Peter Cannon, Human Centipede: Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt #1 Review

Here’s one of two things what I knew about the character Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt before I picked up the new Dynamite Comics first issue of his new book: he was the only Charlton superhero that DC Comics didn’t ever even try to give a shot in the DC Universe after they bought the Charlton rights back in the 80s. They even gave fucking Judomaster a shot in the Outsiders book a few years ago, and Judomaster is what you get when someone needs a superhero concept by noon: “He’s a master of judo. Boom! Judomaster. Now give it to some artist to slap a Japanese flag on his chest and fetch me more bourbon.”

The other thing I knew about Peter Cannon was that he was the character upon whom Alan Moore based his Watchmen character, Ozymandias. And Ozymandias was a rich dude with an Alexander The Great fetish who used his smarts to gin up a weird master plan to trick the Great Unwashed into chucking their nuclear weapons to protect themselves from some other-than-natural monster. Of course, the original Thunderbolt couldn’t possibly be like that… and having read the backup story in Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt #1, written by the character’s creator, Peter Morisi, back in the 80s, he wasn’t.

However, having read the main story, written by Steve Darnall and Alex Ross with art by Jonathan Lau, he apparently is now.

We Can Rebuild Him: The Bionic Man #2 Review

And, as is becoming a tradition, one final quick review from last week before the comic stores open for New Comics Day…

“I know Steve Austin is going away… but I’ll never forget him.” That, as my parents are fond of reminding me, is what I said about the cancellation of The Six Million Dollar Man. They also like to remind me that I was crying and cuddling my Steve Austin action figure when I said this. I was 24 years old.

Just kidding. If you were of an age and a type to be predisposed to liking comic books in the late 1970’s, The Six Million Dollar Man was required viewing. And I know that Time / Life’s released the entire four-year run of the show on DVD, but I’ve resisted dropping the cash or looking for rips online because no matter what nostalgia I feel for the show, I know that if I watch it now, it will suck out loud. It’s one thing to nostalgically go, “Bin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin-nin…” under your breath when you lift a heavy box. It’s quite another to sit down to watch a show where you know full well that you will see Steve Austin befriend Bigfoot, and worse: William Shatner.

And yet I’ve been picking up Dynamite Comics’ modernized adaptation of the story, The Bionic Man, written by Kevin Smith and Phil Hester and drawn by Jonathan Lau… and I am HOOKED.

Don’t misunderstand me: there is no objective reason for me to be into this comic. Smith is indulging in the worst form of decompressed storytelling, as he did in Batman: The Widening Gyre when he took six issues and 120ish pages to say “And one time? Batman peed in his pants.”