52 Problems But A Goon Ain’t One: The Goon #39 Review

The Goon #39 makes a savage mockery of just about every major superhero comic, and superhero comic creator, of the past five years. It skewers everything from DC Comics’s New 52, to Geoff Johns’s Blackest Night arc in Green Lantern, to Spider-Man’s constant sad-sack internal monologues, and it kicks the shit out of every major – and minor – comics artist that had put pencil to paper (or, apparently, mouse to pixel) since 1986. In short, it denigrates every trope of the superhero comics that I have loved since I was five years old.

And it is fucking awesome.

You might notice that this review doesn’t contain a spoiler warning. That’s because there is no story here to ruin. This is one of writer / artist Eric Powell’s one-off issues that serves no story nor history of The Goon. It is simply a brutal takedown of superhero universe reboots and the tricks that the Big Two Publishers use to whip fanboys like me into a frenzy, and to sleaze mainstream media interest in comics (Example: The Goon is killed, and brought back to like, three times in this issue. On one page. Your move, Matt Fraction).

If you’ve seen it in a superhero comic in the past 20 years, this issue has it… and takes a hilarious, steaming dump on it (not literally… but only barely. Ask Yellow Goon, whose power is an overactive prostate). Giant, exciting detailed splash pages? Check… along with a big caption explaining that artists draw those pages for their resale value on Artists’ Alley, and because doing one drawing is an easy way to make your page count.  Highly-detailed backgrounds? You bet… along with a caption describing how many artists achieve them by whipping them out in Photoshop and lightboxing the printouts. Turning characters gay to attract controversy? Hell yes.. only unlike most books that try the trick, this one also serves up actual man-on-man action. Disturbing man-on-man action. It’s not graphic… but it’s graphic enough that I now suspect Franky’s eyes are all-white due to some form of glazing, if you get my drift.

Throughout the issue, Powell mixes up his art style to mimic some of the more famous – or infamous – artists of the recent past. As each tiny internal reboot occurs in the issue, he switches up his look, from a vaguely Kirbyish look, to a heavily cross-hatched Liefeld (right down to the deeply-shadowed and hidden feet), right into aping a McFarlane silhouette action shot. And the parody scenes are all done in a bright and primary-heavy color pallate, which is in stark contrast to his normal muted color scheme (which he still uses in the lead-in and end of the book for the “real” Goon and Franky). Visually, it is effective and evocative parody… but did he have to get so detailed on the gay stuff (Short answer: yes; how better to sneer at the normal superhero gay character, whose expression of sexuality is normally limited to saying “Hey! I’m gay!” while Joe Quesada drafts the press release to the New York Post?)?

If I have a criticism of this book, it’s that Powell repeats his punchlines in a few places. We get the sound effect caption “Dooosh!” what feels like about thirty times, and at least two instances of the old, “This noun isn’t gonna verb itself,” gag. This, however, is a small price to pay in order to learn in other jokes exactly how much time comics artist spend surfing for porn, and how much of that time is devoted to animal pornography.

This is not a long review, but that’s because it doesn’t need to be. If you like superhero comics? This is effective parody of familiar stories that will appeal to you and you should buy it. Hate superhero comics? This validates your feelings of superiority by satiring repetitive and childish superhero stories and you should buy it. Like comedy? This comic book is balls-out funny and you should buy it.

Bottom line? Go buy this comic. Buy two and get one slabbed! That’ll make Powell’s head fucking explode… but the extra revenue will mean he never needs to turn Franky into a secret gay cosmic villain, and his catchphrase will never change from “Knife to the eye!” to “Noun to the eye!”

Or, given some of the jokes in this issue: “This dick isn’t gonna suck itself!”