Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast Episode 15: Ladies’ Footwear And Murder

It is Sunday, which means it’s time for another episode of the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Show, or as we like to call it: that thing we do as an excuse to not write for one day so we can devote more time to drinking whiskey, watching Game of Thrones, and babying the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office Mascot, Parker The Kitten.

On today’s show, we tackle:

• Godzilla! We went into it thinking it would be a movie filled with Walter White battling a giant lizard, walked out of it thinking it was a pretty enjoyable reboot of the property… and then we talked about it. And sometimes, that’s the worst thing you can do to a movie…
• Wild-assed and variant covers – Marvel announced this week that the covers of each issue of The Death of Wolverine would be something called “Weapon Etched Holo Foil,” and DC is planning to release their Futures End (Mistakenly called Five Years Later in the show) September one-shots with another series of 3D covers. As a couple of people who lived through variant covers and how they helped kill comics in the mid-90s, we don’t have a lot to add about it, but man do we like to complain about them.
• Batgirl #31, written by Gail Simone with art by Fernando Pasarin
• The United States of Murder Inc., written by Brian Michael Bendis with art by Michael Avon Oeming
• The Walking Dead #127, written by Robert Kirkman with art by Charlie Adlard, and:
• Cat nutrition, or: taking care of a stray animal for only $47 a day

And one show note for the week:

• The Island of The Mushroom People is an actual movie, actually called Attack of The Mushroom People in America and Matango in its native Japan. I wish I was making that up.

And, our usual semi-legalese:

• This show was recorded live to tape, meaning that you might hear more than the normal number of “ums”, pregnant pauses, and references to Bukkake
• This show contains adult, profane language, and is not safe for work. That line just above about references to Bukkake? I didn’t pull that out of my ass. Be smart: listen with headphones.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:19:41 — 73.0MB)

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Enjoy the show, suckers!

Big News, Bigger Monsters: Godzilla Featurette Released

While we were busy at the American Classic Arcade Museum, pretending that the end of the world would come from the bottom of a vector graphics tube, or perhaps in the form of an orderly stack of marching aliens that mutter, “Dun DUN Dun DUN” while firing missiles so powerful that even gravity doesn’t change their velocity (because Force equals Mass times Fuck You Gravity I’ll Get There When I’m Ready), there was a of comics news that came out of Chicago’s C2E2 convention.

There was the announcement from Marvel that we’re about to learn about a second person who was bitten by the spider that gave Peter Parker his powers, and the other announcement that Wolverine is about to die (and unlike every other comic book character who isn’t Uncle Ben, Logan is really and truly gonna stay dead you gais!!!1!), and then there was the news that Zack Snyder has already been signed to direct Justice League immediately after he’s done with Batman Vs. Superman. And these are all things that we want to talk about… and we will, when we record our podcast tomorrow. Yes, I know we are already a day late on releasing it, but we are still half dead from playing stand-up arcade games for eight hours at a time, and the Home Office Mascot, Parker the Kitten, is still exacting vengeance for our 72 hour absence by demanding constant and exhausting play.

So while we gather our thoughts on these weighty matters for honest discussion (and dick jokes – a J’onn J’onzz vs. J’onn T’omazz gag is never far from my lips) tomorrow, we will instead move to simpler matters of giant monsters and mass destruction with no possibility of superhuman intervention: Godzilla, to be precise. The movie opens on May 16th in the United States (and on May 14th or May 15th across most of the rest of the civilized world), which means that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures are putting the publicity machine into overdrive.

The most recent release is a short featurette on the flick, which features some quotes from Bryan Cranston and Elizabeth Olsen… which means that you can forget what I said about superhuman intervention a paragraph ago. Godzilla is doing battle with Walter White and The Scarlet Witch, yo. With that kind of opposition, Godzilla won’t have the time to throw a tidal wave in a bathtub.

Either way, you can check out the video after the jump.

This Godzilla Is A Major Problem For Us; It Will Ruin Our Batch: Godzilla Extended Trailer Released

Dear God, I can’t believe how little I cared about the reboot of Godzilla when I first heard about it at last year’s SDCC. With what I’ve seen since then, I feel shame.

I think part of my initial lack of interest was based on the fact that I hadn’t heard at the time that Bryan Cranston was starring in the flick. Sure, the 90s Roland Emmerich Godzilla flick had Matthew Broderick in it, who I’ve liked since I was a kid, but I think nobody realized at the time that ol’ Matt used up all his “The World Is Coming To An End!” pathos sometime between the end of principal photography for WarGames and when John Hughes told him he’d be headlining a Chicago parade in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Cranston, however, never lost his ability to project desperate doom and gloom. He did it in every third episode of Breaking Bad for years, so I can buy it when he sells that a giant thunder lizard is coming to eat our iPads. But more interesting to me is the fact that, when Cranston wasn’t selling not-so-quiet desperation in that TV series, he was showing us a man who would poison a fucking child to get out of a jam. And that is the kind of guy I want to see spearheading the battle against the Gus Fring of giant monsters. Hell, five’ll get you ten that the last scene of the flick is Godzilla coming ashore, only to meet Matthew Broderick in a wheelchair, frantically dinging a hotel desk bell. And then Honolulu will explode.

Why am I ranting about this? Because Warner Bros. just released an extended trailer for Godzilla, with not only more scenes of Cranston acting angrily pathetic, but of the monster fucking up the U. S. Navy. And you can check it out after the jump.

The One Who Knocks: Godzilla Trailer Released

I honestly haven’t given too much of a damn about the upcoming Godzilla reboot coming out this summer, despite a misspent youth spending Saturday afternoons watching Creature Double Feature on Boston’s channel 56. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against giant monsters, but as a child of the 80s who saw The Day After, I knew full well that nuclear radiation wasn’t gonna create a giant lizard, unless you counted the throbbing tumor growing off its neck.

My enthusiasm didn’t grow for Godzilla even as I grew older. By the time I was a teenager, if I wanted to see Tokyo take it in the shitter, I had my VHS dub of Akira. And by the time I hit my 20s in the early 90s, well, the less said about Godzilla in the 90s, the better off we’re all gonna be.

So even when I saw the big off-site Godzilla exhibit with roars coming out of it that you could hear on 4th Avenue outside last year’s San Diego Comic-Con, I didn’t have enough interest to stand in line to see what the fuss was about. So yeah: long story short, I’ve paid so little attention to this movie that I didn’t even know who was in it. Until I saw the trailer that Warner Bros. released today to hype the movie.

And saw that Bryan Cranston is in the movie.

You can check the trailer out after the jump.