Son, We’ve Always Got Room For A Goon

If you’re anything like we are here at Crisis On Infinite Midlives, your day job life is filled with high-tensioned deadlines for shit that was due at the end of first quarter, that is now being shoveled into your lap by your boss who hopes that no one notices that they were asleep at the switch at the end of March… and by “end of March,” we, of course, mean “Secret Service Slush Fund ‘Approved Without Review’ Button” (In the interest of full disclosure, I have been out drinking with 1/3,200 of the Secret Service, and I puked on the sidewalk like I wasn’t being escorted by someone trained to take a bullet for a staggering drunk (Hi, President Bush!)).

But it is Wednesday, which means: fuck all that! Because it is New Comics Day, which means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

But look at that take! There’s The Goon, which makes any week a Goddamned good week. Chuck on top of that an issue of Mark Millar’s Super Crooks, the final issue (Only three years in the making!) if JMS’s The Twelve, and a metric fuckload of DC eighth issues, and we’ve got an interesting week!

But before we can talk about them, we need some time to review them. So until then… see you tomorrow, suckers!

Bald Hulk Is Not A Euphemism: The Incredible Hulk #7 Review

Editor’s Note: Time for one last review before the comic stores open… one chock full of profanity and spoilers. You are warned.

A couple of months ago, the Fox Movie Channel reran the 1990 TV movie The Death Of The Incredible Hulk, which I grabbed on the TiVo because I was a child in the 1970s / 1980s and therefore grew up with the Bill Bixby / Lou Ferrigno television show and have a sense of nostalgia for it. Plus, I possibly hate myself.

Anyway, at the end of the flick, the Hulk suffers some kind of great fall (and yes, that is as specific as I can get. What, you think I watched that pile of shit sober?) and caused the death of Bixby’s Banner. The intention was never to actually kill Banner / Hulk, but instead to set up a future TV movie where the Hulk had Banner’s brain, which was derailled due to Lou Ferrigno’s commitments to sign autographs at regional comic book conventions for nickels, and due to Bill Bixby’s unexpected opportunity to perform in a second banana role to a prostate tumor.

What’s my point? My point is that even ratings-crazy and cocaine “enthusiast” 80s TV executives never intended to kill Banner permanently. And I guarantee you, neither does The Incredible Hulk #7 writer Jason Aaron.