Marvel Studios’s Avengers: Infinity War opened last week and scored the biggest box office opening weekend of all time. It pulled in about $640 million in four days, meaning that, at around $15 per ticket, it was seen by roughly 43 million people. Which is good news for us, because it means that it shouldn’t be a big deal that this episode is full of more spoilage than an Arizona romaine lettuce warehouse.

As is usual for our shows about the big Marvel movies (and the big DC movies, provided we bribe them sufficiently), we are joined by comedians Ross Garmil and Benari Poulten to talk about Infinity War, a movie that really had no right being as good as it was, considering it had a main cast so big it made A Chorus Line look like Waiting for Godot, and featured a villain best known to movie audiences for sitting on his throne as if it was the Wednesday morning after Taco Tuesday and said throne had a flush handle.

We discuss the economical opening that turns Thanos from appearing to be a lazy gimp to a legitimate threat in all of five minutes, how the movie earns comparisons to The Empire Strikes Back not only in tone but in structure, how the original Jim Starlin comic series compares to the movie, and what we think might be coming in next year’s finale movie. Rob has a theory that’s one part deductive reasoning and two parts wishful thinking, shaken not served, served over ice, no you can’t stop wanting a drink every time you think about that ending.

Again, to be clear: this episode contains huge spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War. Like, within about 90 seconds. So if you’re one of the two people who didn’t see it this past weekend, well, you’ve been warned, and I’ve told you that I don’t want you and Dad listening to this show anyway, Mom.

Thanks for listening, suckers!

It’s been an speedy week, from the threat of yet another government shutdown, to calling other nations ugly names, to a 30-something minute span where it seemed like a large chunk of the population of Hawaii might be on deck to have a chance at their own Silver Age superhero origin stories. It was the kind of week when you just want to escape into a fat stack of comics books. You know, books about a disintegrating monarchy, the mistreatment of prisoners, and the literal vanishing of the Earth.

Okay, that sounds dire, but there were actually some interesting books this week, including the opening to a new Marvel event (you know, as part of Marvel Legacy! Which was supposed to mean an end to constant events!), a strong and surprisingly intriguing opening for one book’s new creative team… and a Tom King book, which always means some spirited conversation on this show. So we break down a few of the bigger books this week, including:

  • Mister Miracle #6, written by Tom King with art by Mitch Gerads
  • Avengers #675 (Part 1 of the No Surrender event), written by Mark Waid, Al Ewing and Jim Zub, with art by Pepe Larraz
  • Old Man Hawkeye #1, written by Ethan Sacks with art by Marco Checchetto, and
  • Suicide Squad #33, written by Si Spurrier with art by Fernando Pasarin!

As usual, this show contains spoilers, and was recorded live to tape with minimal editing. So if you’re looking for a comics show that ranges from speculation about meta-narrative in a comic about super villains to a story about one of the hosts eating a bug, you’ve come to the right place!

Thanks for listening, suckers!

doctor_strange_movie_posterSorry this week’s episode is late, but we had this thing, and we are late because of it. However! This past weekend, Marvel Studios’ Doctor Strange opened in theaters, marking not only the latest film in Phase Three, but the first to have an opening credit production logo featuring almost no comic books.

So we discuss the movie, its similarities to Iron Man, how Benedict Cumberbatch’s American accent is the enemy of suspension of disbelief, whether Doctor Strange is actually history’s greatest villain, how to pronounce The Ancient One’s last name, whitewashing and cultural appropriation, and, of course, spotted dick.

We also discuss:

  • Avengers #1, written by Mark Waid with art by Mike Del Mundo, and:
  • Superman #1, written by Peter Tomasi with art by Patrick Gleason!

And, as always, the disclaimers:

  • Due to strange circumstances, this episode was recorded live to tape with no editing. So while it might mean a looser show from us than you are used to, it also means that it should suffice as a legal request for political asylum (Happy Election Day, everyone!).
  • This show contains spoilers. So if you don’t want to know how to pronounce “Chiwetel Ejiofor,” well… actually, you won’t learn how to pronounce that here.
  • This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. Trust me: you don’t want your mom to hear the way Rob tries to pronounce “Chiwetel Ejiofor.” Get some headphones.

Thanks for listening, suckers!

avengers_age_of_ultron_movie_logo_1301720927We are at peak Avengers: Age of Ultron backlash. The flick hasn’t been reviewed with nearly the nerd boner that the first Avengers movie got… and on some level, I agree. The first Avengers was better. That doesn’t automatically make AoU bad, but I can see how it would disappoint some people. You know, people who didn’t live through a time when, across a three-year span of time, the only comic book movie we got was Howard the Duck.

