Don’t Call It A Comeback Or A Reboot, Just A Cynical Marketing Move – Review Of Iron Man #1

A fabulously charming, billionaire, genius playboy walks into a bar with a hot air-headed blonde and a cold drink. The playboy says, “I have a lust for life that, when viewed from a distance is almost indistinguishable from a death wish.” The punchline? The cold drink is water because the playboy is an alcoholic, so he has to tolerate the blonde while sober. Also: the scene is drawn by Greg Land.

Iron Man #1 is written by Kieron Gillen. He is a man who knows his way around a solid, nuanced story, as anyone who has his recent work on Journey Into Mystery can attest. However, Iron Man #1 – titled “Demons And Genies”- appears to be, at the outset, more concerned with reestablishing plot points from earlier stories, such as “Demon In A Bottle” and “Extremis”, than breaking any new ground. So, yup – not a reboot. If anything, it’s taking Warren Ellis’s “Extremis” story and reminding the readers, “Hey, remember when storylines were fresh, new, and exciting? This isn’t one of those times. But don’t sweat it reader! We’ve got an app to fix that. Just view the selected panels through your smartphone using our Augmented Reality program and you’ll forget that what you’re reading breaks absolutely no ground at all!”

Probably not a good thing, right?

More blasts from the past, and spoilers, after the jump.

So, what happens in this issue? Tony Stark gets a text message from Maya Hansen, creator of the nanotech program, Extremis, that her creation, which rebuilds the human body into a super weapon, is loose again in the world. Also, she’s dead. Tony has to forgo hooking up with a hot blonde to track down the Extremis tech at a super secret villain auction held by AIM. Tony is easily able to sneak into their auction by shaving off his beard and mustache. Yes. This is a thing that happens. Furthermore, despite the fact that it’s the 21st century, AIM baddies still dress like beekeepers on steroids. All that supervillain money, and AIM can’t come up with a costume that provides for at least 180 degrees of vision. It’s like they want to lose. Tony fights the bad guys (who do at least take off the stupid beekeeper helmets to throw down), hands their asses over to SHIELD, and then sets off looking for the remaining Extremis tech still out and a danger to humanity. It’s a neat set up that reestablishes Tony, his strengths, his vices, and prior history. So, what’s the problem?

The cynic in me can’t help but notice that this story, with its emphasis on important plot and character points from those earlier arcs, is dropping nicely into the marketing run-up to the debut of Iron Man 3, which will also include Extremis in its storyline as well. Don’t know what Extremis is? That’s ok. If you read Iron Man #1, Gillen will spell it out for you in detail and then editors will point you to all the trade paperbacks that will get you caught up in the finer points of the backstory in a giant advertorial on the last page of the issue. The move felt calculated and heavy handed; I came away from the issue, particularly with the “Please! Please! Buy these trades we reference in this story!” ad in the back, feeling more that I was being sold more goods than told an engaging story, not how I want to feel when I’ve finished reading a story.

Also: Greg Land art. G.Land. Gland and the glands he loves to draw. Beautiful to look at (if you like your art to be lightboxed porn and tv actresses and Iron Man cosplayers), but static as all fuck. On the upside, Land seems to be experimenting with drawing facial expressions on his ladies that deviate from “O face”. Behold “pouty duck face”:

That all right. You pout all you want, Pepper. I’m getting blown under this table RIGHT NOW!

Still, Land tends to fall back on his general desire to let the letterers express the emotions of his women while he focuses on the important stuff.

“My bosoms are very sad to see you go, Tony. I’m glad I got the money upfront.”

Even Land’s action sequences suffer from the need to put Iron Man in a striking pose over conveying the action. This is a character that can kick a lot of ass. Therefore, I want to see him kick a lot of ass, not stand there and fucking preen so Land can draw a pretty picture.

Yes, yes – you’re very smart and look wonderful. Now please *do* something.

Overall, this book was a disappointment. I’m not the kind of person who bothers with the AR stuff, because I’m also not the kind of person who really gives a shit about commentary tracks or 3D viewing on my blu-rays – so no points scored there. Individual panels looked striking, if not particularly inspired on Land’s end. Gillen’s story reestablished old plot points in a new story just in time to market the character in preparation for Marvel’s third Iron Man movie. I’ve enjoyed Gillen’s work in the past, so I’m hopeful that down the line we’ll see a story that lives up to his writing potential, rather than the reheated leftovers, both in story and art, that readers were served in this issue.