Call me a pessimist, but after reading Scott Lobdell’s take on Starfire, Red Hood and Roy Harper in Red Hood And The Outlaws, I wasn’t entirely sure that Lobdell could write his own name correctly without the intervention of special education services. I mean, sure he’s been writing comics for over twenty years, but people also buy art made by zoo animals, so the fact that people kept buying his X-Men titles after Chris Claremont left Uncanny X-Men means they call Marvel fans Marvel Zombies for a reason places a, perhaps, suspect light on the buying habits of Joe Q. Public. However, I found myself pleasantly surprised by Teen Titans #1. Still, I’m going to proceed with caution; it’s just the first issue and we haven’t met all the players, yet.

Teen Titans writer Scott Lobdell, who made a splash in the DC New 52 last week by portraying pre-reboot Titan Starfire as an amoral, cock-hungry nymphomanic, gave an exclusive interview with USA Today yesterday where he described what other… brilliant… plans he had for the rest of the new Teen Titans… wait – old Teen Titans? old New Teen Titans? New new old New… I’ve had a lot of cold medicine, I’d better lie down and let Scott take this:

“It’s designed specifically so that as you’re sitting down to read this book, you’re learning about Kid Flash, Red Robin and Wonder Girl,” [Lobdell] says. “Pretty much what you see on the paper is what we know about them and what they know about each other.”

But… but… wait… so there’s never been a Teen Titans? Right, Scott? Um…

From Red Hood and The Outlaws. Written by Scott Lobdell. LAST. FUCKING. WEEK.

We bought some more bourbon, which means here’s another exciting episode of the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Podcast!

Why “The Knockers Of Justice”? There’s actually a reason this time, and it’s Catwoman and Starfire. Plus, “The T*ts Of Justice” just sounded crass for a family site. F**k you; don’t look at us like that.

Other topics include Nightwing #1, Kevin Smith’s The Bionic Man, and Event Fatigue, or: If Wolverine Begins Fighting Cyclops in Schism at 6 a.m., Stops To Fight Juggernaut in Fear Itself  at 8 a.m. and Arrives To Fight With Spider-Man in Spider Island at noon, At What Time Does Marvel Start To Give a F**k About Continuity?

Plus, here are a few links to items we discussed in the show:

Enjoy! Or at least don’t complain too loudly!

This is the least you'll see Starfire's breasts for the whole issue.  Seriously.18 days ago, when this very Website opened for business, I pointed out that Rob still believes that DC owes him $1.99 because he voted in a phone poll to have Jason Todd killed and they wouldn’t let the fucker stay dead.

I now believe we can tack at least another dollar on to that. That would bring us up to the current cover cost of Red Hood And The Outlaws #1, written by Scott Lobdell with art by Kenneth Rocafort.

This book started with potential. Roy Harper supposedly went to Qurac to help the local populace overthrow their dictator and got thrown in prison for his troubles. Jason Todd travels to Qurac to break Roy Harper out of prison.

Hilarity and a body count ensue. Ok, not really. Just the body count.