I’ll Be Back: Dark Horse Reprinting Miller’s And Simonson’s Robocop Vs. Terminator

We’ve talked a lot about Robocop in the past week or so thanks to the rebooted movie version and the associated kinda crappy comics. However, Robocop has long been a subject here; literally in our first week of publication, I wrote a short review of Dynamite Comics’s Terminator / Robocop: Kill Human #2, where I bemoaned writer Rob Williams’s decision to have Robocop scream, “You motherfuckers!” (Shut your mouth! I’m just talking ’bout Robocop…), and pined for the 1992 Dark Horse Comics miniseries Robocop Vs. Terminator, which was written by Frank Miller, drawn by Walt Simonson, and never, ever reprinted.

Well, it seems that all this current excitement about the Robocop reboot (likely to be followed by disappointment, ambivalence, and eventually denial) has lit a fire under Dark Horse, because they have announced that they are finally reprinting the series. And not just in a quickie cash-grab trade paperback version (although as I recall, the story was good enough that even that would be worth your time and money), but in a recolored hardcover edition.

And if that isn’t enough to make you want to shout, “Shut up and take my money!” (which is still closer to authentic Robocop dialogue than Williams wrote in Terminator / Robocop: Kill Human, but that’s not the point), Dark Horse will also be releasing a “gallery edition” of the book, featuring Simonson’s original, uncolored line art.

You Have Suffered An Emotional Shock: Robocop: To Live And Die In Detroit #1 Review

I’m gonna start my review of Robocop: To Live And Die In Detroit by copping to the fact that I haven’t seen the rebooted Robocop movie that this comic book is based on. I probably will at some point, in the same way I saw the rebooted version of Total Recall: on cable while too shitfaced to operate my universal remote.

Look, I have established that I am a big fan of the original Robocop, and that I am not exactly thrilled to see a remake of that classic flick. With that said, I have heard a few decent reviews of the movie from sources I trust, so I don’t want to dismiss it completely out of hand, or allow my instinctive disdain for the idea of a new version of the Robocop character to overly color my opinion about this comic. Sure, the original Robocop was a genius mix of action, violence, satire and humor that I can’t imagine anyone improving on, but I imagine there were fans of Batman & Robin that hated the idea of the stylistic mindfucker who directed Memento sucking all the joy out of Batman. If you are one of those people, I hate you and everything you stand for and, oh yes, I will find you, but that’s not the point right now.

So I will try to approach this comic in the spirit that it really is about a character about which I know nothing. It’s certainly not my Robocop (and make no mistake, it really isn’t my Robocop), it’s just a character about a cyborg superhero working in a major American metropolis. So I tried to treat it like a completely new character, and judge it on those merits.

And on those merits? Yeah, it’s not all that great. Even considering it was impossible for me to really put aside the original Robocop.

Your Move, Creep: Robocop Statue In Detroit

The Crisis On Infinite Midlives main staff has a prior commitment today, and as such can’t spend as much time as we would like today producing the fine content enjoyed by all three of our regular readers, plus the untold thousands who find us via such scintillating Google searches as “Wonder Woman boob grope,” “Joker fucking Harley Quinn,” and “midlevel comic book Web site featuring more than the average number of dick jokes.”

However, we don’t want to leave you emptyhanded on this opening day of Labor Day weekend, so take a look that this account of Detroit’s greatest hope in the face of impending bankruptcy and the shame of being the hometown of Eminem: its own statue of hometown hero Robocop.

An idea that started as a sarcastic tweet in reply to the mayor’s request for ideas to beautify the city, two years and a Kickstarter campaign have conspired to create a giant brass statue of Robocop, which is now in Detroit and just awaiting a site to be finally placed.

So check it out, thanks for your patience, and we should return to our regularly-scheduled programming tomorrow.

They’ll Fix You. They Fix Everything: Robocop: Last Stand #1 Review

Robocop is awesome. Sure, there are a lot of questionable moments in the franchise, like parts of Robocop 2… and all of Robocop 3… plus the entirety of the Robocop animated series… not to mention every instant of the live-action Robocop TV series that was created to keep Orion Pictures from being sold for corporate parts in the mid 90s… but that original Paul Verhoeven flick? I can watch that all day.

Frank Miller, too, is awesome… or at least he was once. Sure, there have been a lot of questionable moments, like Holy Terror… and his film adaptation of Will Eisner’s The Spirit… and whenever he goes anywhere near a device that has an Ethernet port… but all those stories like The Dark Knight Returns, and Give Me Liberty, and Batman: Year One? Miller in the late 80s, early 90s, I can read all day.

