Right after we finished last week’s podcast about the new Godzilla movie (and had about seven drinks), I told Amanda, “You know, back in the late 70s, Marvel had a Godzilla comic where Godzilla teamed up with S.H.I.E.L.D. He might even have fought Doctor Doom.” Amanda responded to this news by putting on her sunglasses, leaning into me like Morpheus hearing about kung-fu lessons, and saying, “Show me.”

So when I went to my local comic store, where they know me by name and remind me that the real Godzilla is larger than I’m implying and that the “nuclear fire” he spits is normally less sticky, I showed her.


But the important part of that sentence is that we were at the local comic store, which means that this…


…means the end of our broadcast day.

And there were a lot of good books this week, like a new Hellboy in Hell, a new Saga, and a new Daredevil… but lets face it: the money shots this week are gonna be the (long-delayed) Forever Evil #7 by Geoff Johns and David Finch, the latest Original Sin by Jason Aaron and Mike Deodato, and MPH by Mark Millar (which I already know will piss me off and force me to say the phrase, “Back in Mike Baron’s run on The Flash, he introduced a drug called Velocity 9 that caused the user to run at super speed…”). But there is, in fact, a bunch of other cool stuff!

But before we can talk about any of them, we need time to read them. So until that happens…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!


It is a strange night here in Boston. For the sports geeks, there is the Boston Bruins battling against the Montreal Canadiens in game seven of a playoff series to see who goes on to play for the Stanley Cup. This is a series that has captured the imaginations of many Bostonians, whether they care about hockey or not… but I am not one of them. I have lived here long enough to understand the long-time rivalry, but my geography will not make me pretend to be a hockey fan. Unlike the Indian kid at the Dunkin’ Donuts I stopped at on the way home from the comic store, who responded to my report that “The Habs are up by one,” with rolled eyes and an exasperated, “I asked about the Bruins / Canadiens game!”

And for the standard geeks, there is the warm glow we are still operating under having seen Agent Coulson use that shoulder cannon to actually wipe out a bad guy in last night’s Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., mixed with the new glow of the season finale of Arrow, which will include the first trailer for the fall debut of The Flash, which we determined during last week’s podcast would be the most likely comic TV show to fail (The 1990 Flash show failed with no genre competition while the comic version was fresh off Mike Baron’s groundbreaking run that made The Flash compelling for the first time in my life, so I can’t imagine a superpowered version of CSI is gonna do much better).

The bottom line is that there is a lot of distracting shit going on this evening. But this is why we went to our local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to stop demanding that all sports be played by athletes with access to the Super Soldier Serum (and with katanas), early. Which means that this…


…means the end of our broadcast day.

Still, there are some solid books in there. We’ve got the second issue of DC’s Future’s End, the first issue of Justice League United, the first issue of Powers: Bureau creative team of writer Brian Michael Bendis’s and artist Michael Avon Oeming’s The United States of Murder, Inc., a new issue of Robert Kirkman’s and Charlie Adlard’s The Walking Dead, and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But you know how it is: before we can address any of them, we need to pretend to know what icing is, that we have hope for The Flash, and still take time to read the books. So while that happens…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!



Our content management system is advising us that we are well behind on regular site maintenance, and it is doing it at a hell of a time: Mothers’ Day is this Sunday, which, despite the number of people who call us “motherless pig dogs,” still requires us to pay tribute to the women who, had they the ability to see 43 years into their future in 1971, probably still wouldn’t have aborted us. Probably.

This means that, if we are going to record a new podcast episode tomorrow, we need to perform these maintenance actions and upgrades tonight and tomorrow morning, so we have time and a stable platform upon which to record, and to give us time to stuff our mothers full of enough steak to forget that they wanted to talk about our siblings and their wills.

So please bear with us while we perform regular maintenance. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.


parker_5_7_2014I fully intended to review the first issue of Original Sin by Jason Aaron and Mike Deodato today – a story about one of the most cosmic of Marvel’s characters being killed by being shot in the face like a common corner dope dealer, drawn by an artist known for going almost photorealistic, is too absurd to not be at least kinda fun – but once again, it was one of those days.

The day started before six a.m., when I was gently roused from sleep by Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office Mascot Parker The Kitten (see above left), who said, “good morning!’ by slapping me awake with paws that really need to have their claws trimmed.

