For The Horde – I Mean The Sinestro Corps! DC Universe Online Legends #16 Review

If you’re one of those people who’s screaming self-righteously that there was no need for DC’s New 52 and that everything was fine in the old DC Universe and that your book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland will be available in paperback in November, you do still have an option available… kinda.

Since the launch of the DC Universe Online massive multiplayer online roleplaying game back in January, DC has been putting out what should amount to a three-dollar advertisement to the game: DC Universe Online Legends. It’s an old instinct for these MMORPG companies: people love the continuing stories in the game, so make some quick bank by putting out a comic based on the continuing stories in the game! It’s the kind of cross-media pollination to create market synergy that makes marketing people hard and other people want to set marketing people on fire.

Almost exclusively, these books fail on both a marketing and artistic level, because the publishers generally treat them like what they are: a financed, short-term cash-grab. Seriously: what talent are you going to put on a book with characters you don’t that’ll be canceled the day the game servers get shut down? Frank Miller? Yeah, try Francois Jean-Baptiste Charlemagne Milloirse, and even then only if he agrees to run his own script through Babelfish to save on translation costs.

So DC Universe Online Legends should suck… except DC owns these characters, they have a financial interest in how well the game does, and the marketing actually makes sense: if someone who never read comics tries the game (Let’s say his friends told him there were girls in there – there aren’t, by the way), there’s at least a CHANCE that they could wander into a comic store looking to learn more.

The upside to this for comic fans is that the development cycle of an MMORPG is significantly longer than it takes for Dan DiDio to say, “Fuck it! DO-OVER!”, which means that if you have a rage-on over the fact that Superman’s underpants aren’t on the outside anymore, this book has been a safe haven. In addition, since DC has a vested interest in making the book at least decent, they started out by putting A-List talent like Marv Wolfman on the book.

With that said, Marv’s arc on the book is over, and the game just put out an expansion pack containing a bunch of Green Lantern stuff, so DC Universe Online #16 is just a Green Lantern story. And since Green Lantern was hardly affected at all by the New 52 reboot, you’re not going to be able to tell the difference between this book and the DCnU proper.

Still, this is a pretty good book if you’re a Green Lantern fan.

The Best Laid Plans Of Daleks And Men…

Tell me again about the rabbits, George. Say, what's that clicking noi-

Gang aft agley. Or something. Look, I was going to do this whole review on a copy of Journey Into Mystery #626.1 I bought last week. I was going to delve into the psyche of a now adolescent Loki and discuss how great it was that a writer wanted to examine the often strained, acrimonious relationship between Loki and Thor from a fresh perspective. Would Loki still grow up to be a mistrusted and deadly God Of Lies And Mischief if he had the opportunity to do it all over again, growing up this time under the guidance of a much older brother whom he apparently worships? Or would the cards play out the same?

Who knows? I discovered that Journey Into Mystery #626.1 actually came out back in August and, furthermore, Matt Fraction killed off Thor in Fear Itself #7 this past week. So much for my well laid plan. Thanks, Fraction. Thanks, Time. Bastards.

Let’s Put These Jokers Through Some Changes

I don’t want to spend a lot of time on this, because I am neck-deep in Batman: Arkham City, I have beer that I need to render safe for children by using my superpower of turning beer into pee, and I wish to combine these two activities, culminating in an uberactivity of wandering the house, “controller” in hand, screaming, “Who wants to give Batman a handjob?”

That said, I feel compelled to at least comment on a rumor that’s been going around the comics world for the past couple of days. I can’t confirm or deny it because, well, I’m just a drunken comic fan who doesn’t know anyone in the industry to ask if it’s true and then stab if they tell me it is.

I’ll just start with asking you to remember the source. Rich Johnston at Bleeding Cool traffics in comics gossip. Sometimes it’s true, sometimes it’s not… but the last time this rumor came up, Alan Moore himself said there was some truth to it.

Two days ago, Bleeding Cool mentioned that Watchmen prequels at DC were back on the agenda, after the success of the New 52. That meetings were happening this week. That it had the code name “Panic Room”. That names mentioned included Dave Gibbons, John Higgins, Darwyn Cooke, JMS, JG Jones, Andy Kubert and more.

Indeed I am now told that there will be four Watchmen miniseries, all prequels. Working off an over-arching uber-plot by Darwyn, who will be writing and drawing on aa [sic] book or two.

I believe the phrase I’m looking for is “this shit just got real”.

My first reaction to this news was the same as it was when I first heard it two years ago:

No no no no no no no no

We Interupt Our Field Trip To Batman: Arkham City To Bring You This

Yup, it’s a snippet from The Killing Joke. Animated. With Legos.

That being said, if there was The Killing Joke downloadable content for Lego Batman I would totally play the shit out of that. Until the Batman: Arkham franchises came along, Lego Batman was the only Batman game worth playing.

