At last weekend’s New York Comic Con, Marvel Studios debuted the first new footage from the upcoming Joss Whedon-directed Avengers movie to be screened since the official trailer dropped last week.

Before showing the new footage, the panel’s moderator admonished the crowd not to film the footage, with Mark Ruffalo warning attendees: “Don’t make me angry.”

But someone did film the footage…

…or at least we assume that someone did, because people are like that. But no matter how much Irished-up coffee we pour down our heads to make the search longer and more interesting, we can’t find the fucking thing online yet. Sorry about that.

But to appease those who may have wandered here from our dishonest, Google-whoring headline, we do have the new Clark Gregg-starred Phil Coulson: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. short, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Thor’s Hammer, in its entirety, after the jump.

Cover of Dark Horse Comics' Orchid #1, written by Tom Morello. Cover by Shepard Fairey

Can’t… make an F-chord on the guitar that sounds like anything but shit.
– Stephen King, Misery

When it comes to Dark Horse Comics’ Orchid #1, I want to give writer Tom Morello the benefit of the doubt, the way I did a few years back when Scott Ian from Anthrax wrote a couple of issues of Lobo for DC Comics. I really do.

After all, based on Morello’s interview with Rolling Stone last week, he grew up a comic geek just like Ian and the rest of us. And what with me being a former FM rock radio DJ, I will gladly admit that Morello gets sounds out of a guitar that neither I nor Scott Ian could get out of a woman with a million dollars in blood diamonds, a vibrator and a non-Irish dick.

And Morello’s even coughing up an original song you can download with every issue, which Dark Horse is calling “a free piece of musical score by Morello,” which although harder to type, sounds a hell of a lot nicer than “multimedia bribery”… which WILL be the name of my Rage Against The Machine tribute band. But I digress.

But the unfortunate fact of the matter is that if Alan Moore showed up at Epic Records waving a copy of Watchmen and demanding a record deal, he’d be laughed out of the lobby just before and extensively after security mildly tased him for being an insane person. Dark Horse should’ve done the same when Morello knocked.

According to recent tweets by CNN GeekOut! and Newsarama, last night’s season two premiere of The Walking Dead was watched by over 7 million viewers. Huge numbers! Wow, who didn’t see it last night? Well, me – but I had an excuse. I was catching up on Red while the DVR was recording The Walking Dead. Insert your “geriatric killers are kind of like zombies” joke here.

But, you know who also didn’t watch The Walking Dead last night?

George Romero.

Yup, the father of modern zombie horror as we know it is not a fan of The Walking Dead.

Promo cover for Fatale #1, written by Ed Brubaker with pencils by Sean PhillipsAt Friday’s Creator-Owned Comics panel at the New York Comic Con, hosted by Robert Kirkman, who is arguably the poster boy for creator-owned books what with his walking away from Marvel at the height of his popularity and his 427 bazillion dollars of Walking Dead TV money, announced that Image Comics will be producing Fatale, a supernatural crime book by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips, the creative team behind Criminal, Sleeper and Incognito.

Tell us about the book, Ed!

“I’ve been wanting for a while to do something with a more supernatural element to it… ‘Fatale’ mixes what [Sean and I] do and all the ways we’ve poked fun at the noir genre. If ‘Incognito’ was us doing ‘What if Doc Savage, Dashiell Hammet and Raymond Chandler had all existed in the same universe?’ then this is a weird combo of James M. Cain and Lovecraft…

The story involves all these characters that spin around a woman who may or may not be the living incarnation of the femme fatale. Parts of the story are told from her point of view.

I’m gonna let you insert your own Cthuhlu / tentacle porn joke here. Because I am one classy motherfucker.

I don’t know if you’ve heard but, Marvel doesn’t do reboots. No, they have their events, goddammit! And they’re going to stick to them, no matter how awful and convoluted they get what. Well, this past week, one of those events, X-Men: Schism, finally came to a head in X-Men: Schism #5 by Jason Aaron, with art by Adam Kubert. By the end of this book, Scott Summers, aka Cyclops, and Logan, aka Wolverine, finally have it out and break up the team with such force and drama as to make Noel and Liam Gallagher look positively civilized in comparison.

