Tore Open The Bourbon And Threw Up On The Sash: Stan Lee Reads The Night Before Christmas

It is Christmas Eve, which means if you are anything like we are, you are busy simultaneously hanging your stockings and wrapping your presents, while watching Uncle Pete drink himself into oblivion while screeching about birth certificates and FEMA Camps, wondering if you can hang Uncle Pete and wrap him in a rug.

Frankly, that’s no way to get into the spirit of Christmas! Christmas is supposed to be about childlike wonder, the belief in power greater than your own, and the cosmic awe over the fact that the days are finally about to get longer!

And all those things remind me of comics. So whether you are so devout a Christian that you are considering firebombing your town square’s nondenominational “holiday” display, or a Jew looking forward to Chinese food and Django Unchained, I think we should all come together today and thank the deity of your choice that, if nothing else, we pretty much all have tomorrow off.

And in that spirit, and the spirit of comics, why don’t you and your family huddle around the warm glow of the computer monitor and enjoy Stan Lee, and his rendition of the classic Christmas poem The Night Before Christmas? Maybe it will remind us all that, no matter what our differences, maybe for this one day we can all come together and agree to act in the benevolent spirit of the season, and maybe go see a Tarantino movie and firebomb Uncle Pete together.

Stan the Man is waiting, right after the jump.

Brain Bleach – Naked Stan Lee

Yup. I saw it. I can’t unsee it. Now I’m sharing it with you:

Hey ladies! Check out my Hulk!

You can check out the specifics of why this is a thing that happened over on Sean Howe’s Tumblr. And, you can actually purchase Batman Vs. The Incredible Hulk, which is also a crazy thing that apparently happened, over on Amazon. Most importantly, you can purchase enough whiskey to make you forget that picture over at your local liquor store. I know that’s on my list of things to do right after I hit “post” on this.

You’re welcome.

Everyone Is The Hero Of His Own Story: Stan Lee On Creators’ Rights

History is written by the victors, and Stan Lee is nothing if not a winner.

At least co-creator of Spider-Man, The X-Men and The Avengers and a fistful of other lucrative and profitable properties (as I’m sure they are referred to in the Disney front office), Stan started as a simple editor, moved into writing, somewhere along the line in the 1970s became the head cheerleader for Marvel Comics, both in the comics themselves in his Stan’s Soapbox column and in the mainstream press, and wound up making himself a deal skimming fat bank off of Marvel for not doing much of anything at all… probably because no viable corporation wants their head cheerleader to start yowling “Marvel fucked me without lube!” in the public prints.

So Stan lucked out, put himself into a good negotiating position and Got His. And while I stand by my continuing opinion that any comic creator – hell, any human being – who doesn’t want to get fucked by a major corporation probably should make sure their contract contains an anti-fuckery clause before signing it as opposed to bemoaning it afterwards, I have always wondered how Stan feels about guys like Kirby and Colan and Ditko, who were at the very least in the room when these icons were created, and rather than winding up with cameos in the multimillion dollar movie adaptations instead wound up humping an empty table at Artists’ Alley, a premature coffin, or worst of all, an Ayn Rand novel.

Well, wonder no more… or at least, wonder no more how Stan would kinda deflect the question if he was asked. Because Alex Pappademas did an extended piece that includes a short interview with The Man for Grantland. And that interview includes a question to Stan how he feels about the recent uproar over creators’ rights:

The Man Is Back And He’s Got A Little Something For You – Review Of Stan Lee’s Mighty 7 #1

Stan Lee wants us True Believers to know he hasn’t given up on superhero stories.

In an interview with Lee in USA Today, Stan The Man discussed the inspiration behind his new book, Stan Lee’s Mighty 7, which will be released under the imprint of his new publishing brand, Stan Lee Comics. Stan Lee Comics is the result of a partnership between Lee’s POW! Entertainment, A2 Entertainment and Archie Comics.

Lee bills Mighty 7 as “the world’s first reality comic book” — it stars fictional superpowered characters, of course, but also Archie head Jon Goldwater and “Stan the Man” himself.

“I myself am very modestly a part of the story,” says Lee, adding that real-life celebrities will be making appearances as the story progresses.

The core characters of Mighty 7 are a group of aliens — five “criminals” and the two star marshals who are transporting them through the cosmos — who crash-land on Earth.

The characters are completely new — “Nothing ever kicks around in my head until I have to write it,” Lee jokes — but each one has a different superpower “and a bit of personal problems and prejudices and desires and wants, even as you and I,” says the creator, who teams with writers Tony Blake and Paul Jackson and artist Alex Saviuk.

But, just how original is this new team’s concept, and, is it worth reading?

Spoilers and other dangers, after the jump.

Who Wants To Give The Man A Second Glance

Hi. I'm Stan Lee. Like X-men? Yeah, I thought so. Daddy's got a new plan. I will own your children.

I’m not in New York right now. This bothers me on a certain level. New York Comic Con is in full swing. I’m not there. I’m drinking box red wine and listening to Skunk Anansie on a Friday night. I know one hundred ways to be a good girl, but none of them are putting me in front of comic book creators or cognoscenti right at this very moment. I keep pointing out to Rob that we are a Fung Wa Bus ride and an Avatar Press VIP Package away from rectifying this situation. He points out that he likes his interstate travel to remain upright and cause him to, you know, not die. Also, the cheapest Avatar VIP ticket is $275. Times, well, 2. I’d bring Rob with me, after all. Hello? I have a bar tab two blocks from my house. One block from that is the comic book store. The owner knows us and only mostly never closes early if he notices us wandering down the hill from our place at 6:45 pm on a Wednesday. Based on the motley, rather Mos Eisely like crew already gathered there by the time we make last comic call, most Wednesdays are a kind of impromptu con within staggering distance from where we already live. Why should I feel the need to cross state lines?