Hype, The Final Frontier: New Star Trek Into Darkness Talking Head Video

It has been a busy week here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office; our neighbors seem to have decided to leave Boston for the winter to avoid the stretch of zero-degree weather we had the last week. They also apparently decided to save themselves a big gas bill by leaving their heat off, which is something that all plumbing enjoys during zero degree weather. So we have been plagued with inspections for water damage and potential burgeoning Black Mold by firefighters and building managers, all who whom espoused concern about our health while nervously eyeing the office stashes of whiskey and cigarettes.

We have a tentative All Clear call, so hopefully our posting schedule will return more to normal soon. But we only have time this morning to provide you with the latest hype video for J. J. Abrams’s Star Trek Into Darkness… which is basically a replay of the original trailer with a bunch of people involved in the movie waxing orgasmically over the experience of working on the film. Which you can check out after the jump.

Pulp With A (Bad) Twist: The Spider #8 Review

For most people, when they think about pulp fiction, they think about period pieces. They picture men in tailored clothing driving vintage Packards, going from swanky cocktail party to party, pausing only to could mens’ minds and then shoot them in the face with a .45 before flying off on a rocket pack or autogyro or something. This is probably a natural association, as most of the classic pulp stories were published in the early 20th century, back when if a man wanted a little titilation, he needed to purchase a nickel story about a pulp hero rescuing a scantily-clad dame in chained dangers. You know, as opposed to today, when a man can pound his fist on his computer keyboard and see pictures of women and fine china, but not using it in a way that Lamont Cranston would find appropriate.

But that’s not necessarily what pulp fiction is at all. For your standard debonair urban pulp vigilante, all you need is a rich socialite, preferably an industrialist, with resources, an ally or group of allies working with him in his crusade on crime, and some kind of costume for his nocturnal activities. Oh – and a gun, and the willingness to use it. Sure, sometimes it’s better to place it in the 1930s or 1940s, when the idea of a guy being able to run around killing criminals without being caught made more sense since most people believed that a “fingerprint” was some form of sex act, possibly related to a Rusty Trombone, but the era doesn’t matter if you have the core elements at place.

So by that measure, The Spider #8, written by David Liss with art by Ivan Rodriguez, is most decidedly a pulp story. Richard Wentworth is a wealthy industrialist with a bodyguard who helps him in his adventures, a Margo Lane in reporter Nita Van Sloan, and even a gimmicky nemesis. And he has a pair of guns to completely make the nut. And it does it all set in good old 21st Century urban America… but it also does it with the worst of pulp tropes: a plot twist so obvious that a blind man could see it coming. For all the cool modernized pulp elements of The Spider #8, it most decidedly will not cloud any man’s mind.

Steampunk Ghostbusters: Witch Doctor: Mal Practice #3 Review

Witch Doctor has always been a book that has been pretty unabashed about wearing its influences on it’s sleeve. If you take a step back – and not even a big step – and unfocus your eyes a little bit, you can see past the characters on the page and see Ghostbuster jumpsuits, with Dr. Gregory House peeking out from Dr. Vincent Morrow’s eyes, and if you could get your hands on the plans for any given building, in the book, you’d probably see “Tim Burton, Architect” signed at the bottom.

This should be a recipe for disaster. After all, think about every groundbreaking hit movie you’ve seen, and then think about how many “homages” to that hit that came out a year and a half later, and how good they actually were. Sure, everyone loves Raiders of The Lost Ark, but a dare you to find me someone who pops wood over, say,Nate & Hayes, orHigh Road to Chinaor even someone who remembers them without resorting to IMDB – and one of those even starred the guy who was originally cast as Indiana Jones. Sure, the parts are all there, but just because they were magic in one place doesn’t mean they can work when you grab them and drop them someplace else.

So yeah: if you stop and think too much about Witch Doctor: Mal Practice #3 too much, you’ll see all the pieces working under the hood. And, depending on what kind of reader you are, that might prove too distracting to really get into the book. Which would be a shame, because even though you can see all the influences at work, writer Brandon Seifert and artist Lukas Ketner has put together one hell of a fun book, with entertaining and funny dialogue, nifty gadgets, and satisfying action. Sure, you’ve seen some of what underpins this story before… but you don’t see it done well often.