But the backlash has strengthened, for some, into legitimate anger. Consider this 4,200 word complaint that AoU is a failure on almost every level that one would want in a “popcorn movie.” Sady Doyle, the author, says she likes popcorn movies – big ‘splosions, giant robots, “pure, overwhelming spectacle.” She says she likes ’em big and dumb, kids. So then we’ll be on her side as she tears the flick apart, piece by piece, as useless.

She’s wrong, of course. Let’s figure out why! And I got my own 4,000 words to do it, so buckle up!

avengers_age_of_ultron_movie_logo_1301720927Let’s not pussyfoot around: the only thing any superhero comics fan is talking about this weekend is Avengers: Age of Ultron, which was released in the United States this past week. And we have seen it more than once, so we are ready to discuss it… but this week, we are not alone. We are joined by Boston comedian Tim McIntire, and New York comedian Benari Poulten – old friends and fellow Travelers in The Way of The Longbox – to tear the thing apart.

We discuss the things we liked about Age of Ultron, the things we thought could have used some work, and some of the specific character work done in the flick. We also talk about whether Black Widow really loved Bruce Banner (or whether she was simply continuing her mission, as an expert liar and manipulator, to keep Hulk on the team), how crazy Scarlet Witch might actually be, where Ultron stands in the ranks of Marvel movie villains, and why the end of the movie stands with the traditions of The Avengers in the comics (when it comes to rotating memberships and heroes that might not exactly meet the definition of “World’s Mightiest”) throughout the years.

We also peel off on a tangent as to whether Man of Steel deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as even Thor or The Incredible Hulk. Or in the same breath as The Trial of The Incredible Hulk. Suffice it to say that that this show is a load of contentious, hysterical fun.

And here, now, on a day unlike any other, come the disclaimers:

  • We record this show live to tape. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like a discussion about the sexual history of Captain America.
  • This show contains spoilers. Frankly, we spoil just about all of Age of Ultron. So if you haven’t seen the movie, go do that right now. And then listen to this podcast.
  • This show contain adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. If you don’t want your employer to hear about how Vibranium can apparently cure particular infestations, get yourself some headphones.

Enjoy the show, suckers!

walking_dead_dead_insideIt’s been a packed week here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office. We spent a lot of time watching, and rewatching, and re-rewatching the new trailer for Avengers: Age Of Ultron, and, like all good comic book enthusiasts, we spend a bunch of time dissecting what we saw, speculating on what we didn’t see, and ghostwriting what we’d like to see.

In addition, since we finally had our cable and Internet back online long enough for the Home Office TiVo to get the episodes of The Walking Dead that we missed, we binge-watched it and discussed what we liked, what we didn’t like, subtlety versus heavy-handedness, plot versus theme, and why it is more likely that AMC would kill Robert Kirkman this season than it is they would Daryl Dixon.

We also talk about:

  • All-New Hawkeye#1, written by Jeff Lemire with art by Ramon Perez, and:
  • Guardians Team Up #1, written by Brian Michael Bendis with art by Art Adams!

And now the disclaimers:

  • We record this show live to tape. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like an argument over whether The Walking Dead is in dire need of a musical episode.
  • This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, be aware that we might ruin everything from the ending to last week’s The Walking Dead to the fact that Avengers: Age of Ultron is going to be rated PG-13.
  • This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. You want your Mom to hear what we think about “sweet biscuits”? Get some headphones.

Enjoy the show, suckers!

avengers_age_of_ultron_movie_logo_1301720927In case you didn’t notice, this week was all about Marvel Studios. They released the extended trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron on Monday, and Tuesday they announced their Phase Three slate of movies to be released between 2016 and 2019, including Black Panther, Captain Marvel, and Avengers: Infinity War.

So we talk about those things, along with a brief rundown of some of the news coming out of this weekend’s Rhode Island Comic Con (That news being that it was impossible to get in… less in the “I can’t get tickets!” way than in the “I have VIP passes and you’re telling me I can’t enter the building?” way), and an analysis of the greatest living threat to your comic collection: unsupervised little brothers.

And on the actual printed comics front, we talk about:

  • Death of Wolverine: The Logan Legacy #3, written by Kyle Higgins with pencils by Jonathan Marks,
  • Death of Wolverine: Deadpool and Captain America #1, written by Gerry Duggan with pencils by Scott Kolins, and:
  • Thunderbolts #32, written by Ben Acker and Ben Blacker with art by Kim Jacinto!

