This Book Is Now About Martians (And Other Aliens): Stormwatch #1 Review

What’s that old saying? “Roofie me once; shame on you. Roofie me twice and I will pistol grip mace bomb you.”? I think it’s safe to say that I approached the new Stormwatch with exceedingly mixed feelings.

I absolutely adored the book when Warren Ellis wrote it and I followed it over into The Authority, although based on this quote I found on The Authority’s Wikipedia page, that book almost didn’t happen:

one of the reasons I turned their STORMWATCH into THE AUTHORITY is that I found out that, despite the fact that no-one was buying STORMWATCH, they kept it going because they liked reading it in the [Wildstorm] office and wanted to keep me employed. And I felt so bloody awful about that, and at the same time had been so struck by Bryan Hitch’s STORMWATCH issues, that the train of thought that led to THE AUTHORITY began.

The Authority limped through many incarnations of writer and artist after the inital Ellis/Bryan Hitch run that included Mark Millar/Frank Quietly, Robbie Morrison/Dwayne Turner, Ed Brubaker/Dustin Nguyen, Grant Morrison/Keith Giffen/Gene Ha…actually it’s around here that I started to tune out of The Authority. I think I might have picked up “The Authority/Lobo” one shots (‘cuz, you know, it’s friggin’ Lobo), but I was pretty burned out on the book. And, it didn’t help that somewhere in this time period Wildstorm tried to relaunch Stormwatch with the blatantly anemic Stormwatch: Team Achilles and Stormwatch: Post Human Division. It’s dead, Jim. Stop being a necrophiliac.

But, back to the actual book.

Bwa-hah-ha-huh?: Justice League International #1 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review contains spoilers.

I love the Foo Fighters, but I have trouble listening to more than a song or two in a row. Because whether it’s on purpose or what I bring to the music as a listener, I very quickly become convinced that every song is Dave Grohl singing about Kurt Cobain. In Your Honor. Friend Of A Friend. My Hero. Darling Nikki. Courtney Love Chokes Pole. Rob Shouldn’t Write Reviews While Drinking. You get the point.

I got the same feeling reading Justice League International #1: almost every panel seemed like it was about the DC Comics reboot.

Look: the first line in the book is:

Confidence in every level of authority is at an all-time low.”

A page later, this exchange between a member of the UN Security Council and head of UN intelligence Andre Briggs happens:

DC Comics’ Electric Dreams

This morning on the Source Blog, DC Comics announced that Justice League #1 and Action Comics #1 have each sold through more than 200,000 copies in less than two weeks and one week respectively, and that Justice League #1 is now officially the biggest selling American comic book of 2011 so far… they key word being AMERICAN. The biggest selling JAPANESE comic being, of course, the million copy selling Tentacle Panty Sniff Party by Kuroda Masato, the biggest name in Manga that I just made up.

In all seriousness, them’s big numbers for DC, and not the only ones: every New 52 book DC released last week is going back for a second printing, and other than Action and Justice League, DC’s got eight other books with sellthrough of more than 100,000 copies.

Which is exciting news for DC Comics and for comics enthusiasts in general; God knows my Local Comic Store Owner – who knows me by name and asks me if I should maybe be eating better or if instead something crawled up my asshole and died – was positively giddy when he confirmed to me last Wednesday that I was FAR from the only customer who asked him to pull all 52 of the new DC books.

And even MORE exciting is that those numbers only count the actual print run; they don’t include numbers from DC’s other big innovation – making every book they sell available for sale digitally the same day they’re available in print! And when you add THOSE numbers in, well… I’ll let John Rood, DC’s Executive VP of Sales, Marketing and Business Development tell you: lay ’em on us, Johnny!

We can’t.

Um… what was that?

Well, That Looks Green. And, Moist.: Swamp Thing #1 Review

Strange things are afoot – and not just at the Circle K. No, all over the world birds fall dead from the sky; bats plummet from cave ceilings; and, fish take a break from fornicating in the ocean to, well, die.

Detective Comics #1: Don’t You Know What The Night Can Do

Tony Daniel draws one hell of a Batman. He’s got some kind of bastardized mixture of 1990’s McFarlane, modern Jim Lee fine line and detail work going that makes things just look exciting and keep the eye on the panel, combined with enough broadly inked, shadowed, Frank Miller-style panels of Batman in silouette that mix together to make an instantly recognizable, iconic style of Batman art. Of all this week’s New 52, Detective Comics #1 is probably my favorite in the art department, which is saying a lot considering this week included work by Rags Morales, George Perez and Yanick Paquette. Then again, considering this week’s art included Rob Liefeld’s Hawk & Dove, Daniel could have drawn Batman as: “>(:|)-<=<” and still not been my least favorite. Seriously, though: I’m liking the look of this book.

