spider_man_homecoming_poster

“That’s what I love about these [Spider-Men], man… I get older, they stay the same age.” -Michael Keaton (unconfirmed) (probably made up) (I totally made this up)

So we’re on our third person playing Spider-Man since the last time we had a Glutton Bowl, which seems not only unfair, but kinda wasteful. However, this time we have a Spider-Man working within the Marvel Cinematic Universe, played by an actual (almost) teenager, and who seems able to tell a joke better than, “Hi! I am Tobey Maguire, and I am seventeen years old! Why are you looking at me like that?”

And since the first trailers for Spider-Man: Homecoming were released last week, we spend a few minutes talking about some of the details, how some elements of Brian Michael Bendis’s Mile Morales seem to have been integrated into Peter Parker’s story, how cool it is to see Michael Keaton in a real superhero movie again, and how none of this gets around the truth about how hard it is to get excited about our third Peter Parker less than ten years.

But talking about a trailer does not a podcast make. So we also discuss:

  • Spider-Man: The Clone Conspiracy #3, written by Dan Slott with art by Jim Cheung,
  • Wonder Woman ’77 and The Bionic Woman, written by Andy Mangels with art by Judit Tondora,
  • Batman #12, written by Tom King with art by Mikel Janin, and:
  • Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #1, written by Kieron Gillen with art by Kev Walker and Salvador Larroca!

And, as always, the disclaimers:

  • This show contains spoilers. If you don’t want to know who The Jackal offers to resurrect for Spider-Man, then you’re clearly not thinking about The Clone Conspiracy even a little bit, but still: consider yourself warned.
  • This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. If you think your mom might be disturbed to hear what its like to “pull a trailer for Lyle Waggoner,” then get yourself some earbuds.

Thanks for listening, suckers!

doctor_who_christmas_special_2015While we originally planned to list our 2015 Crises awards for the best and worst of the year this week, we were stymied by a combination of holiday travel for Rob, and a crippling cold (and cold medicine high) by Amanda.

So after spending some time talking about what we got for Christmas, and best Christmas memories from childhood (spoiler: none of Amanda’s childhood memories are anything but heartbreaking and hilarious), we talk about the Doctor Who Christmas special, The Husbands of River Song. We talk about the episode’s weird mix of farce and heartstring plucking, how it might mean some solid writing on showrunner Steven Moffat’s part to tie River’s character closely to her first appearance, and how it paints the Doctor as a remorseless and opportunistic genocidal monster. Really.

We also discuss:

  • DK III #2, written by Frank Miller and Brian Azzarello, with pencils by Andy Kubert and inks by Klaus Janson,
  • Teen Titans #15, written by Scott Lobdell and Will Pfeifer with art by Ian Churchill and Miguel Mendonca, and:
  • Darth Vader #14, written by Kieron Gillen with art by Salvador Larroca!

And, the usual disclaimers:

  • We record this show live to tape, with minimal editing. While this might mean a looser comics podcast than you are used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like the tragic tale of a girl, pseudoephedrine and a busted Etch-A-Sketch.
  • This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, just assume that we will explain, in detail, why The Doctor is history’s greatest monster.
  • This show contains adult, profane language and is therefore not safe for work. You want your employer to know what it means when things go “testacularly”? Then get some headphones.

Thanks for listening, suckers!

c2e2_logoIt’s a somewhat truncated show this week, as Rob has been battling a bug for the past couple of days. However, The Show Must Go On, particularly when you do a show about superhero comics during a week when the first medically-created superpowers were discovered. Sure, they’re crappy superpowers, and they run the risk of making you see C’thulhu in every dark corner, but I guess you’ve gotta start somewhere.

More importantly, we wanted to announce that while we will not be covering this year’s San Diego Comic-Con, we will be covering The Chicago Comic And Entertainment Expo the last weekend in April! So in this episode we talk about why we chose to cover that particular convention, a preliminary schedule of podcast episodes we’ll be releasing during and after the con, some of the more interesting panels we want to take in and cover, and how C2E2’s guest roster and programming schedule remind us pretty strongly of SDCC as it was ten years ago.

We also discuss:

  • Darth Vader #3, written by Kieron Gillen with art by Salvador Larroca, and:
  • Miami Vice: Remix #1, written by Joe Casey with art by Jim Mahfood!

And now the disclaimers:

  • We record this show live to tape. While it might mean a looser comics podcast than you’re used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like finding out whether “pig slapping” means what Amanda thinks it means.
  • This show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, be aware that we might ruin your knowledge of the current mental state of Lt. Martin Castillo (that state being “shaky.” See? Spoilers everywhere!).
  • This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. Do you want your boss to know Rob’s definition of “pig slapping”? Of course not. Get some headphones.

Enjoy the show, suckers!

secret_service_1_mark_hamillSince we in Boston are staring down the barrel of another blizzard, we decided to get out of the Home Office while we could to catch a movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service, the new movie based on Mark Millar’s and Dave Gibbons’s 2012 comic The Secret Service.

While Rob in particular didn’t like The Secret Service as it was being released in comic form, we took the movie as an opportunity to reread the original series as a complete work, and we talk about some plot and thematic differences between the comic and movie, as well as what worked about the movie… and what didn’t work. (Important safety tip: if Samuel L. Jackson tells you, with a lisp, that in order to save the world he needs to put an explosive chip in your neck? Call your lawyer and tell him to ask Sam for his business plan first.)

We also discuss:

  • Star Wars: Darth Vader #1, written by Kieron Gillen with art by Salvatore Larroca, and:
  • Southern Bastards #7, written by Jason Aaron with art by Jason Latour!

And now the usual disclaimers:

  • We record this show live to tape. While that might mean a looser comics podcast than you might be used to, it also means that anything can happen. Like the discovery that many English foods sound like euphemisms for perverse locker room hazing (hi, Toad In The Hole!).
  • The show contains spoilers. While we try to shout out warnings ahead of time, if you intend to see Kingsman: The Secret Service, you should consider yourself warned.
  • This show contains adult, profane language, and is therefore not safe for work. Do you want to explain to your boss why chugging a Toad In The Hole isn’t a matter for the police? Get some headphones.

Enjoy the show, suckers!

Fine Marvel Comics, you’ve done it: you finally fucking stumped me. I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Are you happy now, you sons of bitches?

Marvel has released a couple of new one-word teaser posters for their winter Marvel Now releases. Earlier this week they released ones reading “Lightning,” which was pretty clearly a teaser for a Thunderbolts relaunch by Daniel Way and Steve Dillon… and then there was “Survive,” something by Dennis Hopeless and Kev Walker, which seemed to me to be a possible Marvel Zombies title… maybe. That one’s kind of hard to tell – the word “survive” covered in blood might be a Marvel Zombies book, or it might be a book with Morbius The Living Vampire, or it might be about an accidental bathroom encounter with Ike Perlmutter.

Well yesterday, Marvel released two more one-worders. What do they have on the plate for us?

Fucked if I know, but you can check them out after the jump.