Considering we here at Crisis On Infinite Midlives are still waiting with bated breath to book the room of our choice for San Diego Comic-Con 2012, I would like to inform you that there is, as of yet, no word on when convention hotel sales will start, and that you shouldn’t bother looking, and to go fuck yourselves besides.

However, Amanda reminded me that we at least pretend towards things like “journalistic integrity” and “simple human compassion,” so I guess I need to tell you that it all starts Thursday, March 29th, at noon Eastern time. You can book your room via the Comic-Con hotel page, or via  phone at 1-877-55-COMIC. Although if you love me, you won’t.

Being a member of Generation X rather than Generation Y, the extent of my relationship with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is that it was an interesting little indie comic that effectively satirized Frank Miller’s ninja-focused Daredevil comics. So, not being of the appropriate demographic to have a feeling toward the classic TMNT children’s cartoon beyond it being that thing I watched sometimes when I was too hungover in college to change the fucking channel, I am not consumed by the sense of impending doom that some are feeling over the news that Michael Bay is producing a new TMNT movie.

However, being an American citizen in the early 21st century, I understand that Michael Bay has the reverse Midas touch; everything he touches turns awful. He made the Transformers – fucking toys, fer Christ’s sake – look shallow. He made Armageddon, and soon after the United States cancelled its manned space program. I am surprised that, in the wake of Pearl Harbor, that we didn’t retroactively lose World War II.

So I feel your pain… as does Conan O’Brien, who produced the short clip of “exclusive” footage of the upcoming Bay TMNT flick that’s actually quite funny, and which you can watch after the jump.