guardians_of_the_galaxy_1_CoverHere’s the problem with having been six years old when Star Wars was released in theaters: I’ve never really given that much of a damn about Guardians of The Galaxy. Yeah sure, Guardians of The Galaxy debuted in 1969, but that was before my time, and by the time Marvel really started to whip them up was in Marvel Presents right around the origina Star Wars release, and if you’re six, who’re you gonna pay attention to? The guy with the full color lightsaber? Or the talking raccoon with a gun (and before you ask, no, even at six or seven, I didn’t buy into Jaxxon, either)?

But regardless, Marvel Studios in its infinite wisdom has decided to make Guardians of The Galaxy into their next big tentpole property, which means that Marvel is releasing a new book starring the team, written by Brian Michael Bendis with pencils by Steve McNiven. And Marvel just hosted a liveblog with those guys to talk about what they have planned for the property. And I tried to get myself excited about the prospect, even though it features a guy who calls himself Starlord without a whiff of irony, and a creature that calls itself Rocket Raccoon, which is roughly analogous to me calling myself Lumbering Whiteguy.

And I’ll be damned if it doesn’t sound like they have some cool stuff planned for the project.

If you’re looking at Earth in the Marvel Universe from a distant [sic], it looks like an insane asylum! It’s a place where the Phoenix Force doesn’t destroy the world, where Galactus doesn’t feed. It’s the scariest place anywhere to the rest of the galaxy! Wait until Earth joins the cosmic community…

Go on, Mr. Bendis…

The threat of the first arc is that the Spartax Empire is an empire of conquerors, and the Earth is the sexiest jewel in the galaxy. There will be a lot of complicated plays for Earth, you can’t just come in and invade it if Galactus, the Phoenix and the Skrulls couldn’t do it. They have to be smart. That includes manipulating Starlord and the Guardians into a place where they won’t be an issue.

Okay, as premises to fit a bunch of spacefaring adventurers into the general Marvel Universe’s goings-on, that’s a pretty decent one. Although there has to be some other way to make the team fit more seamlessly into the day-to-day events of the 616 Universe…

When you see what’s coming to the book in its second arc, you will be shocked. The fallout from Age of Ultron lands directly in this book.

Okay, being a part of the next big crossover should help cement their place in regular Marvel Comics. And that should be enough. That’s plenty. Nothing more needs to be done to make them fit in. Right, Bendis?

Iron Man joins the team right from the get go, which is exciting and show that the Guardians are really the cosmic Avengers.

Really? Iron Man? I guess that fits with the conclusion of Matt Fraction’s Invincible Iron Man, where he had Tony Stark go into space, but… Iron Man is already in The Avengers, The New Avengers, and The Ultimates. Does he really need to be on another team? I swear to God, it feels like we’re about two down sales months away from seeing Tony Stark join One Dimension, or perhaps the Hare Krishnas.

The transcript of the entire liveblog is still at the Marvel Web site, but we’ve cherry-picked the pieces of Steve McNiven art debuted there, which you can check out, well, now.

Guardians of The Galaxy debuts with a Point One issue in Feburary.

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