Bad Touch

Hey, who's got a job for the man? Anybody? Hello?

You know, just the other day I was thinking to myself, “Self? You know, no one’s cornholed our childhood recently. Isn’t it nice to sit down again?” Then I see on Fandango that Warner Brothers wants to reboot Beetlejuice and I have to go looking for my hemorrhoid donut again.

The reboot is part of a first-look deal signed by producer/director/writers David Katzenberg and Seth Grahame-Smith. As part of the deal, Grahame-Smith will write two scripts for Warner Bros., with the distinct possibility of Beetlejuice 2 being one of them. The duo collaborated on the MTV series The Hard Times of RJ Berger, based on a short film by Katzenberg about a well-endowed high school nerd.

I Live Through Angel and Faith #1

Emo Angel is emo.

I’ve noticed, in the short history that this site has been live, that my posts have been DCnU centric. That’s a shame, because there’s certainly a wealth of other comic book business that is managing to make it out into the world, despite the sucking vacuum of the New 52. Did you know, for example, that a comic book store is launching in Toronto that is intended to be specifically for kids? This is exciting, because I often find myself standing in the middle of a comic store in downtown Toronto pissed that they won’t let me do keg stands because of all the teeming, unwashed masses of children that cling to my ankles like so many fleas. Now I can be surly in public in Toronto in peace.

What? Your comic store doesn’t let you do keg stands? You need a better comic store.

Did you know that Image Comics plans on releasing “Morning Glories” #12, “Screamland” #4 and “Spawn” #211 for sale September 7, 2011? Yes! New Spawn! The one thing in my life that is 1992, every day, all the time.

And, meanwhile, Dark Horse released Angel & Faith #1 last week. Part of the “Season 9” arc of the Buffyverse, “Angel & Faith”, written by Christos Gage with art from Rebekah Isaacs, finds Faith in possession of Rupert Giles’s mysterious journal of mystery. This is because Angel killed Giles at the end of Season 8. BUT! It’s not his fault, you see – he was under the influence of Twilight and, as we all know, Twilight ruins everything.

Brain Bleach – Argh, I Can’t Unsee What I Have Seen

Things I’ve learned wandering around the intertrons today:

• 

  That's right. Make it rain for Mommy!

  Voodoo, one of the DC new 52 relaunch titles, will follow the heart warming tale of a stripper who discovers she’s a monster. That’ll put a dent in those tips.

I’ll probably read this. I’m currently working through The Essential Dazzler. I have no moral high ground.

It All Changes Here! Except For The Stuff That Doesn’t…

So, like any good geek, I have finished reading both Flashpoint #5 and Justice League #1 by Geoff Johns. Apparently, I’m not the only one. Justice League #1 is heading into it’s third printing. So, that must mean it’s pretty damn good. Right?

Well, I’ll start with “it’s good because that means fucking Flashpoint is now finally done.”

Flashpoint didn’t do a hell of a lot for me. Between the insane body count and the fact that somehow Kim Kardashian is more competent at pulling off a wedding than Wonder Woman, I just couldn’t get in to it. I really wanted to. I did. But, frankly, I’ve been suffering from massive event fatigue since about the end of Blackest Night so, no offense to Mr. Johns, but he could have created a dimensional rift that allowed the sky to rain vodka and My Little Ponies with power rings and I would have said, “Oh? That’s nice” and rolled over and gone back to sleep. Stick a fork in me.

Welcome True Believers (And Those Who Brought More Beer)!

About 42 days ago, Rob and I were sitting in the bar of the Manchester Grand Hyatt in San Diego. Comic Con had just rolled up its tents and was packing off. We were getting drunk. Rob was getting agitated. These two things are pretty normal for us. However, Rob was also pretty fixated on confronting Dan Didio to ask for his two dollars back. He spent those two dollars on a phone poll over killing Jason Todd in 1988 and, ever since DC brought back the little shit in 2005, Rob has been nursing a whole heartful of hate. He’d been looking forward to Didio’s usual Sunday panel on “Why We Love Comics” and was hoping to take a shot at asking the man about it there. However there was no “Why We Love Comics” panel this year; instead the only shot at Didio was another in a lengthy series of “The New 52” panels. So, now I worried that, should we have a Didio sighting in the Hyatt lobby, Rob would chase after him like the paper boy that dogs John Cusack in “Better Off Dead”: “TWOOOOOO DOLLAAAARS!”

He was pretty worked up.

In any event, we had no Dan Didio sighting – which was probably a good thing. I enjoy not having a police record in the state of California. I’m pretty sure Rob does, too. So, we sat there and continued to pour overpriced libations down our heads and almost, but not quite, began to not notice that the bar at the Manchester Grand Hyatt was entirely too classy for the likes of us. We also started to talk about comic books.