Yeah. I said that.

Now, back to Arkham City.

Little Pieces Parts: Fear Itself #7 Review

EDITOR’S NOTE: This review contains spoilers. It’s a comic book where the good guys win. You have been warned.

Fear Itself #7, the ultimate chapter (Except for Fear Itself 7.1, 7.2 and 7.3, and don’t forget the Shattered Heroes followup) of Marvel’s tentpole event crossover of 2011 (Except for Spider-Island and X-Men: Schism), has everything you want from a book like this: a giant fight scene. Costume changes. A major character death. Iconic characters acting all iconic.

Yep, Fear Itself covers all the bases that the granddaddy of all crossover events, Secret Wars, threw down. It checks off all the boxes that Crisis On Infinite Earths put on the checklist. It mixes in all the ingredients that Civil War put in the recipe.

(Rob: Omit needless words. – Amanda)

Fine. It’s fucking formulaic, okay?

Quick Hits: Princess Koriand’r Has Her Priorities Straight

Yep. Kori knows what she wants and it ain’t under the Red Hood:

via Tumblr

Well...duh.

The Adventures of Hype Man

Mark Millar’s been teasing this for a while, but it was finally “announced” in the back of this week’s sixth issue of Millar’s and Leinil Yu’s Superior: Millar and Dave Gibbons are going to be collaborating on a comic.

The Secret Service, written by Millar with art by Gibbons, is coming out in February under Marvel’s creator-owned comics Icon imprint. It’s gonna be six issues… and that’s about all we know at this point:

We don’t want to give too much away at this stage… you won’t hear anything else about The Secret Service until the middle of November…

The only other tidbit about the book – and it really isn’t even ABOUT the book – is that Millar is auctioning off the right to name the book’s villain to benefit his former school. Right now that bidding stands at $1,625, which is a little pricey… but totally worth it.

Who wants to kick in a few bucks to make Mark spend 120 pages writing a story about the epic adventures of Grant Morrison?

(via Comic Book Resources)

The Only Thing We Have to Fear…

It is Wednesday, and while we apologize that recent posting and this week’s scheduled podcast have suffered due to a brand-new chest cold (Amanda: Rob, stop pretending your alcoholism is virally related and fetch me more Robitussin), we must still announce the end of our broadcast day for the following excellent reasons:

Now that is a fucking New Comics Day take! We’ve got the final issue of Marvel’s Fear Itself (And associated books like Invincible Iron Man), a new Neal Adams’ Batman: Odyssey, Batman and Wonder Woman #2, Mark Millar’s Superior, and…

…yeah, we got weak and bought Catwoman #2 and Red Hood and The Outlaws #2. Because we’re considering a new feature called Circling The Glory Hole for books that sucked once, to give them a chance to, well, suck or be sucked.

But on the plus side, there is also a new X-Factor and Atomic Robo. Which, if they are found at any glory hole, it is because they need, demand and deserve a blowjob.

And also, we’ve got Justice League #2, which apparently ships every six or seven weeks, making DC’s New 52 more like the New 51.57, which is the kind of math rounding I like, because that makes my wang seven inches even.

See you tomorrow, suckers!

Mark Hamill Will Not Continue To Dress Up Like Your Slave Joker. No, Seriously.

Here – look at this, from, well, here. No, I’ll wait.

Also available for children's parties.

I’ve seen a wide variety of cosplay in my day. I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack Japan-o-philes on fire off the shoulder of Kotobukiya. I watched promo Green Lantern rings glitter in the dark near Entertainment Earth. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. And stuff.

This Is Not The Event: Black Panther #524 Review

And, as often happens, here’s one last review from last week before the comic store opens with this week’s new books…

The Big Two publishers often wonder why so many readers complain about Event Fatigue. Well, here’s the best example I’ve seen of a major self-dickstomping problem with event comics in recent memory.

Last month, Marvel released Black Panther #523.1. The “.1” is meant to indicate that the issue is a self-contained one-and-done tale, unladen by continuity. The “.1” is Marvel telling potential readers that the issue is a safe “jumping-on” point for the book; that if you start here, you can continue reading future issues without confusion.

Black Panther #523.1 was a tight little story about a street-level urban crimefighter and his partner working with, and sometimes against, the cops in New York’s Hell’s Kitchen to apprehend a costumed serial killer. It was dark, moody, and maintained the tone that writer David Liss has been infusing the book with since he took it over after last year’s Shadowland event.

Perfect jumping-on issue, right? Let’s say you read #523.1, liked it, and came back this month to see what happened after last month’s brutal alley brawl. You pull issue 524 off the shelf, hoping for a little of the pulpy action the last issue led you to expect and…

Huh. So Black Panther has six arms now?