Now, Miller famously wrote the original screenplays for Robocop 2 and Robocop 3 in the late 80s, before various studio executives and directors ripped the things apart to turn them into the respective okay and awful movies they became. And for a long time through the 90s, those screenplays were kind of legends in the comics world: Miller, working when he was at the top of his game, on a genre franchise that exploded into a classic right out of the gate.

Almost ten years ago, Avatar Press released an adaptation of Miller’s Robocop 2 screenplay, with a comic script by Two Guns writer Steven Grant, that was pretty solid as I recall, and was a hell of a lot darker than the actual movie. But that still left Miller’s Robocop 3 screenplay floating around out there. And in the meantime, Dynamite Comics got their hands on the Robocop license and put out some books that, frankly, made Robocop 2 look like Godfather 2.

However, the license has now moved to Boom Studios, who has put the band back together with Robocop: Last Stand, an adaptation of Miller’s Robocop 3 screenplay again adapted to comics by Steven Grant. So we’ve got an 80s Robocop story based on an 80s story by Frank Miller. On paper, it’s everything I ever wanted when I was 20 years old… but the question is: is it a classic like I always hoped? Or is it another wretchedly disappointing Robocop comic like every one I’ve read since we started this Web site?

The answer is… neither, really. But it is pretty damn good

Your Move, Creep: Robocop Concept Art Sizzle Video

As you might or might not be aware, there is a reboot of Robocop in production. This is noteworthy for a couple of reasons, as it introduces the character to a new generation of moviegoers, and it marks the first real sign to the world that Generation X is sliding into obsolescence. This is how it starts, kids; I am convinced that we will learn that someone is remaking Pulp Fiction at exactly the same time we are being fitted for our first medical grade bag, or perhaps sack.

We got our first inkling that the remake was coming based on the fake OmniCorp ad for the ED-209 we saw outside the convention center at San Diego Comic-Con in July, and have since learned that it will be directed by Jose Padhila, director of The Elite Squad, about which I can only say: “Huh? I don’t speak Portuguese.” It will star Joel Kinnaman, formerly known for being That Other Cop in AMC’s The Killing, and is due for release on February 7, 2014…

But up until now, that’s about all we’ve known about the flick, other than the fact that new new Robocop suit looks like the old one went on a diet, walked through a vat of flat black Rustoleum, and decided to do himself the kindness of leaving his wank hand handy. However, a marketing reel about the flick has leaked, including interviews with Padhila and Kinnaman and a bunch of concept art.

So does it look like the remake can possibly keep up with Paul Verhoeven’s classic 1987 original? Well, take a look and decide for yourself.

There Will Be Trouble: Robocop: Road Trip #1 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review’s Prime Directives: Serve the public trust. Protect the innocent. Spoil the book.

Dear Marvel Comics: please hire Rob Williams back. His work on Daken: Dark Wolverine was compelling and entertaining. Amanda liked his Ghost Rider a lot. Hell, I think his Classwar is a damn fine book, and that was his first time writing comics. He needs you to give him work. We need you to do it. Because if you don’t give him something to do, he might write some more Robocop for Dynamite Comics, and I don’t think I can bear that.

I’ll start with the positive: this isn’t as bad as Williams’s last run on Terminator / Robocop: Kill Human a few months back. That, however, is not an endorsement; a massive concussion isn’t as bad as an impacted skull fracture, but ain’t nobody lining up for either of them.

Terminator / Robocop: Kill Human #2 – No Directives Found

Back in 1992, Frank Miller and Walt Simonson did a four-issue miniseries for Dark Horse Comics called Robocop Vs. Terminator, where Robocop singlehandedly takes on Skynet for the future of mankind. It was a story by two legendary creators at the top of their game who were immersed in the mythology of both the Robocop and Terminator universes (Miller wrote the screenplays for the movies Robocop 2 and 3). It has never been reprinted.

In 2011, Rob Williams and P. J. Holden are doing a miniseries for Dynamite Comics called Terminator / Robocop: Kill Human, where Robocop singlehandledly takes on Skynet for the future of mankind. It’s a series by a guy who did a pretty good indie book (Cla$$war) nine years ago and a guy who did some Judge Dredd comics once, who apparently have never seen any Robocop or Terminator movies. It will never be reprinted.