From there, I embarked on a frantic early morning cleanup to clear the decks for the house cleaning service – it sounds counter-intuitive, but if you don’t pick up, the maids will clean around the empty beer bottles, which would mean that we would have paid a hundred clams for a stranger to scrub a single square inch near the coffee table.

Then there was a good hour trying to distract the cat from the maids’ vacuum cleaner by gently massaging the tips of his claws with my hands, wrists and face. Then off to the day job, where I tried to convince a SQL database that I was its master by attacking it with my hands, wrist and face. Then, since my co-Editor Amanda is working late again, it was home to amuse the cat in a surprisingly familiar fashion (I’m in constant, terrible pain!) and by that time, well, things had gone sideways on me.

But there was a brief window in there where there was a trip to the local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to stop accosting the paying clientele with woeful tales of pussies and gashes, And that means that this…


…means the end of our broadcast day.

And this was one of those weeks at the comic store where it looks like it’s gonna be a light week when you look at your pulls, but once you do a lap of the shelves, you discover you’ve grabbed about five pounds of comics. We’ve got Original Sin #1, Miles Morales: The Ultimate Spider-Man #1 (marking the fourth reboot of that title since 2000, and the second since this Web site started in 2011), a new issue of Miracleman (now polybagged due to adult content, marking a depressing step backwards since the book was originally published by Eclipse in the 80s), a new Moon Knight written by Warren Ellis, and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But you know how it is: before we can talk about any of them, we need time to disinfect these damn wounds, and then we need time to read them. So until that time…

…see you tomorr-OW! Dammit, Parker!


Yeah, so, long story short: there’s no podcast tonight. Life got in the way again, and we have learned that we simply need to record this thing on Sundays… and to plan our Sundays to make sure we can record them. Because terrible distractions happen on weekdays. Distractions like day jobs. And the cat. And the day job of the cat. Which is also a night job. And an afternoon job. Parker The Kitten is a cruel and unforgiving taskmaster, is what I’m saying.

So throw today’s travails on top of the fact that we will be unable to tape tomorrow because we will not only be attending an advance screening of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, but we will be attending it with the owner of my local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to remember that not everything that shoots sticky goo is a “web shooter”, and it looks like there won’t be a new show until this weekend.

So we feel shame that, not only are we a week behind in our podcast, but we are so under the gun that we don’t have time for a new comic day review. But there are new comics today, which means that this…


…means the end of our broadcast day.

But there are some long awaited comics in that pile, man. We’ve got the first Peter Parker-headed comic book since 2012 in The Amazing Spider-Man #1 (not the particular comic book with that number I’ve wanted since I was five years old, but still very, very decent), the official return of Wally West to the DC Universe in The Flash Annual #3, a new issue of Dream Police by J. Michael Straczynski, which is the sequel to a 2005 one-shot drawn by Mike Deodato that was powerful enough that I literally got chills when I saw this new issue almost nine years later, a new issue of Kieron Gillen’s Uber (which, after the last issue, I could not wait to see), and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But you know the drill: before we can talk about them (and we will talk about them in a podcast this weekend, along with the Star Wars casting and possibly the new Spider-Man movie), we need time t read them. So for now…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!


Most of the staff of Crisis On Infinite Midlives is traveling today, and disturbed to find ourselves in a place with a drought of Internets.

I am posting this from my phone, in the very, very sketchy 1G sticks of northern New England wireless connectivity. If you can call it that.

We will be back in service tomorrow with photographs of our adventure, and will then resume our regularly scheduled programming.


I know that we have posted fresh comic reviews on Wednesday nights for the past couple of weeks, but things are a little different this week. First off, I have spent a large part of my week’s free time dealing with my insurance company and my auto upholsterer, trying to coordinate when I can get my recently-vandalized convertible roof repaired. I have done this all while staring down the barrel of our long awaited semiannual pilgrimage to the American Classic Arcade Museum at Funspot in Laconia, NH to play Tron until I make my inner 12-year-old look like a bitch by making it through the third rack as a 42-year-old. Further, this is the first time this regular trip requires us to interview and employ a catsitter to care for Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office Mascot Parker The Kitten.

Overall, it means that this has been a busier-than-usual week for us. Which further means that we decided to celebrate a week’s worth of new comics with a pile of beers at the bar next to our local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to stop talking about our new pussy unless we have high definition photographs of it to share.

