Clones… Why Did It Have To Be… Clones: Sibling Rivalry, or Superior Spider-Man #2 and Scarlet Spider #20 Review

Clones. I hate those guys.

Ever since Doctor Octopus took over Peter Parker’s body, started calling himself the Superior Spider-Man and violented himself up, it was only a matter of time before somebody put him face to face with Kaine, the Scarlet Spider – the version of Spider-Man who was already violented up. After all, the comic reading public has since proven that they will pay to see different versions of Spider-Man tuning each other up. It started with The Amazing Spider-Man #149, back in October, 1975, the first time Spider-Man fought a cloned version of himself, and continued, on and on, through the creation of Venom, and then Carnage, and then the return of that original Spider-Clone. And then the Clone Saga.

The Goddamned, everfucking Clone Saga.

Anyway, there wasn’t a hope in hell of getting through this Doc Ock incarnation of Spider-Man without someone spending some time having him knock around, and get knocked around by, Scarlet Spider. And frankly, I wasn’t looking all that forward to it; again, only 15 years ago, Marvel had one Spider-Man punch another, and they spent the next year and a half dragging it out until they all but knocked the title’s dick in the dirt. So in my mind’s eye, I was expecting a multi-issue extravaganza, dragged out over weeks if not months with big fights and constant wondering who the real Spider-Man was at any given time.

So imagine my surprise when the inevitable fight between these two guys was done in just two issues, both available on the same day, with some decent believable interplay between the two, and a common enemy to fight.

Of course, that enemy is The Jackal, who started the whole damn clone business in the first place. Oh: and a bunch of other clones.

Dirty, stinking clones.

The Climax Is Never In Act One: Infinity #1 Review

For years, whenever Marvel kicked off a big event comic, they made a point of swearing before God and everybody that the story could be read on its own, without needing to track down a bunch of other comics to understand what’s going on. It was all bullshit, of course; be it Civil War or Secret Invasion or Avengers Vs. X-Men, the second the event kicked off, it crossed into every title Marvel published. Sure, you didn’t need to read those other comics to understand the whole story, provided you were okay with taking certain things you saw on faith. Things like just assuming that, somewhere in the gutters of the main title, D-Man obtained the Infinity Gauntlet while Batroc The Leaper’s big toes were turned to Mrs. Dash Onion Seasoning.

That, however, was the past. Welcome to Infinity, a book not only with a final page consisting of a diagram telling you what other comic books you should be following to get the whole story, but one which, if you haven’t been reading both Jonathan Hickman’s Avengers and New Avengers since launch day, will be difficult to follow from the first page. Which is fine for people like me who have been getting those books all along, but which isn’t exactly welcoming to any poor schmuck who wanders into a comic store after, say, seeing The Wolverine, and saying to himself, “Ooh! That comic has the dude from the credits of The Avengers movie!”

And that wouldn’t be a bad thing if Infinity #1 was character-driven, and gave you compelling people to follow through this unfamiliar scenario. Unfortunately, this book is all about plot and putting pieces into place to eventually blow some shit up. And the characters are simply pushed through this clockwork, normally almost indistinguishable from each other except for the colors of their costumes.

Hell, one of the main heroes of the story is featured in a four-page sequence where he is asleep, for Christ’s sake.

A Limited Series Named Infinity, And Other Logical Conundrums

Well, here we are: at the start of Jonathan Hickman’s crossover event that he’s been teasing since his first issue of Avengers several months ago. And sure enough, a quick glance shows that it includes Ex Nihilo and Captain Universe and Thanos… and the claim that there are no Avengers to be found anyplace. Meaning that either we are due for a miniseries where The Avengers swoop back to save Earth in the nick of time, or else we are in for a miniseries where Damage Control makes enough money to buy blowjobs from Bill Gates, in between scenes of Thanos’s plans for world domination being threatened by the danger that can only be posed by Squirrel Girl swinging a tire iron.