We Have A Lot To Talk About – New Walking Dead Trailer

I can barely contain my excitement: this new promo for The Walking Dead television show has Rick and The Governor finally squaring off. As The Governor puts it to Rick, “We have a lot to talk about.”

I am now at the point where I am looking forward more to February 3rd because it’ll mean it’s a week before The Walking Dead returns and not because it’s the Superbowl. Not that I really watch that for anything other than the commercials these days anyway. Stupid, suck ass Tom Brady. Anywho, speaking of commercials, here’s the trailer:

The Walking Dead return to television on AMC, February 10.

Via AMCTV.com

Some Unknown Dude Apparently Knows His Stuff: J. J. Abrams WILL Direct Star Wars

Disney and Lucasfilm clearly have a deeply-rooted hatred of honest, hardworking writers about comics and genre entertainment. There is no other reason for them, after a full day of unanswered and anonymously-sourced rumors that J. J. Abrams has been hired to direct Star Wars: Episode VII, to finally issue a press release on the subject. On Friday night. Well after what is widely accepted and known as Beer O’Clock amongst decent comics bloggers. So by the time I noticed it, I thought that the fine folks at the Disney Corporation had declared war upon us. And that they were sending J. J. Abrams to direct the attack, with Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg in consulting positions. And that, for some reason, they had sent two press releases side by side, and that they were coated with something that was making the room spin. Sure, more bourbon helped, but after that, I became convinced that Lucasfilm was trying to sell me some herbal Viagra. Things get a little hazy after that.

But it is morning now. The birds are singing, the sun is bright, and I have finished throwing up. And it turns out that, yeah: Disney and Lucasfilm has confirmed that J. J. Abrams has signed on to direct the new Star Wars movie after all. We’ve got the press release after the jump… and here’s hoping that it treats you better than it did me last night.

Kill Your Heroes: Deadpool Killustrated #1 Review

So Deadpool goes around killing every major hero in the history of literature. Fuck it, why not?

Deadpool Killustrated #1 is the first issue of what is supposed to be the sequel to Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe, but if you haven’t read it it’s not like it really matters. The theory behind the whole thing is that, in a non-616 version of the Marvel Universe, Deadpool has become aware that he is a fictional character, and he has killed all the other Marvel heroes to set them free from the tyranny of fandom, and yet he is still looking for a way to escape the world of fiction, and blah, blah, blah. Does you really give a shit?

The point is that this book is an excuse to have Deadpool use some truly impressive firepower to kill heroic characters from classic literature. So to say that Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe is the origin of Deadpool Killustrated is arbitrary. You might as well say that the origin of Deadpool Killustrated was writer Cullen Bunn, a six pack of Sam Adams and a pinner joint.

And I really don’t care. Because no matter why it is here, while it is not quite as well-thought as its predecessor (which is like saying that cotton candy isn’t quite as nutritious as Peanut M&Ms), it is big, stupid, goofy fun.

J. J. Abrams To Direct Star Wars, Says Some Unknown Dude

As of this writing, this is a one-source story based on comments from “an individual with knowledge,” with no confirmation from anyone actually named in the story… but this is, after all, the Internet, where things like confirmation and reputable, on-the-record sources happen to other media. Dying media. Media with the budget to make phone calls to people who know things. And besides, if I waited for “confirmation” for everything I saw on the Internet, I’d still be waiting for a call back vis-a-vis whether that girl in the schoolgirl suit was, in fact, a schoolgirl, and I’d never ejaculate again.

What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah: The Wrap is reporting that J. J. Abrams has signed to direct Star Wars: Episode VII.

Get Well, Stan – Stan Lee Will Miss Amazing Arizona Comic Con Due To Illness

The Amazing Arizona Comic Convention has sadly announced the following:

We here at Amazing Arizona Comic Con regret to announce that we have been informed by Mr. Stan Lee’s representatives that he is physically unable to travel and appear for this weekend’s events due to illness. Fortunately, we have a full weekend of great programming, over hundred of comic creators coming to the convention, and nearly 300 exhibitors on the main floor. Further headline guest Jim Lee, the Best Selling comic artist of all time, will be on hand at the event to meet with attendees, sign FREE autographs, and share in the spirit of comics and pop culture. Amazing Arizona Comic Con apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes Mr. Stan Lee a speedy recovery.

