Trick Or Treat – The Further Adventures Of Team Logan: Review Of Wolverine And The X-Men #1

Wolverine And The X-Men #1 by Jason Aaaron, with art by Chris Bachalo, brings us the first day of classes at the newly formed Jean Grey School For Higher Learning. Headmaster Logan and Headmistress Pryde have their work cut out for them as they try to balance first day jitters with a visit from the New York Board Of Education. But, they’ve fought the likes of Magneto and Apocalypse in the past, so this new challenge should be a piece of cake, right?

Not so much.

Turns out Wolverine and company might have been better off putting up with Cyclops and staying on Utopia after all.

Spoilers and teenage angst after the jump!

Green Screen: The Incredible Hulk #1 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review is believed to be dead, and it must let the world think that it IS dead, until it can find a way to control the raging spoilers that dwell within it.

I’m probably not the best person to review Jason Aaron’s and Marc Silvestri’s The Incredible Hulk #1, because I am not the world’s greatest Hulk fan. Sure, I read Bill Mantlo’s stuff back when I was a kid, and I watched the Bill Bixby / Lou Ferrigno show religiously, because I HAD to. In the dark, pre-cable days of the late 70’s and early 80’s, if you wanted new genre TV you had two choices: The Incredible Hulk or Struck By Lightning. Well, I guess there was also Bosom Buddies, but technically that’s a whole different kind of genre.

Part of the problem was that, for a very long time, every Hulk story was the same: Banner gets agitated, turns into Hulk. Hulk reiterates a desire to “smash”. Hulk swings tank by gun barrel. Hulk jumps somewhere into Marlboro Country. Hulk relaxes and turns back into Banner. Banner avoids death by dehydration or copperhead bite to find more purple pants just in time to repeat it all again next month.

The last time I was excited by The Hulk was during Peter David’s 1988 Ground Zero arc, when Todd McFarlane was an exciting new artist and not comics’ most notorious ball cupper (What? The man collects baseballs). Because for the first time in my memory, someone was doing something different with The Hulk. He was cunning. He was gray. He LOOKED different. The book was exciting, because it felt new.

Problem is that David opened the floodgates on creative teams making Hulk whatever they wanted to serve whatever story they wanted to tell. In twenty-five years we’ve see Hulk as genius. Hulk as emperor. Hulk as medieval gladiator. Hulk as fucking Mafia enforcer (“Ever since Hulk can remember, Hulk wanted to be gangster. If we wanted something, we just SMASH it!”)

Hulk’s been green, gray and red, and at least one or two other people have been The Hulk. It’s like a stealth Clone Saga’s been going on in Hulk titles for a quarter century. For good or ill, there is no single “The Hulk” of which to be a fan, unless your only criteria for liking a story is “a big muscular dude of color”. In which case, I’m guessing that back in the 80s you were watching Bosom Buddies rather than The Incredible Hulk, but I digress.

This is a whole lot of words to spend on an individual issue of a comic book without addressing the book itself, but the preamble feels necessary, if only to make it clear that I don’t know if I can recommend The Incredible Hulk #1, because it is yet ANOTHER vector on the original story: The Hulk and Banner as separate entities.

Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast Episode 5: The Stroke of Justice

Chest colds gone? Check! Big comics shit to talk about? Check! Clean, sober and ready to put on a professional Internet radio show? Fuck you!

It’s the fifth episode of the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast, where we talk about:

• Marvel’s staffing decisions, or: With Great Responsibility Comes No Salary, or: Trabajará para el alimento!
• Tony Stark: Great Drunk or the Greatest Drunk?
• The killer of Batman’s parents: Great Drunk or the Greatest Drunk?
• Watchmen Sequels: Great Drunken Decision or Drunken Decision?
• Batman: Arkham City: S***faced Batman, and:
• Our sleeper picks of the week, or: Great Drunken Comic Reviews or Fuck You You Don’t Know Me!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 37:56 — 34.7MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | Google Play | Stitcher | TuneIn | RSS | More

Enjoy the show, suckers!

The Best Laid Plans Of Daleks And Men…

Tell me again about the rabbits, George. Say, what's that clicking noi-

Gang aft agley. Or something. Look, I was going to do this whole review on a copy of Journey Into Mystery #626.1 I bought last week. I was going to delve into the psyche of a now adolescent Loki and discuss how great it was that a writer wanted to examine the often strained, acrimonious relationship between Loki and Thor from a fresh perspective. Would Loki still grow up to be a mistrusted and deadly God Of Lies And Mischief if he had the opportunity to do it all over again, growing up this time under the guidance of a much older brother whom he apparently worships? Or would the cards play out the same?

Who knows? I discovered that Journey Into Mystery #626.1 actually came out back in August and, furthermore, Matt Fraction killed off Thor in Fear Itself #7 this past week. So much for my well laid plan. Thanks, Fraction. Thanks, Time. Bastards.

Little Pieces Parts: Fear Itself #7 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review contains spoilers. It’s a comic book where the good guys win. You have been warned.

Fear Itself #7, the ultimate chapter (Except for Fear Itself 7.1, 7.2 and 7.3, and don’t forget the Shattered Heroes followup) of Marvel’s tentpole event crossover of 2011 (Except for Spider-Island and X-Men: Schism), has everything you want from a book like this: a giant fight scene. Costume changes. A major character death. Iconic characters acting all iconic.