Also out this past week was X-Men: Regenesis, a one shot by Kieron Gillen, who will be writing the Uncanny X-Men reboot relaunch. X-Men: Regenesis also features art by Billy Tan. This book gives the reader a look at the behind the scenes arguments, wheedling and general drama that took place as the members of Utopia decide which dad to go and live with. Sure, you don’t need to read both to understand that going forward there will be two teams, one led by Scott and the other by Logan. You can get that from just reading one book or the other, or, you know the internet. However, reading them together, I found, really helped me cement whether or not I was Team Scott or Team Logan.

About a week and a half ago, we reported on a postcard that Marvel sent to comic book retailers like my local comic store owner, who knows me by name and asks me not to unbuckle my belt and tell him to “check out my back issue”, that simply read: “It’s Coming.” Following the right URL to Marvel’s Website brought you to a page containing a placeholder for their liveblog of Marvel Chief Creative Officer Joe Quesada’s Cup ‘O Joe panel at the New York Comic Con.

Well, that panel took place yesterday. Tell us what’s coming, Marvel blogger UltimateKidNova!

The teaser “It’s Coming” was shown once more before being morphed into what seems to hint heavily at the return of a certain character named for a mythical flaming bird.

“Flaming bird,” huh? Can you be a little more specific? RuPaul? Devine? Beiber?

Yeah, even I’m not that hung over. Marvel’s bringing back Phoenix. Eventually. Marvel’s promo art they showed at the panel is after the jump.

DC’s Justice League panel at the New York Comic Con was held earlier today – well, they called it the “Justice League” panel, but it pretty much had every creator on the New 52 except for Scott Lobdell, who rumor has it was unavilable due to a prior commitment to be in a fetal position, rocking, crying and ignoring the constant ring of the telephone.

There were a ton of revelations in the panel, one of which being that DC didn’t open the panel to questions from the audience until more than halfway through, which is a MAJOR departure from the DC panels we’ve see at SDCC since 2006, where Dan DiDio has historically said, “This is a panel about INSERT SUBJECT HERE! Let’s take questions!” Thanks again, San Diego Batgirl!

But one of the other bigger revelations was that DC is rebooting and relaunching Captain Marvel.

Are you reading Demon Knights by Paul Cornell and artist Diogenes “Best Name Ever” Neves yet? Why not? Do I need to come over there? Read this book, damn it!

I could stop there and make this the shortest review ever, but I won’t.

Here’s why you should be reading this book:
(*spoilery goodness after the jump*)

DC Comics’ New York Comic Con panel on their Edge / Dark line of New 52 books happened today, and while we haven’t come across any specific coverage of the panel yet that we can cannibalize, regurgitate and spit back at it in lieu of actual journalism Rob: edit this shit out now. We can at least act like we know what the fuck we’re doing -Amanda

Whoops! Sorry, technical difficulties, folks! Sorry about that. As I was clearly saying, while we haven’t been able to diligently ferret out any details about what happened in the panel, DC’s Source blog helpfully published the covers to the upcoming Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #5 and OMAC #5, by J.J. Jones and Keith Giffen respectively, which you can see after the jump:

It’s not all bad news at the New York Comic Con. Some of it is absolutely wretched news. And sometimes there is the odd apocalyptically terrible, awful, no-good news.

And then there is the occasional brain-dead, redneck, dumbfuck, “Hey guys! Lookit THIS!” news that would normally involve mescaline, a healthy infant and a 110-volt blender in a 220-volt socket news:

Announced [yesterday] at New York Comic Con, Image Comics announced [sic] that Rob Liefeld is returning Extreme Studios to active status!

Son of a…

Okay… so this is a… thing that’s happening… tell us about it, Robbie-Boy!