For those attendees who purchased Stan Lee Photo Ops or Stan Lee Packages, you may contact INFO@AmazingArizonaComicCon.com to inquire about refund eligibility. Please contact us no later than Friday, January 25, 2013 for more information. Amazing Arizona Comic Con reserves the right to process and issue refunds for eligible and qualified attendees, which will be dispersed from February 18 through 28.

Oh no! Stan!

Stan, get lots of bed rest and clear liquids! We here at the Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office also wish you a speedy recovery. We are confident that your mutant power is immortality and that you will be up and around the convention circuit in no time. If all else fails, we hear that gamma radiation is good for toughening a guy up. Get well soon, sir.

Via Bleeding Cool.

Overkill: Nightwing #16 Review

I now know where Walter White got all the cash he’s keeping in that storage unit in Breaking Bad: from The Joker. Because the only possible explanation for how Joker could not only take over and gin up Arkham Asylum the way he did in Batman #16, but set up the amusement park in the intricate way he did in Nightwing #16, is with a pile of azure crank so big it would make Tony Montana reconsider his life choices.

Nightwing #16 continues this month’s series of individual penultimate chapters of the Death of The Family event, which means that Joker is finally springing his trap against Nightwing. And, as in the beginning of this month of stories as established in Batman #16, Joker’s trap is so elaborate, hideous and wide-ranging that you will have a moment, while reading the story, where you say to yourself, “Um… Joker would have to have a team of trained engineers, including outsourced talent, to be able to pull this off. How does one find a demolitions engineer in another city? Do you go on Monster.com and search on ‘explosives,’ ‘9-11 hoax,’ and ‘Lyndon LaRouche’?”

So what writer Kyle Higgins has done here is to create a deathtrap so wide-ranging and intricate that it almost beggars belief. We have elements here that would require significant travel, transportation and varied expertise to pull off, not to mention days and days without sleep to do it in less than a few months. And on top of it, it almost requires Joker to know that Dick Grayson is Nightwing, so if DC decides to back off that plot point when the series is over, they’re gonna have a real problem unless someone along the line gives Joker some kind of meatball lobotomy, or maybe bring in Superman under the assumption that New 52 Supes has the same power set as Christopher Reeve in Superman II.

It’s almost an insurmountable challenge… but Higgins redeems himself by making Joker’s motivations and explanations for taking action against Nightwing somewhat compelling, even as the scope of what his motivations have led him to do simply beggar belief.

Well, he mostly redeems himself.

Don’t Know What You’ve Got Til It’s Gone: Winter Soldier #14 Review

I’ve been reading, and to varying degrees, enjoying, the books of the Marvel Now relaunch (but not a reboot! Because Marvel doesn’t reboot! And there have always been enough readers who give a tinker’s shit about Havok to put him on an Avengers team!), but the more I read, the more I am beginning to believe that we have just come off the back side of one hell of an era of Marvel comics. I mean, look back to, say, Civil War. Since then, and up until the Marvel Now books, we had Spider-Man’s Brand New Day and Dan Slott’s run of stories on that title. We’ve had Bendis’s Avengers and New Avengers arcs. Matt Fraction’s Invincible Iron Man, and Christos Gage’s Avengers Academy. And while not all of the crossover events have been great shakes (everyone gets a hammer? Really?), you gotta admit that Marvel, in general, put out one hell of a run of comics in that period between 2006 and 2011.

And through it all has been Ed Brubaker on the Captain America titles. From the reincarnation of Bucky to the death of Captain America to his rebirth to the launch of Winter Soldier, Brubaker has delivered some damn good action / espionage stories through the years, and have singlehandedly put Captain America on my pull list for the first time, well, ever.

Well, Brubaker is already off of Captain America in favor of Rick Remender, but he has remained on Winter Soldier… until now. Brubaker says goodbye to Bucky and Captain America, at least for now, with Winter Soldier #14. And while I had some issues with the early issues of the title (somewhere along the line, we went from Captain America being martyred in the aftermath of Civil War to a filthy Commie monkey with a machine gun), as a swan song for Brubaker’s run in Cap and Bucky’s world, it is true to form, a fitting conclusion for his work with the character… and a reminder that we are in a whole new world with Marvel Now… for good or ill.