This combination of events means that we are not operating at our full capacity. But it still means that we have new comics. Which means that this…


…means the end of our broadcast day.

But there are some good books in that pile. We’ve got the final issue of Robert Kirkman’s All Out War storyline in The Walking Dead (where, if there is a story God, Negan will finally suck the pipe), the first issue of Marvel’s Original Sin, Flash #30 (which supposedly features the long-awaited return of Wally West to the New 52 universe), Batman: Eternal #3 (which allegedly does the same for Stephanie Brown), an issue of Guardians of The Galaxy written by Brian Michael Bendis with art by 80s Justice League artist Kevin Maguire, and a bunch of other cool-looking stuff!

But you know how this works: before we can talk about any of them, we need time to talk to insurance companies, get the cat used to being fed by a stranger, and then to read the books. So until that time…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!


Famous last words:

But before we can talk about any of them (and with God as my witness, we will try to talk about some of them), we need time to read them…

Yeah, that didn’t work, Make no mistake, there were some damn good comic books in the take last week – seeing the apparent return of Peter Parker in The Superior Spider-Man #30 was one of the more thrilling moments I’ve seen in a comic recently, so a high-five to writers Dan Slott and Christos Gage, and to Guiiseppe Camuncoli for that closing splash page – but good planning thwarted by an unexpected extended stay in a hospital emergency room put the skids on our ability to review any comics for the umpteenth week in a row.

Which is not a thing that we are proud of, and yet this week may not be any better. We already have scheduled a check-in visit with the person we spent last Saturday waiting on in the ER, and there’s the small matter of finding time to see Captain America: The Winter Soldier sometime before the weekend concludes. Plus, we’re still working on the capital improvements to the Home Office we recently mentioned that have been delayed by watching the incontinent gobble Jell-O, and as we speak our mascot, Parker The Kitten, is distracting my co-Editor Amanda by demanding she allow him to chase around a toy mouse on a wire, under the implied threat that otherwise he’ll chew all our electrical wires, leading to the discovery of a dead cat in a burning house.

But still, we promise to try. Because it is Wednesday, which means a clean slate. Unfortunately, it also means that this…


…means the end of our broadcast day.

And even though it is a somewhat light take this week, there are some winners in there. There’s the 200th overall issue of Ultimate Spider-Man, written by Brian Michael Bendis with at least some art by Mark Bagley just like in the old days, a new issue of Action Comics (which has become actually really good since Greg Pak took over writing duties, the first issues of Inhuman and Aquaman And The Others (for some reason), and a bunch of other cool-looking stuff.

But before we can even think about talking about any of them, we need to calm this Goddamned cat down and eventually read them. So while we try to accomplish that…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!


Due to an unforseen emergency, we are currently at a hospital, awaiting a family member’s discharge. So no new content today, unfortunately.

We should return to our regular broadcast schedule tomorrow.


Wait – it’s been how long since we posted a comic book review? Jesus, we suck.

Well, we do suck, but there are a few reasons for that… none of which we are ready to tell you about at this time. All we are prepared to discuss is that our plans require a certain amount of capital improvements to the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office, which recently has been taking about eight hours a week in just raw animal labor, not counting planning and researching for when that raw animal labor is finally done in a few weeks. And when you combine that effort and planning with a couple of 40 hour a week day jobs, plus care and feeding of Home Office Mascot Parker the Kitten, it makes it hard to sit down for the two to three hours it normally takes us to spit out the 1,000 words it usually takes us to say, “That was terrible!”

But with all that said, we are not prepared to announce, make, or intimate anything different about the Web site at this time. And this is one of those weeks where there is a metric assload of new comics, so I swear to you: we will try like hell to review at least one or two of them.

But the big takeaway of that statement is that there are new comics. Because it is, after all, Wednesday, which means that this…


…means the end of our broadcast day.

But there are some really killer books in this week’s take. There is the obvious second issue of Neil Gaiman’s and J. H. Williams III’s The Sandman Overture (only about four months late!), the fifth issue of Brian Michael Bendis’s and Mark Bagley’s Brilliant (only about so late I can’t remember when the last issue came out!), a one-shot about Amanda Waller by Skullkickers writer Jim Zub, the fourth reprint issue of Miracleman, and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But before we can talk about any of them (and with God as my witness, we will try to talk about some of them), we need time to read them. So until that time…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!