to nuke a guy to death. So we discuss the episodes, some of the changes that seem to be in store for the characters in the coming season, who we think will die, who we think will receive either a power ring or villain helmet… and most importantly, how Arrow and The Flash seem willing to take standard superhero story tropes and turn them delightfully on their heads.

We also discuss:

• Dr. Strange #1, written by Jason Aaron with art by Chris Bachalo, and:
• The Amazing Spider-Man #1, main story written by Dan Slott with art by Giuseppe Camuncoli!

And, as usual, the disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like a discussion about how the best Inhumans movie would feature Lockjaw, a green screen, and piddling on a baby.
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, be warned that you will learn whether or not we were serious about The Flash nuking a dude to death.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. Do you want your employer hearing about the surgical alternative to Method Acting? You do not. Listen with headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:43:15 — 93.7MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 88: The Brown Note of Justice

Yes, we are back, after yet another long week of trials and tribulations in the hunt for a new Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office forced us to miss another episode, for which we humbly apologize. We believe our Long National Nightmare has ended, and that we will have no further service interruptions… at least until November 1, when we will be in the new Home Office, but likely with no Internet service. But that is a problem for the future.

As for today’s problems, well, how do you solve a problem like Heroes Reborn? The sequel to the 2006 – 2010 series that captivated the world before reminding it why many kids abandoned comics once they reached the age of reason (“How about evil carnies? Just write it! I’m taking a long lunch! Did I say ‘long?’ I meant ‘liquid!'”) debuted on NBC last week. We are huge fans of Heroes, going back to when we saw the pilot at SDCC 2006, and had high hopes for this return to the world of Peter Petrelli, Hiro Nakamura and visions of the future via Tim Sale. So we spend some time talking about what works, what doesn’t, and whether you should tune into this show if you aren’t already fans of the Enemies of Sylar (short answer: probably not)!

We also discuss:

• Batman Annual #4, written by James Tynion IV with art by Roge Antonio, and:
• Gotham By Midnight #9, written by Ray Fawkes with art by Juan Ferreyra!

And, the usual disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like a conversation about how Heroes‘s Noah Bennet is a (terrible) role model to America’s youth via his never giving a woman his real name.
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, just assume that we reveal Hiro Nakamura’s message from the future.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. Unless you want your co-workers to hear the tale of Drunken Mexican Batman, consider using headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:47:58 — 97.7MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 87: No, I’m Steve Davros. From Poughkeepsie?

After weeks of holidays, househunting, open houses, forced cleaning, and terminal exhaustion, we are finally back on schedule, and back in our Home Office studio! And just in time for The Magician’s Apprentice, the Season Nine debut of Doctor Who.

If you’ve listened to the show for any length of time, you know that Amanda is a 30-plus year devotee of The Doctor, while Rob has only been watching since the reboot with Christopher Eccleston, and yet they both believe that this premiere is too reliant on classic Who villains, adversaries, themes, character beats, and that the Doctor’s grand entrance is a lift of the Doof Warrior from Mad Max: Fury Road. And yet there are still some fun moments, and reasons to be hopeful for the season overall.

We also discuss:

• Captain America: White #1, written by Jeph Loeb with art by Tim Sale, and:
• The Paybacks #1, written by Donny Cates and Eliot Rahal, with art by Geoff Shaw and Lauren Affe!

And now, the usual disclaimers:

• We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like the only pitch Rob will ever make for a comic book: ISIU: Insurance Super Investigations Unit.
• This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, be aware that you will learn things about the season premiere of Doctor Who that no one should know… yeah, okay; it’s a “two organs” joke. We’re sorry.
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. You think your employer wants to hear about how The Doctor’s Companions rank against Japanese Hentai? Yeah, get some headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:25:45 — 79.0MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!

Episode 86: Fatigue Hysteria II: The Enhousening

We are aware that this week’s episode is late… and short… and poorly planned. And for that, we apologize. What started as an idle effort to possibly locate a new Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office became, somewhere along the way, an all-encompassing time suck of physical labor, self-doubt, emotional blackmail, and begging for money.

And while the worst of the distractions are over (for now), we only have a short show this week, with an update on some of the details behind the delay, and a short discussion about Batman #44, written by Scott Snyder and Bryan Azzarello with art by Jock.

We should be back to our regularly-scheduled programming this Sunday. Thanks for hanging in with us during the interruption!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 27:35 — 26.4MB)

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Thanks for listening, suckers!