Sack Full of Surprises

It has been a hectic week here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office. Our new mascot, Parker The Kitten, has taken a lot of our attention this week after his elective surgery – the type of elective surgery of which no man likes to contemplate. So my co-editor Amanda and I were looking forward to a nice relaxing visit to our local comic store, where they know me by name and ask me to not discuss elective surgery of the type no man likes to contemplate, to check out some new comics without having to think about Parker.

Yeah, that didn’t work out.

Yes, that is the latest volume of Darwyn Cooke’s adaptation of Richard Stark’s Parker novels, Slayground. Which, other than being the namesake of our new mascot, is some damn good comics based on some damn good books.

But more importantly than being good, that book is new. And that means that it, and these…

…mean the end of our broadcast day.

But there are some good-looking books in that pile. The one I’m most excited for is Justice League 3000 – a new Justice League book by 80s Justice League writers Keith Giffen and J. M. DeMatteis – but there’s also Justin Jordan’s new Dead Body Road, new issues of Justice League, Justice League of America and Batman, and a bunch of other cool stuff!

But you know how this works: before we can talk about any of them, we need time to examine Parker’s scrotum for leakage (God, this has been a weird week), and time to read them. So while we’re doing that…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!

Behold The Superman: Remastered Miracleman #1 Art Released

The first issue of Marvel’s reprint of Miracleman, drawn by Garry Leach and written by someone Marvel is referring to as “The Original Writer” in order to avoid litigation, but who we will refer to as “The Cranky Old Bastard,” will be released on January 15th, 2014, which, purely by coincidence, will be the same day that my original Eclipse Comics copy of Miracleman #1 plummets to a value where it will be less expensive to use as attic insulation than fiberglass.

While I have been excited for these reprints, it has only been in that they are precursors for Neil Gaiman’s and Mark Buckingham’s completion of their The Silver Age and The Dark Age stories that were scuttled in the 1990s when Eclipse went under. After all, I do own the complete original Eclipse run (including Miracleman: Apocrypha, Miracleman 3D and one or two of the trade paperback reprints of the original issues), so it’s not like I need the reprints for the story. And sure, Marvel has announced that they’re completely digitally remastering the artwork, but really: how much of a difference could that make?

A reasonable amount, it turns out. Marvel has released a few pages from that first issue to show off some of that remastered original Leach art… and it’s looking pretty good. And you can check them out after the jump.

Delayed And Limited Gratification: SDCC 2014 Pre-Registration Delayed Until Early 2014

Very little time here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office today. I am here alone with Parker, a cat who was neutered earlier today. And Parker is treating me in exactly the manner one would expect to be treated by a creature whose testicles I had removed by fiat. So I need to keep an eye on this little fella, who is currently only seemingly motivated by contempt towards me and the urge to lick his Hot Zone, in violation of doctor’s orders, to try and grok what terrible thing has happened to him.

However, there is one tidbit of San Diego Comic-Con news I’d like to report: pre-registration for next year’s convention for people who attended this year has been pushed back until after the new year.

Some Of The Usual Suspects: Judge Dredd #14 Review

A couple of months ago, recognizing a gap in my comics history education and having a 20 percent off coupon from Barnes & Noble burning a hole in my pocket, I started reading 2000AD’s Judge Dredd from the beginning. I picked up the first five volumes of Judge Dredd: The Complete Case Files, and have been picking up volumes one at a time since, getting up to volume eight so far.

So while I am by no means an expert on Judge Dredd, I have soaked up enough to have formed the opinions that Ron Smith is my favorite artist on the title other than Brian Bolland so far, that Walter The Wobot is a fucking stupid character, that Dredd should have ventilated The Judge Child as soon as he found him, and that based on the apparently constant appearances of The Fatties, those British comics creators have a fairly solid handle on American culture.

So while we have had IDW’s adaptation of Judge Dredd by writer Duane Swierczynski in the house, it’s been Amanda who’s been picking it up. I haven’t been reading it, because I figured they would hew closer to the recent Dredd movie than the original comics, and that they would go along the lines of DC’s 1990s version of Judge Dredd, that took place in an entirely different continuity from the original 2000AD comics.

But I finally knucked and checked out Judge Dredd #14, and, well, I was half right. The IDW version of the book seems to take place in the 2000AD continuity, with at least a couple of familiar characters who won’t necessarily mean anything to anyone who hasn’t read some of the original books. And it gives us two stories that are pretty solid crime stories with sci-fi elements like body switching and psychic predictions that fit well into the overall Dredd universe.

It’s a good comic, but it’s only an okay Judge Dredd comic. Because it is missing something.

Matters, Nothing Really, To Me – Star Wars/Bohemian Rhapsody Mash Up

The opening shot of this Star Wars and Bohemian Rhapsody mash up reads, “A long time ago in a karaoke bar far, far away…” and that is about right. Bohemian Rhapsody: Star Wars Edition is a labor of love from the Arizona geek community. It is exactly what you think might happen if a bunch of cosplayers got a little too drunk at the San Diego Hyatt bar after the SDCC Saturday night Masquerade and got busy with a camera and Pro Tools. And we are all the better for it. Ok, Sexy Boba Fett at 1:29 and Sexy Vader at 1:45 are kind of disturbing, but that’s why I’m never far from a bottle of whisky and a shot glass. But, there’s more to enjoy here than to cringe over and it’s always great to see what kind of cool projects a fandom can produce. Enjoy!