We will address Infinity #1 tomorrow, but the fact that we have it in hand means that it is Wednesday. And Wednesday means that this…

…means the end of our broadcast day.

And even if Infinity wasn’t in the stack, we still have a very, very decent take here. There’s a new issue of East of West (also by Hickman), a new Saga by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples, another issue of The Walking Dead where a planet full of zombies and survivors can’t seem to kill Negan, another chapter in Scott Snyder’s and Greg Capullo’s Batman: Zero Year, and a bunch of other awesome-looking stuff!

But you know how this works: before we can talk about any of them, we need time to read them. So while we embark upon that endeavor…

…see you tomorrow, suckers!

Hooked On A Feeling: Guardians Of The Galaxy Footage Leaked

Hey, folks. Footage of Marvel’s Guardians Of The Galaxy movie has leaked online. Curious about what it might look like before the studio sends out the inevitable take down notice? Check it out after the jump, along with first images from the movie set.

I Am The One Who – Hey, Someone’s At The Door: Francesco Francavilla’s Breaking Bad Posters

Last night was the premiere for the first episode of the final (half) season of Breaking Bad, and we celebrated like any fan: by being in southern Florida, no more than three minutes drive in any random direction from a meth lab.

We did not, however, celebrate it by watching the new episode. We are among the latecomers to the show, thanks to a TiVo that recorded the first season and, before we could watch them, fell apart like, well, Krazy-8 in an acid-filled bathtub. So we are still catching up (we are, as we speak, watching season four episode Bug, so no one tell us how Walter beats Gus. We are assuming Walter beats Gus, since there is a fifth season. Unless the fifth season is about Badger watching a lot of Ice Road Truckers, but even if it is, do not fucking tell me), but that doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy some of the ancillary benefits of the show’s fandom.

You know, like Crisis On Infinite Midlives personal favorite pulp artist Francesco Francavilla’s episode posters for the show. Posters that have been collected and given as gifts to the cast and crew of the show.

Home Office Team Travel Day: Check Out Game Launch Rock

The Crisis On Infinite Midlives Home Office is currently in transist through the hinterlands of deepest, darkest Florida. While we make our journey back to what we hope will be air conditioned,  beer heavy climes, please enjoy this School House Rock inspired video that warns of the dangers of buying a new gaming console at launch.

Meantime, pray for us.

Via The Mary Sue

No One Can Pick A Nonexistent Lock: Detective Comics #23 Review

When it comes to Batman continuity in the post New 25 / Grant Morrison world, DC Comics really needs to get its shit together. Because for an editorial division that seems, based on constant hirings and firings and reports of last-minute story changes, to want to keep their hands on their creators’ throttles (assuming “throttles” is what we’re calling them now), they really don’t seem to know what’s happening in their own books at any given time.

Just last week, Morrison completed his story arc on Batman Incorporated. That series, as you might be able to tell somewhat by its title, is ostensibly about Bruce Wayne’s public financing of not only Batman, but an army of regional Batman around the world. The events of Batman Incorporated are, at least in part, considered canon throughout the DC Universe, given the sheer number of recent issues I’ve read about Batman moping over the death of Damian. The introduction to this series was a scene, written by one of DC’s most popular creators, where Bruce Wayne calls a press conference to announce that he is the man who finances Batman.

Welcome to Detective Comics #23, an issue where a significant plot point hinges on the idea that Bruce Wayne’s financing of Batman’s arsenal isn’t common knowledge. But the good news is that giant continuity flaw is almost enough to mask the other gaping plot holes in the issue.

My Umpteenth Comic Con – A Boston Comic Con Report From A Jaded Convention Veteran

This was taken at 9:45am, when the line to get in was only curling around one side of the building.

Rob and I attended this year’s Boston Comic Con last weekend. We were pleased to have Pixiestyx and Trebuchet accompany us and not just because Trebuchet offered to drive on Saturday. It’s exciting to see a convention through the eyes of someone who hasn’t been to one before. And while we didn’t get to every creator or panel we had originally intended, a good time was generally had by all.