Daniel is putting together a pretty solid entry-level Batman plot in this book as well. Make no mistake; for the first 18 pages or so, he’s not exactly reinventing the wheel: Batman feeling tortured by failing to prevent the Joker’s murders, persuing Joker relentlessly only to end chase to save a little girl from danger and evading capture by the police via an attack helicopter chase, all in Batman’s first major story following a reboot, is not exactly groundbreaking storytelling (*cough* *cough* Dark Knight Returns *cough*). But Daniel keeps the story moving along and entertaining, and breaks up what could be considered derivative by introducing the concept that Joker might commit his crimes while naked, which made even this old Batman fan take notice and comment: “AAAAAAAAAAANOOAAAAAWHYYAAAAAAA”.

Woman of Kleenex

DC Women Kicking Ass just released this DC Comics internal promo image by Cliff Chiang for the New 52 reboot of Wonder Woman by Chiang with Brian Azzarello scripts that’ll be released on September 21st:

Does She Walk? Does She Talk? Does She Come Complete?

I will warn you now: as I sit here contemplating Gail Simone’s Batgirl #1, I am full of mediocre Pu Pu Platter and 12 year old Bunnahabhain Scotch whisky. The Pu Pu Platter was to provide grease to medicate myself after reading Batgirl #1 and then trying to solve my disappointment with Jagermeister. The Scotch is, well, I just like Scotch.

I was in San Diego this year at the convention when the decision to give Barbara Gordon her mobility back was formally announced. Now, I liked Oracle and I think that John Ostrander made a masterful use of leftovers by adding a paraplegic Barbara Gordon to Suicide Squad after the events of “The Killing Joke”. However, and perhaps this says something about me, the only incarnation of Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle I actually was ever really attached to was the one embodied by Dina Meyer in 2002’s Birds of Prey. Did I mention I drink? So, I was willing to keep an open mind for the new Batgirl relaunch – if only because I’m fairly certain that Gail Simone’s Batgirl will show up more regularly on my comic book store shelves than J.H. Williams’s Batwoman, which appears every 100 years or so out of the mist like Brigadoon and then fucks off again about as quickly.

Legion Sprocked

ScienceFiction.com has an exclusive preview of the upcoming DC New 52 title Legion Lost #1, written by Fabian Nicieza with pencils by Pete Woods. You can check it out here.

I’ve never been a big Legion of Super Heroes fan; it’s hard to take seriously a group of super heroes that include one who’s power is apparently based on Skittles and the neverending battle with Type 2 diabetes, and many other who were invented by 12-year-olds mailing in character ideas. So while this book is on my pull list for the first issue, it wasn’t one I anticipated adding to my monthly pull list… until I got a look at this page:

Who Wants A Puppy?

DC released 13 new #1’s this week in its effort to reboot the DC universe. I’ve been trying to work through the stack. It’s been challenging; I love comics, but I also love having the opportunity to get up and do things like eat or huck rocks at the neighbor’s kids.

One of the books I’ve enjoyed the most so far has been Animal Man, written by Jeff Lemire (most well known for Sweet Tooth) with art by Travel Foreman and Dan Green. Lemire sets up Buddy Baker, aka Animal Man, as a mostly retired super hero who is now focusing his attention on animal rights activism education. He’s also just finished shooting an independent movie that sounds suspiciously similar to “The Wrestler”, but with more super heroes and less dignity. Despite Baker’s fame and success as Animal Man, there is tension at home. Money is tight; his wife is giving his mixed messages about whether he should continue being a super hero; and, his daughter really wants a puppy. I mean really wants a puppy. More on that later.

When Buddy finally does get to escape the house to go defeat a threat at a local hospital, using his powers come at an unexpected cost:

Do not eat the brown acid.

And then, he comes home and finds out the lengths his daughter will go to in order to have a pet. Plus, mutant powers!

What was most enjoyable about the story is the way Lemire’s storytelling worked in conjunction with Foreman’s penciling to give the whole issue a creepy, otherworldly vibe that was reminiscent of Grant Morrison’s work with the character without being completely batshit whack-a-loon. Furthermore, Foreman and Green’s artwork is a pleasant respite from the pretty to the point of sugar shock art in many of the other books that DC has released in the past two weeks (JL #1, I’m looking at you).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a plate of nachos and this bag of rocks.

Angry Birds

Okay, I’m sure Sterling Gates is a lovely person, and while I’m sure many people have enjoyed his Supergirl comic between 2008 and the New 52 reboot (Besides Brian Wood, but that’s another story), let’s start with a little basic science, shall we?