And here be disclaimers:

  • This show is recorded live to tape. While it might lead to a looser comics podcast than you are normally accustomed to, it also means that anything can happen. Like trying to cast Benedict Cumberbatch as Squirrel Girl.
  • This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, be aware of it before going in.
  • Amanda and I use adult, profane language, and therefore this show is not safe for work. You want your boss to hear a conversation about whether the final shot of an adult video is better shot in 24 frames per second or 60 frames per second any why? Didn’t think so. Get some headphones.

Enjoy the show, suckers!

avengers_age_of_ultron_movie_logo_1301720927Not gonna lie to you, we have a busy day today: I need to run a few errands before heading to the day job, and this evening will be spent preparing and drilling for our multi-pronged assault on the Internet to navigate the San Diego Comic-Con preregistration process tomorrow morning – there are multiple locations, redundant IP addresses, and multi-faceted communications involved, because we don’t like to screw around – so I don’t have a lot of time today, but I did see this one little tidbit that I wanted to share.

Apparently Paul Bettany, who is the dude who does the voice of JARVIS in the Avengers and Iron Man movies, has been cast as an actual walking, talking, physical presence in Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Notice I didn’t say he was cast as a person. Because he hasn’t. He’s been cast as The Vision.

Actually, wait – I didn’t mean to imply that an android can’t be a person. I don’t want to be offensive to robosexuals. If “robosexuals” is, in fact, what you want to be called; this isn’t addressed in the Associated Press Style Guide. I’m sure your love for the RealDoll is as pure and innocent as the driven snow. Or as filthy and kinky as between any two perverted humans. I don’t want to offend anybody. I’m just trying to talk about Paul Bettany as The Vision.

So yeah, let me do that.

avengers_age_of_ultron_movie_logo_1301720927There’s been a lot of news about Edgar Wright’s Ant-Man recently (including the recent revelation that, in the face of the delay of Batman Vs. Superman until 2016, Ant-Man’s release has been moved up two weeks to take Batman Vs. Superman’s original July 17, 2015 date), to the point where it might be easy to forget that, about two months before that movie’s release, we’ll be getting Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Which means that Age of Ultron is firmly into pre-production, and director Joss Whedon is beginning to talk about what we can expect in the movie. Not in the sense of any actual spoiled plot points or anything – Whedon is a professional, after all, and even rank amateurs know better than to say something that would set Kevin Feige gnawing on their doorknobs and hissing for revenge – but more in the sense of story and plot structure and inspiration.

But Whedon, being no fool, explained his general inspirations to a French publication, probably knowing that they would roll over and surrender the instant Avi Arad hurled himself out of a tree at them, screeching like a rabid were-wombat.

Which, honestly, would be overkill in this case. Because Whedon’s great revelation is that he’s modeling Avengers: Age of Ultron after another classic sequel.

No, not The Empire Strikes Back; Whedon hates that (maybe there’s a little rank amateur still left in the man). I’m talking The Godfather: Part 2.

mighty_avengers_1_cover-468210056Editor’s Note: This story contains spoilers for upcoming issues of Mighty Avengers. So if you’re digging the mysteries that were presented in the first issue last month, please feel free to pretend that we are still upgrading our Web server, and that I am still shrieking impotently at our Web caching software, which apparently only accepts upgrading when it is convinced that you are who you say you are, and that game four of the World Series is safely past the third inning.

We really enjoyed the first issue of Mighty Avengers, written by Al Ewing with art by Greg Land. It was, unlike many recent Avengers titles, a more human, character-based story, with an interesting mystery at the code: who is the “muscular” and “intense” dude who has a history with Monica Rambeau and wears, at least for now, a rotten “Spider Hero” costume into battle?

There was a lot of speculation that it might turn out to be Miles Morales behind that mask, giving that character a place to go if the upcoming Ultimate Universe Cataclysm event does, as it appears it will, fuck all that Universe’s holes and leave it for dead. But regardless, it was meant to be a fun little guessing game for a few months before Ewing pulled back the curtain sometime in the next few issues.

Yeah, I said that it was “meant to” be a mystery. Past tense. Because Marvel went and gave the whole thing away.

Another Editor’s Note: Spoilers will follow after the jump. Last chance to bail, turn on the TV and watch the Red Sox show St. Louis how we do things in Boston…