Fishing In Cold Waters: Possible Open Auditions For Star Wars: Episode VII

Things are a little busy here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office today, because, well, we didn’t understand the full range of capabilities inherent in a hot water heater. You see, we thought that all a hot water heater did was to, well, heat water to the state colloquially known as “hot.” We had no idea that they could also blow out an element in a way that resembles a power surge that resets all your home theater components and causes a burning wire insulation smell that makes you think your entire home office is mere minutes from burning to the ground! And even better: it turns out that hot water heaters have good enough programming to do this late on a Saturday night after you’ve had ten beers and are half convinced that the real reason you’re smelling burning insulation is because you’re having a massive stroke!

Anyway, a nice man is ripping out our old hot water heater in favor of one less multi-talented, meaning I only have a few minutes before I have to run back down to the basement and ask him if our sinks should be screaming in this fashion. This is not an activity that the rich and famous have to deal with, so perhaps I will take the opportunity to throw my hat into the ring and audition for Star Wars: Episode VII.