batman_21_cover_2013I bought Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One, back when it was just Batman #404 through #407, from the spinner rack at my local supermarket for 75 cents a piece.

That story was a stone classic from the word go, right from the first issue, which opened with James Gordon telling us what a hell on Earth Gotham City was, and ending with Bruce Wayne not only bleeding out, but willing to bleed out unless he found some inspiration to make his war on crime more sustainable and effective than just trying to stomp out local goons. You know the images; we all know the images: the giant bat crashing violently through the window, the smile on Bruce’s face, and the bloody hand on the bell to call Alfred, with the caption, “Yes, Father… I shall become a bat…”

I can spin that sequence of panels off from memory because Batman: Year One is Frank Miller, in 88 tight pages, telling one of the greatest Batman stories ever told (on the tails of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, which is the greatest Batman story ever told, and I’ll fight any man what says different), and cementing his position as one of the greatest comic storytellers ever, regardless of any future paranoid writings or rantings.

That was in 1987. It is now 2013, and we have the first issue of Zero Year, written by Scott Snyder, on the tails of Death of The Family, one of the best Batman / Joker stories in recent memory. Just based on the title, Zero Year is meant to elicit in us memories of Year One. And based on the events of this first issue of Zero Year, it covers some, if not all, of the same period of Batman’s career that Year One did.

Look, don’t get your hopes up here. Zero Year #1 / Batman #21 isn’t on the same level as Batman: Year One #1 / Batman #404, and I think we all knew that it wasn’t gonna be. After all, there is only one first love of your life, and when it comes to Batman stories, Frank Miller and Batman: Year One got to anyone old enough to buy comic books with their own money long before Scott Snyder ever put a word in Batman’s mouth. So I could sit here all day and compare the new book – or pretty much any other modern comic book – negatively to the old one, but that really doesn’t matter.

What matters is: does Zero Year #1 hold up on its own as a good Batman story?

A couple of weeks ago, I sat through a handful of Marvel panels at SDCC and learned…not very much. Well, at least not a lot about anything related to the assorted members of the Avengers or X-Men – which was weird, what with the whole panel dedicated to them and their “summer blockbuster” event (yes, those were the, somewhat paraphrased, words of Marvel EIC Axel Alonso). At the AVX panel, much of the time was dedicated to cheerleading, with only modest time devoted to characters and titles. Most of those titles discussed ended up being related to books that will be released post AVX (Marvel NOW!). If Alonso sees the culmination of each year’s storylines as leading into a big summer time event, you’d think he might take a cue from the the actual “blockbusters” (hint – they’re often in Hall H or Ballroom 20 and you have to line up for them the day before…not waltz into them 10 minutes before they start.). Maybe have a panel that is balanced with more writers and artists on it than editorial. Talk about some of the individual books, both team and solo, of characters involved in your “summer blockbuster” in the here and now, rather than in, ahem, Marvel NOW. I’m sure it wouldn’t have killed Arune Singh to maybe take some time out from saying “How many of you love {insert event or movie}?” and get one of the architects on speaker phone, the way he did for the Amazing Spider-Man And Other Stuff That Was Marginally Related To Spider-Man panel we attended the next day. But, who knows? Rumor has it the entire staff of Marvel has to share a single bathroom in their building. Maybe they make him pay for his own long distance?

But what does this actually have to do with Wolverine #309? You’ll find out, with spoilers.

I have said before that the Court of Owls storyline in Batman has followed a familiar and well-trod path that was previously laid down in stories like The Cult: Batman is overwhelmed by an implacable foe and imprisoned. Batman is psychologically broken down. Batman escapes and returns to his cave to cower for a while. The villain that broke Batman begins to run amok in Gotham City. Batman mopes around and listens to The Shins until Natalie Portman teaches him what it’s like to really feel. Wait, something there’s not quite right… I meant Batman returns to his cave and snivels. I think. Maybe. Whatever.

Anyway, Batman #8 continues following that classic old chestnut of an arc by starting the part of the story where Batman locates and reattachs his balls, and begins his counterattack against the villain who broke him. Based on what has come before, both in this story arc and in the similar stories that preceeded and clearly inspired it, this is expected and as predictable as night following day or Natalie Portman being introduced in a meet cute in any movie in which she appears that doesn’t include ballet or lightsabers.

Just because it is predictable, however, does not mean that it is boring. Because Jesus Christ, this is an intense and fun comic book… provided you can stop yourself from saying with every page turn, “I read this when it was written by Jim Starlin, drawn by Bernie Wrightson, and Natalie Portman was meeting cute with French assassins and posssibly the occasional delighted sweaty ‘fan’  in a stained raincoat.”

A cynical man might say that the real story here is: yeah, the price of Batman is jumping up to $3.99. An optimist might say that we’re finally getting some solid background on the Court of Owls, co-written by Scott Snyder and drawn by Rafael Albuquerque. A realist like me might say, “Fuck. Now I have to review two stories every month.”

What are we gonna be forking over twelve and a half cents a page for, Scott?

Chest colds gone? Check! Big comics shit to talk about? Check! Clean, sober and ready to put on a professional Internet radio show? Fuck you!

It’s the fifth episode of the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast, where we talk about:

  • Marvel’s staffing decisions, or: With Great Responsibility Comes No Salary, or: Trabajará para el alimento!
  • Tony Stark: Great Drunk or the Greatest Drunk?
  • The killer of Batman’s parents: Great Drunk or the Greatest Drunk?
  • Watchmen Sequels: Great Drunken Decision or Drunken Decision?
  • Batman: Arkham City: S***faced Batman, and:
  • Our sleeper picks of the week, or: Great Drunken Comic Reviews or Fuck You You Don’t Know Me!

Enjoy the show, suckers!

In March 2010, American Vampire debuted through Vertigo. The premise of the book is that in the United States a new breed of vampire has been born, one with that is faster and more powerful than its European counterpart. It’s also impervious to sunlight. USA! USA! USA!

The first five issues of the series drew a fair amount of buzz because in addition to stories written by creator Scott Snyder, there were also stories written by horror master Stephen King.

The initial arc follows the story of the first American vampire, Skinner Sweet, who was a deadly, notorious outlaw well before he was ever infected with vampire blood. It also follows the story of Pearl Jones, a struggling actress in the era of silent film, who Skinner saves from European vampires and turns into his first progeny. Both sets of stories were drawn by Rafael Albuquerque. Albuquerque’s a man who knows his way around an art panel. His stylized use of heavy contrast shading, mixed with pencil sketches, ink washes and more traditional inking, have given the books a look that sets them apart from other horror comics and helped to win the book IGN Best New Series of 2010 and an Eisner Award for Best New Series this year in San Diego.

Sounds good, right? Well, if for some reason you’re not reading this book yet – say you are from Brockton Mars, or have been trapped under something heavy for the past year and a half – Snyder gives you a great place to jump on with issue #19, The Beast In The Cave. Spoilers ahead.