Yes, we’re a day late again, but after a weekend of pulling, cleaning and replacing every connection on the board, at least, unlike last week, this episode doesn’t sound like we’re talking through a bowl of Rice Krispies.

This weekend, the first full trailer for DC Films’ Wonder Woman dropped, and as big DC Comics fans, we desperately want this one to be known forever as “The First Really Good DC Comics Flick.” So we spend a little time talking about the trailer and the movie. We specifically talk about how by using World War I they’re simultaneously covering historical ground that existed before even comic books, while also forcing comics fans to say, “Yeah: Captain America: The First Avenger, only older and crustier.” We also touch on the fact that the average American public school graduate would could only identify a major “bad guy” of WWI if spotted an hour, Google, and their family members as hostage in the event they failed.

We also discuss:

  • Man-Thing #1, written by R. L. Stine with art by German Peralta and Daniel Johnson,
  • Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys: The Big Lie #1, written by Anthony Del Col with art by Werther Dell’ Edera, and:
  • Action Comics #975, written by Dan Jurgens and Paul Dini with art by Doug Mahnke and Ian Churchill!

And, the usual disclaimers:

  • This show contains spoilers. If you don’t want to know Clark Kent’s secret identity (this actually is a trick question), then get consider yourself warned.
  • This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. You think your significant other wants to hear jokes about Squirrel Girl pulling nuts out of the Giant-Sized Man-Thing? Get some ear buds.

Thanks for listening, suckers!

dc_rebirth_charactersIt’s the first full week of DC Comics: Rebirth, and not a single Watchmen character appears in those issues, so we decided it would be a good opportunity to complain again about Watchmen characters appearing in the DC Universe.

Specifically, it was revealed this week that DC Comics didn’t contact Watchmen artist Dave Gibbons to ask him his opinion about adding Watchmen characters to Dc Universe: Rebirth. So we talk about whether that was a bush league move (protip: yeah), some of the history around DC leaving Watchmen alone, and whether DC Editorial really had any choice in asking for Gibbons or writer Alan Moore for even a half-hearted blessing in using their characters in Rebirth.

Then, since we were on a Rebirth roll, we discussed all this week’s titles from that event:

  • Superman: Rebirth #1, written by Peter Tomasi with art by Doug Mahnke,
  • Green Arrow: Rebirth #1, written by Benjamin Percy with art by Otto Schmidt,
  • Green Lanterns: Rebirth #1, written by Geoff Johns and Sam Humphries with art by Ethan Van Sciver and Ed Benes, and:
  • Batman: Rebirth #1, written by Scott Snyder and Tom King with art by Miken Janin.

And, just so Marvel doesn’t feel neglected, we close the show by talking about:

  • Civil War II #1, written by Brian Michael Bendis with art by David Marquez!

And, as always, the disclaimers:

  • This show contains spoilers. If you want to avoid knowing how the DC: Rebirth books end (spoiler alert: no matter what happens, it probably won’t matter next month), then consider yourself warned.
  • This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. You want your mom to know what “giddy bottom” means? Get some ear buds.

Thanks for listening, suckers!

green_lantern_20_cover_20131784141047If you’re anything like me, when you see Green Lantern #20, and its thickness, squared binding and eight dollar price tag, you will think of The Amazing Spider-Man #700 from just five months ago – an issue that was padded with secondary stories to pad out it’s length. So you might think that Green Lantern #20 would do the same to fill its 86 pages and get a little upset that you’re dropping eight clams on what would seem to inevitably be a big chunk of filler.

You would be wrong. Sure, there is filler here – I’m not sure I needed nine pages of messages of congratulations to writer Geoff Johns (although DC Entertainment President Diane Nelson’s message makes me believe she might be the brains behind the Horse_EBooks Twitter account) – but on the whole, this is a one-story comic book. So you’re damn sure getting your money’s worth with this comic book.

And it is a big story. This is Johns’s final issue driving the Green Lantern franchise, and he treats it like the series finale of a long-running television show, even though the Green Lantern books will continue, as the five full-page ads in this issue for those books attests. And as a series finale-feeling story, it brings back all the old favorite characters for a final bow, it throws all the old fan favorite moments at the wall, and as is befitting a sci-fi action story, it blows stuff up real good.

But this is a space opera, not hard science fiction. So while Johns puts all the pieces into place to make a slam-bang action-packed story, there are a bunch of elements required to push that story forward that are firmly based in the scientific principle, as defined within the Green Lantern universe,  of the Theorem of Shut Up That’s Why. So some of the points between A and Z require a lot of taking on faith to avoid nitpicking… but if you can, you’ll have yourself a damn fun read that brings all your favorites up to bat one last time, and even tells you where some of these characters would end up.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Comic Reader of Earth: You have the ability to overcome great spoilers.

The most obvious thing I can say about Green Lantern #0 is that new Green Lantern Simon Baz is the unluckiest son of a bitch in comics history.

If Simon Baz didn’t have bad luck, he wouldn’t have any luck at all. Black cats must go days without sleep in order to find him just to cross his path. The next time Spider-Man whimpers about “The ol’ Parker luck,” he need only look at Simon Baz to know that a dude with a high-paying engineering job who has banged a supermodel should really just learn to shut the fuck up; Spider-Man could have gotten his powers by being gang assaulted by radioactive lepers and still count himself luckier than Simon Baz.

His luck is so Goddamned bad that it stretches the bounds of logic. Which is the only downside to an origin issue, with a generally likable character, that is packed with character-building story points… even if a lot of those points require you to believe that the hero has luck so crappy that if he won the lottery, he’d die of a gangrenous paper cut from the winning ticket before he could collect.

On one hand, Green Lantern #11 is an encouraging sign that the book might be returning to its glory days of  the spectacular Blackest Night crossover from a couple years ago… almost literally. We’ve got the return of that crossover’s villain Black Hand, he’s got his Black Lantern ring back and he’s bringing the dead back, getting ready to take over the world again. It’s exciting, even though it’s a story that maybe we’ve seen before.

On the other hand, Green Lantern is a sign that the book might be returning to another story from the past. That story is Army of Darkness.

This issue is very much a transition story, wrapping up the recent origin of the Indigo Tribe while laying the groundwork for the upcoming Third Army event, of which it appears that the returning Black Hand will be a big part of. Sinestro has been released from the thrall of the Indigo Lanterns, which is a shame, since on an infinite timeline we’d have see a lettering mistake having Indigo Sinestro muttering, “Nok. Kok. Nok kok. Kok nok. Kok.” Yes, I am emotionally twelve years old, why do you ask?