didio_headshotSo if you’re home sick, unemployed, or nursing your methamphetamine habit in front of daytime TV today, here’s a thing that’s happening: Co-Publisher of DC Comics, will be appearing on The View today.

Is he appearing to pitch something specific coming from DC? No, although DiDio’s obvious abilities as a pitchman that he shows at conventions will probably allow him to drop some hype. Is he attending to hype up the Batman Vs. Superman movie? No, although if he doesn’t take the opportunity to mention it given that filming on the flick reportedly starts this weekend, it demonstrates that he might be nursing a methamphetamine habit.

No, instead he is going on The VIew so that Whoopi Goldberg can pitch him on a comic series. Based on herself. Only with superpowers.

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So apparently Whoopi is a big comic book fan – not surprising, since the rumor back in the 80s was that she asked to join the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation due to being a big sci-fi fan. But who knew that she was a big enough comics geek to have attended last weekend’s New York Comic Con not for purposes of cosplay (which would have been awesome: “Look, mommy! It’s Zombie Guinan!”) or to beef up her personal comic collection… but to pitch a comic book around.

I was pitching a comic book that I’m hoping to do… I’ve been a comic book kid all of my life… One of those things you don’t see is … comic book heroes, female, with any hips, you don’t see them over 12 years old, maybe something sagging a little, nothing is ever moving. So I’m working on something that will alleviate that … It will be me (as a superhero) … I do look like a comic book hero and I love that.

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Look, I’ve got nothing against Whoopi Goldberg (Well, not much. She knows what she did. Burglar at the local multiplex in 1987, Whoopi: the girl was horrified and I didn’t even get a handjob for my ten bucks plus popcorn. You will pay for your betrayal. That is all.), and I respect any movie star who, at the height of her fame and professional pull, uses it to get herself onto a syndicated sci-fi show just because they love the story. And keep in mind that she did this in the 80s, long before movie stars did TV shows as vanity Emmy bait.

But comic books based on celebrities never work, Whoopi! Rosario Dawson’s O. C. T. only did four issues (although last year there was TV interest in the property because hey: Rosario Dawson). Thomas Jane is a big enough comic geek that he not only starred as The Punisher in the first movie (That’s right, Dolph Lundgren, nobody likes you), but in a self-produced fan film of the character, and yet his Raw Studios comics haven’t exactly set the world on fire.

And when it comes to superheroes who aren’t wasp-waisted with tits that could cut diamonds, well, Goldberg has a point. There is probably a market for a normally shaped female superhero (although allow me to submit that all we fat guys have is Bouncing Boy and The Blob)… but God help me, when I read about a normally-shaped superhero who, as pitched by a comedian, will likely be played for laughs? All it made me do is want to dig out my trade paperback of Garth Ennis’s and Amanda Conner’s The Pro.

Ah well. Regardless of the nature of the pitch, DiDio will be on The View at 11 a.m. Eastern Time. Time your amphetamines wisely.

(via Robot 6)

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