According to the fine folks over at io9:

The Students and Faculty of the Digital Video Program at University of Advancing Technology in Tempe, Arizona, produced this video with the help of their cosplayer performers. Stephen Panagiotis, Jamall Richards, and Paul DeNigris wrote the new lyrics, and Adam Newton provided the vocals. Hit the closed caption button to follow along with the lyrics.

Ok – laptop, closed captioned lyrics, bottle of whisky. I have my plan for the evening. I hope Rob understands…

Dissecting Spiders: Commentary Track For The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Trailer

I know I’ve been writing a lot about The Amazing Spider-Man 2 this week, but that’s because there’s a lot to write about it. Between the poster teasing the appearance of Green Goblin to yesterday’s teaser trailer, it’s been a big week for the movie… and if I’m honest, after a year of watching Doc Ock pretend to to Spider-Man, it’s nice to see good ol’ Peter Parker again for a few minutes… although considering it’s a British guy pretending to be all-American, wheatcake-eating Peter Parker, you could argue that Otto is a more authentic imposter.

But anyway, yes, there is still more to talk about the movie. Total Film has put together a commentary track for yesterday’s trailer, including comments from director Marc Webb, Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone and Jamie Foxx. Which turns the three-minute trailer into a nine-minute video, but it does contain a few tidbits about the flick.

And you can check the video out after the jump. But if you don’t have time to watch the whole thing, fear not: I took a few bullet-point notes while watching it that I’ll include after the video.

Teasing Evil: The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Trailer Released

Jesus Christ, was that Doc Ock’s arms and The Vulture’s wings on the wall at Oscorp?

Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Anyway, last week the first big promotional poster for next summer’s The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was released, and it showed not only Rhino and Electro as antagonists, but possibly the Green Goblin. Well, today the first full official trailer for the movie dropped, and it looks like we should be getting at least some ol’ Gobby – or more accurately, probably young Gobby – and at least a teaser for two more villains for the inevitable The Amazing Spider-Man 3.

And that “the inevitable” isn’t weary sarcasm over a perceived future money grab, it’s literally inevitable – movies three and four have already been greenlit and have release dates… but once again, I’m getting ahead of myself. How about that trailer, huh?

Well, you can check it out after the jump.

More Greek Than Italian

So the big mainstream comic news today is that someone named Gal Godot has been cast as Wonder Woman in the upcoming Zack Snyder-directed sequel to Man of Steel, Batman Vs. Superman (or whatever it will wind up being called). Godot was an Israeli Miss Universe contestant who turned model while turning Israeli soldier before going full Fast And Furious for a few movies and finally landing the role of Princess Diana.

Which is fine and which is good, because God knows that its about time that the final remaining leg of DC Comics’s Big Trinity gets an actual movie role… except it is potential terrible news for actual comic fans. Not because of the casting – I have no idea if Godot can or cannot act – but because of Wonder Woman’s role in a movie that Snyder announced at this year’s San Diego Comic-Con with a quote from Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns.

Because if Snyder intends for his next movie to even remotely follow Miller’s Dark Knight plot, well, Diana’s first appearance is in The Dark Knight Strikes Again, and it is only pretty much to fuck Superman stupid somewhere up in the sky (“It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s… a bird. Or at least something the color and general viscosity of bird poop just hit me in the eye. Bird poop that smells like bleach.”) somewhere between superhero wanna-bes and Dick Grayson being, well, a dick. It’s not a good move for the Wonder Woman brand, is what I’m saying.

But that is movie news. Which is well and good, but it is, after all, Wednesday. Which means that there are new comics, and no matter whether the movie version of Wonder Woman is a sky-fucking skank or a Mossad secret agent, it means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

But there are some good looking books there, huh? There’s the first J. Michael Straczynski issue of Terminator: Salvation, the latest issue of The Superior Spider-Man, the latest issue of Think Tank (which really is the best comic book you’re probably not reading), another issue of Marvel’s Ultimate Universe Cataclysm event, and a bunch of other stuff.

But you know how these things go: before we can talk about any of them, we need time to read them. So while we do that…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!

Brain Bleach – Santa The Hutt

I’m just going to leave this here:

Yeah.

So, anyway, that not enough Star Wars Christmas cheer for you? There’s more, after the jump.

New Poster, Classic Bad Guy: The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Poster Teases Green Goblin

We’re still up to our elbows in wires and cables trying to replace the brokedown home theater PC – a new TiVo has been obtained, but upon approaching our cable TV company, we were told, “What is a… cable… card? Um… can you come back tomorrow when Cletus-Bob is here? He’s equally rude and dismissive, but he knows about ‘lectricity and… stuff,” – but there was something that really caught my attention.

Some big posters for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 have started showing up in certain movie theaters. The posters are split into three panels, with Spider-Man posed in the foreground with his back to the viewer, with Jamie Foxx as Electro attacking on the right, and Paul Giamatti stampeding on the left… and someone unexpected attacking from the center.

Ah hell; you can check it out for yourself after the jump.