GD Fundamentalists

There’s a panel in Action Comics #1 where Superman is shot by a tank, and he utters, well… he utters this:

Which is not the worst thing I’ve seen in a comic book this week – that would be The Big Lie by Rick Veitch, which makes Hawk & Dove look like Great Expectations, and which I’ll probably rant about tomorrow – but apparently it made the owner of The Comics Conspiracy, a comic store in North Carolina, go apeshit ballistic based on their Facebook page:

As of today’s release of Action Comics #1 by Grant Morrison, The Comic Conspiracy, will until further notice, be boycotting all future Grant Morrison books. If you want Action Comics, you will have to buy it elsewhere…

Christian comic book readers and shop owners. Join us in the Grant Morrison Boycott. Action Comics #1 is a slap in the face to Superman, Christians and Superman creators Siegel and Shuster!!

…It grieves me to see a liberal Scottish schmuck like Grant Morrison take these liberties. I’m sorry, Superman would NEVER take God’s name in vain. In the words of the late Jim Croce, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.

The dude’s blowup got a lot of play in the comics press, including Bleeding Cool, Geeks of Doom, and about a million other sites including Reddit. And I’m guessing that DC Comics, who’re in the middle of the New 52 press juggernaut, didn’t want to alienate the huge Christian fundamentalist market segment, who are well known for their love for comic books and other genre fiction, because they trotted Action Comics writer Grant Morrison out onto the DC Source blog:

Raiders of The Lost Stash

Last Sunday at Atlanta’s Dragon*Con, Jim Steranko showed off his four concept paintings of Indiana Jones for pre-production of Raiders of The Lost Ark.

Keep in mind that Steranko painted this, and these others, before a frame was shot and before Harrison Ford – or even Magnum P.I. – was cast, and you’ll finally realize that, between Steranko on Raiders and Ralph McQuarrie on Star Wars, the greatest contribution George Lucas personally made to either project was “Faster”, “More Intense” and “Hire N-Sync so my rat kids shut the fuck up.”

Spielberg and Lucas were so impressed by the initial work that the duo approached Steranko to do fifty more paintings, “one a day up until Christmas,” as it was November at the time at the time of their second meeting…

Spielberg offered an extension until the first of the year, which Steranko candidly declined.

Considering this was 1979 or so, and that the average comic artist can do a page or two of PENCILS a day, I’m guessing that Spielberg then offered Steranko a mountain of cocaine… and considering the Raiders story conference notes, Lucas probably offered him Marie Osmond. (via i09)

Angry Birds

Okay, I’m sure Sterling Gates is a lovely person, and while I’m sure many people have enjoyed his Supergirl comic between 2008 and the New 52 reboot (Besides Brian Wood, but that’s another story), let’s start with a little basic science, shall we?

Rhymes With Jism, or: Let’s Fist Again

Newsarama’s got a preview of the first few pages of the finale to X-Men: Schism, the big second tier event Marvel’s running alongside Fear Itself… or maybe it’s the third tier event; in the Spider-Man books, Marvel’s running Spider Island, or: “Deadline? Um… Fuck It; EVERYONE’S Got Spider Powers! I’ll Be At The Bar Until My Check Clears!”

I’m gonna be honest with you: I don’t really follow the X-Men. That’s Amanda’s department. But I like Jason Aaron’s writing (If you’re not reading Scalped, you’re failing at comics), so I’ve been reading this one and generally enjoying it because you can’t go wrong with stories about evil children. Because ALL CHILDREN ARE EVIL; they steal your freedom and your beer and comics money for frivilous things like food and pants. That’s why I encase all my children in latex and flush them down the toilet before they can whimper at me. But I digress. Because I have been drinking. Anyway…

Action Comics #1: Look At This Fucking Super Hipster

EDITOR’S NOTE: There might be spoilers here. I will try to keep them out, but I am writing this hung over, so I guarantee nothing.

Okay, I will never rule out the possibility that I am a complete moron, but I’ve read Action Comics #1 three times now, and to save my soul, I CANNOT figure out how Superman knew about the bomb on the platform. Oh wait… this book was written by Grant Morrison. That explains everything.

Morrison has a habit going back at least to his JLA run where he seems to like to jump right into a sequence without any explanation as to the events that let up to that sequence. Unlike any other writer I can think of, he seems willing to say, “Look: this is a comic book. Does it really matter how Superman found out about the bomb? Why spend time showing him investigating and wandering around asking questions or seeing clues or any other explanation? You just want to see him try to STOP the bomb, right? RIGHT… okay, maybe I just don’t feel like writing the explanation. Write it, don’t write it, the check cashes just as easy.”

13 Problems But A Foot Ain’t One

Things will be quiet for the remainder of the broadcast day for one reason.

Okay, for thirteen reasons.

Correlation != Causation

Marvel has a comic book. It’s called Alpha Flight.

It’s set in Canada. Wolverine’s from Canada.

Wolverine’s gonna be in Alpha Flight.

Jonah Hex In: A Good Jonah Hex Movie

One of my biggest fears when I heard about DC’s New 52 was that they’d use it as an opportunity to cancel some of their smaller books that never got the attention (or, honestly, the audience) that Batman and Green Lantern got, but that I really enjoyed, like Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray’s Jonah Hex.

I don’t remember why I was so worried… oh yeah – because DC fucking cancelled Jonah Hex.

But I should have known that Jonah Hex is IMPOSSIBLE to kill (If the Goddamned movie couldn’t do it…)! DC’s kept Gray and Palmiotti on to script All-Star Western, which will be starring ALL of DC’s star western characters, including Jonah Hex, and…

Yeah, pretty much Jonah Hex.

This past weekend, DC released a motion comics trailer for the book, which you can see after the jump:

Scalping Batgirl

Bleeding Cool’s reporting that Batgirl #1 – which doesn’t even go on sale until tomorrow – is selling on eBay for ten bucks… which is more than triple the cover price.

Now granted, the book’s already sold out at the distributor level, but it’s already gone into a second printing (Which, if Justice League #1 is any guide, should turn around back into comic stores in a week or two), and again: IT HASN’T EVEN GONE ON FUCKING SALE YET.

This, of course, is not a problem for me, because when I heard this news I promptly emailed my local comic store owner, who knows me by name and asks after my general welfare when he sees me, and asked him to set a copy aside for me. Which I GUESS you could try with your iPad. It might respond. If it does, well… I’d say seek help, but the people sitting next to you on the bus while you whimper at your computer that you “Really want to get your hands on Batgirl” will probably make sure you get some whether you want it or not.

No, if you want an honest-to-God first print copy of Batgirl #1, your iPad won’t help you. But that’s understandable; if I’d ever taken my local comic store owner into an airline lavatory and made him perch on my lap while I masturbated, he wouldn’t help ME, either. (via Bleeding Cool)

Writing Big

Now to me, here’s some good news: Tony Daniel, the writer and artist on the DC Rebooted Detective Comics #1, did an interview with USA Today talking about how he’s writing some honest-to-Christ Batman whodunit stories, as opposed to stories about The World’s Greatest Caveman No Pilgrim No Why Is Batman Time Traveling Curse You Morrison Your Weed Is Laced Arrrgh.

The article has a bunch of art from Detective Comics #1. Check it out and come back…

Not only is Daniel apparently committed to doing some old school detective comics, he’s the first creator on a major DC book I’ve heard really taking advantage of the reboot to come up with some new villains: