The One Who Knocks: Godzilla Trailer Released

I honestly haven’t given too much of a damn about the upcoming Godzilla reboot coming out this summer, despite a misspent youth spending Saturday afternoons watching Creature Double Feature on Boston’s channel 56. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against giant monsters, but as a child of the 80s who saw The Day After, I knew full well that nuclear radiation wasn’t gonna create a giant lizard, unless you counted the throbbing tumor growing off its neck.

My enthusiasm didn’t grow for Godzilla even as I grew older. By the time I was a teenager, if I wanted to see Tokyo take it in the shitter, I had my VHS dub of Akira. And by the time I hit my 20s in the early 90s, well, the less said about Godzilla in the 90s, the better off we’re all gonna be.

So even when I saw the big off-site Godzilla exhibit with roars coming out of it that you could hear on 4th Avenue outside last year’s San Diego Comic-Con, I didn’t have enough interest to stand in line to see what the fuss was about. So yeah: long story short, I’ve paid so little attention to this movie that I didn’t even know who was in it. Until I saw the trailer that Warner Bros. released today to hype the movie.

And saw that Bryan Cranston is in the movie.

You can check the trailer out after the jump.

New Amazing Spider-Man 2 Trailer – More Previously Unseen Footage

This new trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is called “The Rise Of Electro”. It clocks in at just over three minutes long and seems to contain some previously unseen footage. Almost certainly it contains more shots of Jamie Foxx’s Electro in action. However, there are also some great dialogue teasers between Peter and Aunt May about what secrets the family may be keeping regarding the death of his parents. The new incarnation of Harry Osborn comes off as suitably emo and creepy, very much Peter’s opposite. My only concern with this movie is that they’re trying to shoehorn in three villains: Electro, The Rhino, and The Green Goblin. Split focus was a major downfall of Sam Raimi’s final Spider-Man effort, Spider-Man 3. Part of what made the reboot work so well was allowing the story to focus on the battle with one enemy, while the characters were given room in the story to flesh themselves out. I hope this new movie doesn’t give the characters short shrift by trying to stuff too many of them in for the sake of spectacle.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 opens in US theaters on May 2, 2014.

Via Bleeding Cool.

My Name Is Hiro Nakamura. I Am From The Future. I Have A Message For You: Heroes To Return To NBC

So. Heroes is coming back. Yes, that Heroes. On NBC. Network television. That is a thing that is happening. A thing that is strange and unexpected enough that I don’t even have any jokes about it. Yet.

No, I am absolutely not kidding. Stop looking at me like that. What would I possibly have to gain by lying about such a thing? Jesus, we have little enough of a reputation for journalistic integrity as things are now.

No, fuck you. Go ahead and ask NBC:

NBC is bringing back its conquering “Heroes.”

An iconic series that still commands a rabid fan base, “Heroes” will return to the network in 2015 as an event miniseries with original creator and executive producer Tim Kring at the helm, it was announced today by NBC Entertainment President Jennifer Salke.

NBC has ordered 13 episodes for a new stand-alone story arc entitled “Heroes Reborn,” with all details of storylines and characters being kept under wraps.

What could possibly be your motivation, NBC?

I’ll Be Back: Dark Horse Reprinting Miller’s And Simonson’s Robocop Vs. Terminator

We’ve talked a lot about Robocop in the past week or so thanks to the rebooted movie version and the associated kinda crappy comics. However, Robocop has long been a subject here; literally in our first week of publication, I wrote a short review of Dynamite Comics’s Terminator / Robocop: Kill Human #2, where I bemoaned writer Rob Williams’s decision to have Robocop scream, “You motherfuckers!” (Shut your mouth! I’m just talking ’bout Robocop…), and pined for the 1992 Dark Horse Comics miniseries Robocop Vs. Terminator, which was written by Frank Miller, drawn by Walt Simonson, and never, ever reprinted.

Well, it seems that all this current excitement about the Robocop reboot (likely to be followed by disappointment, ambivalence, and eventually denial) has lit a fire under Dark Horse, because they have announced that they are finally reprinting the series. And not just in a quickie cash-grab trade paperback version (although as I recall, the story was good enough that even that would be worth your time and money), but in a recolored hardcover edition.

And if that isn’t enough to make you want to shout, “Shut up and take my money!” (which is still closer to authentic Robocop dialogue than Williams wrote in Terminator / Robocop: Kill Human, but that’s not the point), Dark Horse will also be releasing a “gallery edition” of the book, featuring Simonson’s original, uncolored line art.

Brain Bleach – Quis Custodiet Ipsos Spongemen?

Yeah, so this is a thing that happened.

You wanna see it? Really?

Ok. You were warned. Hit the jump.

I’m Gonna Blow Up The Ark, Rene: Daredevil #36 Review

Editor’s Note: No one on the white hat side has ever hidden his or her spoilers with less than noble intent.

About 20 years ago, I worked in a job that put me in close proximity with many lawyers. And not the kind of lawyers who champion the powerless and regularly make the short lists for major federal benches, but the kind that advertise during the times of day and kinds of shows likely to be shown in hospital waiting rooms. The kind would chase an ambulance, fake a slip-and-fall, and then sue the ambulance. Real lowlives with cut-rate law school diplomas and Rolodexes full of the kinds of doctors who will certify, from their second floor walk-up offices, that their patients have no legs.

One time I saw one of these guy’s clients get busted for insurance fraud after claiming he had permanent debilitating neck pain, and then being caught fronting a thrash headbanger band for a two-hour bar set. I remember another lawyer for whom our standard operating procedure was to immediately counter-sue for frivolous litigation the instant he sent us a letter, not just because he represented the lowest form of Lawrence Brake-Stander, but because he’d lost frivolous litigation lawsuits repeatedly over the years.

Those weasels never got disbarred. In my (admittedly limited) experience, the only way a lawyer gets disbarred is if he wears a mask, but rather than going out to defend the innocent, he uses it to expose himself to the elderly. And even then, they might get a pass for psychological reasons. You know, if they just can find some doctor who will swear before God that, despite all evidence to the contrary, they have a medical condition.

So, while reading Daredevil #36, I had a little difficulty completely believing that Matt Murdock would be disbarred, even considering the extreme circumstances under which he became embroiled in ethics charges. But that’s my problem and not writer Mark Waid’s, who put together a hell of an issue to close out the third volume of Daredevil. This comic doesn’t just shake up the status quo, it puts two into the back of its head… while still remaining somewhat believable and, if you think about it, not being so outlandish that it will completely blow up the character as he has stood for the past half decade or so.

Except yeah: the real New York Bar would just put a strongly-worded letter in his file if he showed up for his hearing sober, speaking English and without the blood of innocents dripping from his Cthuhlu fangs.

Fantastic Four Movie Cast Confirmed; Internet Fanboys Predictably Freak Out Unfavorably

According to Variety, the main cast of the Fantastic Four reboot have been confirmed. Miles Teller has accepted an offer to play Reed Richards. Kate Mara will be Sue Storm. Michael B. Jordan is Johnny Storm. Finally, Jamie Bell is expected to be picking up the role of Ben Grimm. The reboot will be based on the Ultimate Fantastic Four run, which means we can expect that Reed won’t necessarily be the team leader, a role that initially fell to Sue and Johnny’s father in the Ultimate series, who is a professor at a project housed in the Baxter Building for gifted students. If that is the route this story will take, that role has not been cast yet. It would also mean that Reed’s digestive system would be replaced by a bacterial stack that allows him the ability to get nourishment without eating. Just throwing that out there.

Predictably, rabid fan boys have taken to social media to decry the casting of Jordan as Johnny Storm. Johnny is a blond haired white boy in the comics and Jordan is an African American. Jordan previously worked with new FF director, Josh Trank, on the superhero pic, Chronicle.

Further stirring the pot is this little nugget, dropped by the Hollywood Reporter a couple weeks back:

Dr. Doom is said to be the villain of the reboot (the character appeared in Fox’s two previous movies and was played by Julian McMahon). The Hollywood Reporter’s Heat Vision is hearing that the studio is likely to go for a big name and isn’t ruling out switching genders for the role.

So, fan boys are freaking out. I think it’s much ado about nothing. I think the larger gain here is a script that will draw on some of the better comics writing work from Brian Michael Bendis, Mark Millar, and Warren Ellis. Not sure why fan boys aren’t focusing on that instead of whinging because some of the casting doesn’t meet their imagined platonic ideals. Oh wait, yes I do. Because that’s what fan boys do. Get it out of your systems now, kids. You know you’re just going to go see it anyway when it hits the theaters. And you’ll buy and play whatever video game comes out for consoles to accompany it. Just own it and move on with your lives.

The Fantastic Four hits theaters June 19, 2015.

Missing Keys

Normally on a Wednesday, I sit down on the couch in front of my convertible tablet and write about the week’s comics within the context of some other thing that’s happening in our world or the world in general. Unfortunately, the thing that is happening in my world is that Crisis On Infinite Midlives mascot, Parker The Kitten, has fucked my tablet up beyond almost all repair.

Just to type this paragraph, I have needed to learn to pound on the “v”, “x” and space bar due to damage done when Parker knocked the keyboard on the floor, which not only makes general writing difficult, but has totally fucked my ability to complete my Star Trek: The Motion Picture slashfic opus about Sex V’ger.

So this will be a short update – somewhat fitting, as since it is a holiday week in the United States, it is a short work week and therefore a short comic take – but it is Wednesday, which means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

So there are not a ton of new books this week, but there are some good ones. First off, there is the final issue of Mark Waid’s and Chris Samnee’s Daredevil (you know, until it is relaunched, set on the west coast, in the immediate future), the second issue of the Nathan Edmondson-written Punisher relaunch, new issues of Justice League and Justice League of America, and a reasonable amount of other cool stuff!

But you know the drill: before we can talk about any of them, we need time to make the se in the agina!

Er, I mean we need time to read them, and to order a new convertible tablet with a working keyboard. So until that time…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!

And, Here’s The Full Length GOTG Trailer

As promised yesterday, here is the full length Guardians Of The Galaxy trailer:

Initial impressions? I really enjoyed it. It’s got a camp feel that reminds me of Galaxy Quest and teases just enough of Rocket Racoon that you come away curious rather than worried you’re going to see some kind of Space Jam animation overlay. Well played, Marvel!

Guardians Of The Galaxy opens in United States theaters on August 1, 2014.

Update – James Gunn takes viewers through the trailer and discusses some of its highlights over on Total Film:

There is no doubt that the cinematic pinnacle of my career is our cameras circling around a maniacal raccoon shooting a machine gun on the back of a living tree.

Guardians Of The Galaxy Teaser Trailer Now Live, Full Length To Follow

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the full length trailer for Guardians Of The Galaxy is going to debut tonight on Jimmy Kimmel Live, to help lure viewers away from the other Jimmy. Jimmy Fallon will be in the second night of his new gig helming The Tonight Show from its new home in New York City. After assorted celebrity cameos last night from Rudy Giuliani, to Tina Fey, to Joan Rivers, and music from U2, Fallon offers a guest line up tonight that includes Jerry Seinfeld, Kristen Wiig and Lady Gaga. So, I guess the question is would you rather see Lady Gaga or a talking racoon? Or does network television continue to not remember that most of the civilized world has DVRs that can record multiple channels and access to YouTube?

Anyway, in case you are one of those unfortunate souls, to hold you over until then, here is the 15 second teaser trailer for Guardians Of The Galaxy. Enjoy!

Jimmy Kimmel Live starts at 11:35 p.m. EST on ABC if you want to watch the debut of the full length trailer like it’s 2004 and YouTube was a glimmer in a developer’s eye.