Rob and I have been attending San Diego Comic-Con for the past several years. It would be very easy to turn this post into a comparative study of Boston versus San Diego, but it wouldn’t be particularly fair. San Diego is the mega prom of all geekdom. Really, it is several conventions for fans of all stripes all crammed under one roof. You like movies? Go pack some Depends and hang out in Hall H. Like TV? Please direct yourself to Ballroom 20. Cosplay enthusiast? Action figure collector? Gamer? We’ve got panels for you, too. Oh, and there’s still programming for those who come because they love comic books. But, San Diego has taken on such a life of its own that it’s almost more like SXSW now. Alternative programming, such as Wootstock, Geek And Sundry, and Trickster, has spilled out into venues around Gaslamp and the surrounding neighborhoods. The number of options is mind boggling and, at times, overwhelming.

Boston Comic Con was a refreshing return to what a comics convention is supposed to be about: comics.

My First Comic Con: A Boston Comic Con Report From A Convention Virgin

For some time now Rob and Amanda have been trying to talk Trebuchet and me into attending San Diego Comic-Con with them, making their case with enticing details such as:

“You can’t really walk there. It’s more of a shuffle-step. Be prepared to throw an elbow.”
“The only place you might get trampled to death is the toy floor.”
and, most disturbing: “There’s no Dunkin Donuts.”

While we haven’t quite worked up the enthusiasm to fly cross-country and spend five days in the middle of a mob, we did think it was time to check out the much closer (though still two hours away) Boston Comic Con. If you have read Rob’s and Amanda’s recaps, this was not the tiny regional con we anticipated – but as it turned out, in spite of the growing pains, the unexpected crowd actually made the event more exciting.

They’ll Fix You. They Fix Everything: Robocop: Last Stand #1 Review

Robocop is awesome. Sure, there are a lot of questionable moments in the franchise, like parts of Robocop 2… and all of Robocop 3… plus the entirety of the Robocop animated series… not to mention every instant of the live-action Robocop TV series that was created to keep Orion Pictures from being sold for corporate parts in the mid 90s… but that original Paul Verhoeven flick? I can watch that all day.

Frank Miller, too, is awesome… or at least he was once. Sure, there have been a lot of questionable moments, like Holy Terror… and his film adaptation of Will Eisner’s The Spirit… and whenever he goes anywhere near a device that has an Ethernet port… but all those stories like The Dark Knight Returns, and Give Me Liberty, and Batman: Year One? Miller in the late 80s, early 90s, I can read all day.

Now, Miller famously wrote the original screenplays for Robocop 2 and Robocop 3 in the late 80s, before various studio executives and directors ripped the things apart to turn them into the respective okay and awful movies they became. And for a long time through the 90s, those screenplays were kind of legends in the comics world: Miller, working when he was at the top of his game, on a genre franchise that exploded into a classic right out of the gate.

Almost ten years ago, Avatar Press released an adaptation of Miller’s Robocop 2 screenplay, with a comic script by Two Guns writer Steven Grant, that was pretty solid as I recall, and was a hell of a lot darker than the actual movie. But that still left Miller’s Robocop 3 screenplay floating around out there. And in the meantime, Dynamite Comics got their hands on the Robocop license and put out some books that, frankly, made Robocop 2 look like Godfather 2.

However, the license has now moved to Boom Studios, who has put the band back together with Robocop: Last Stand, an adaptation of Miller’s Robocop 3 screenplay again adapted to comics by Steven Grant. So we’ve got an 80s Robocop story based on an 80s story by Frank Miller. On paper, it’s everything I ever wanted when I was 20 years old… but the question is: is it a classic like I always hoped? Or is it another wretchedly disappointing Robocop comic like every one I’ve read since we started this Web site?

The answer is… neither, really. But it is pretty damn good