San Diego Comic-Con is only six-ish weeks away, which takes it out of the ephemeral realm of “some thing I’ve been planning to do for 45 weeks” and puts it firmly in the area of “something concrete to look forward to other than the sweet, sweet release of death.”

That’s right: only six weeks before the biggest pop culture event of the year, with exciting comics news! Unparalleled access to the biggest comic creators and TV and movie stars! And random stops by red-shirted security goons, stopping you on your way to a photo op with a fat dude dressed as Batwoman, to ask for your papers.

Wait, what?