Very Krutacking Decent: Guardians of The Galaxy #1 Review

Let’s stop for a second and remember that, back before the turn of the century, Guardians of The Galaxy writer Brian Michael Bendis got his start writing small-scale indie crime comics. There was Jinx, about a small-time bounty hunter, and Goldfish, about a small-time grifter, and Torso, about a real small-time serial killer (yeah, his victims would probably argue the “small-time” point, but let’s face it: “The Cleveland Torso Murderer” ain’t no Jack The Ripper. That name sounds dangerously close to “The San Diego Goofball”). When he moved into superheroes, it was Powers – more about a couple of street-level detectives than about superheroes – and then Alias and Daredevil for Marvel – again, street-level, crime-based superheroics.

It’s easy to forget now how nervous many of us were when Bendis took over Avengers back in 2004, because there was just no indication that the guy could really handle anything beyond street scumbags bullshitting each other, or maybe a mildly depressed former superhero taking it in the corn chute from a 70’s B-Lister. But if you take a step back and really look at Avengers Disasssembled, part of why it works is that, at it’s lowest level, it’s about a depressed woman who is lying to and betraying everyone in sight to hide her most personal shame. That’s a noir femme fatale story right there… sure, one that includes Hulks and exploding arrows, but a femme fatale story nonetheless. Bendis found the street-level story in the superhero epic, and made it pretty damned good.

So it has been a long ride for Bendis to go from giving us stories about no-hope dickheads running the Three Card Monty scheme in Portland to a story about the son of a planetary king and his alien buddies trying to defend the Earth from alien invasion. But the good news is, it generally works. If you’re a fan of Star Wars or the rebooted Battlestar Galactica, you’ll find some good stuff to like in Guardians of The Galaxy #1.

You’ll find those things because they are really damn reminiscent of those properties, but still: they are there.

Dickpunch: Avengers Vs. X-Men #10 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m just going to spoil the Earth, like Kane from Kung Fu.

Even if Avengers Vs. X-Men goes the way of such other luminary comics crossover events as Contest of Champions, Atlantis Attacks, or Heroes Reborn, meaning in order to remember it one needs to find it on Wikipedia, it will have accomplished one thing that no other event in Marvel Comics history has accomplished, and which is long, long overdue.

In issue ten, it showed Cyclops getting the everfucking shit kicked out of him while a baldheaded nerd points and laughs, and the he goes running for his Mommy. Well, not exactly, but close enough to make me giggle myself into a halfway decent erection.

Yes, I hate Cyclops just that much.