Yep, Fear Itself covers all the bases that the granddaddy of all crossover events, Secret Wars, threw down. It checks off all the boxes that Crisis On Infinite Earths put on the checklist. It mixes in all the ingredients that Civil War put in the recipe.

(Rob: Omit needless words. – Amanda)

Fine. It’s fucking formulaic, okay?

The Adventures of Hype Man

Mark Millar’s been teasing this for a while, but it was finally “announced” in the back of this week’s sixth issue of Millar’s and Leinil Yu’s Superior: Millar and Dave Gibbons are going to be collaborating on a comic.

The Secret Service, written by Millar with art by Gibbons, is coming out in February under Marvel’s creator-owned comics Icon imprint. It’s gonna be six issues… and that’s about all we know at this point:

We don’t want to give too much away at this stage… you won’t hear anything else about The Secret Service until the middle of November…

The only other tidbit about the book – and it really isn’t even ABOUT the book – is that Millar is auctioning off the right to name the book’s villain to benefit his former school. Right now that bidding stands at $1,625, which is a little pricey… but totally worth it.

Who wants to kick in a few bucks to make Mark spend 120 pages writing a story about the epic adventures of Grant Morrison?

(via Comic Book Resources)

The Only Thing We Have to Fear…

It is Wednesday, and while we apologize that recent posting and this week’s scheduled podcast have suffered due to a brand-new chest cold (Amanda: Rob, stop pretending your alcoholism is virally related and fetch me more Robitussin), we must still announce the end of our broadcast day for the following excellent reasons:

Now that is a fucking New Comics Day take! We’ve got the final issue of Marvel’s Fear Itself (And associated books like Invincible Iron Man), a new Neal Adams’ Batman: Odyssey, Batman and Wonder Woman #2, Mark Millar’s Superior, and…

…yeah, we got weak and bought Catwoman #2 and Red Hood and The Outlaws #2. Because we’re considering a new feature called Circling The Glory Hole for books that sucked once, to give them a chance to, well, suck or be sucked.

But on the plus side, there is also a new X-Factor and Atomic Robo. Which, if they are found at any glory hole, it is because they need, demand and deserve a blowjob.

And also, we’ve got Justice League #2, which apparently ships every six or seven weeks, making DC’s New 52 more like the New 51.57, which is the kind of math rounding I like, because that makes my wang seven inches even.

See you tomorrow, suckers!

This Is Not The Event: Black Panther #524 Review

And, as often happens, here’s one last review from last week before the comic store opens with this week’s new books…

The Big Two publishers often wonder why so many readers complain about Event Fatigue. Well, here’s the best example I’ve seen of a major self-dickstomping problem with event comics in recent memory.

Last month, Marvel released Black Panther #523.1. The “.1” is meant to indicate that the issue is a self-contained one-and-done tale, unladen by continuity. The “.1” is Marvel telling potential readers that the issue is a safe “jumping-on” point for the book; that if you start here, you can continue reading future issues without confusion.

Black Panther #523.1 was a tight little story about a street-level urban crimefighter and his partner working with, and sometimes against, the cops in New York’s Hell’s Kitchen to apprehend a costumed serial killer. It was dark, moody, and maintained the tone that writer David Liss has been infusing the book with since he took it over after last year’s Shadowland event.

Perfect jumping-on issue, right? Let’s say you read #523.1, liked it, and came back this month to see what happened after last month’s brutal alley brawl. You pull issue 524 off the shelf, hoping for a little of the pulpy action the last issue led you to expect and…

Huh. So Black Panther has six arms now?

Leaked Exclusive(ish) Avengers (Related) Footage!

At last weekend’s New York Comic Con, Marvel Studios debuted the first new footage from the upcoming Joss Whedon-directed Avengers movie to be screened since the official trailer dropped last week.

Before showing the new footage, the panel’s moderator admonished the crowd not to film the footage, with Mark Ruffalo warning attendees: “Don’t make me angry.”

But someone did film the footage…

…or at least we assume that someone did, because people are like that. But no matter how much Irished-up coffee we pour down our heads to make the search longer and more interesting, we can’t find the fucking thing online yet. Sorry about that.

But to appease those who may have wandered here from our dishonest, Google-whoring headline, we do have the new Clark Gregg-starred Phil Coulson: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. short, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Thor’s Hammer, in its entirety, after the jump.

Won’t Someone Please Think Of The Children? – Review Of X-Men: Schism #5 And X-Men: Regenesis

I don’t know if you’ve heard but, Marvel doesn’t do reboots. No, they have their events, goddammit! And they’re going to stick to them, no matter how awful and convoluted they get what. Well, this past week, one of those events, X-Men: Schism, finally came to a head in X-Men: Schism #5 by Jason Aaron, with art by Adam Kubert. By the end of this book, Scott Summers, aka Cyclops, and Logan, aka Wolverine, finally have it out and break up the team with such force and drama as to make Noel and Liam Gallagher look positively civilized in comparison.

Also out this past week was X-Men: Regenesis, a one shot by Kieron Gillen, who will be writing the Uncanny X-Men reboot relaunch. X-Men: Regenesis also features art by Billy Tan. This book gives the reader a look at the behind the scenes arguments, wheedling and general drama that took place as the members of Utopia decide which dad to go and live with. Sure, you don’t need to read both to understand that going forward there will be two teams, one led by Scott and the other by Logan. You can get that from just reading one book or the other, or, you know the internet. However, reading them together, I found, really helped me cement whether or not I was Team Scott or Team Logan.